A time to reflect

Taking time to reflect in life is essential, and finding those quiet times to just sit and "visit with yourself" are incredibly important, we all need to take stock of where we are and where we are going, and if we find that we are not on the path we want to be on then we need to take steps to change it.

That is what Simon and I did when we made the incredibly difficult decision to leave the country of our birth - we both love South Africa very much and moving away, although successful was never easy, I miss the sound of the waves, the feeling of your fresh washing crisp after a day in the boiling sun, the sound of lawnmowers and the smell of the grass after a huge thunderstorm, the taste of a Wimpy Cheeseburger and the special moments with my family and friends.

When people ask me if I would recommend a move like this I always suggest that they take the time to take stock of what they have, South Africa is a magnificent country and I don't think we always realise it when we are living there surrounded by the crime and the problems, but it is important to never forget that problems are everywhere, and although we love England and will never return to South Africa to live, our lives are not stress free and we encounter our own uphill battles on a daily basis.

My advice therefore to anyone struggling with this decision is to make sure that you are happy and successful where you are before you try to move, a place doesn't bring you happiness, that can only be found from within, the price you pay is very high and you must be sure that you are really willing to pay it.

As I sit and reflect I can't help but turn to Nicholas and his early arrival, I have questioned myself and doubted myself many time as to whether or not it was my fault that he was born early...but in keeping with my theory above, this in no longer a path I wish to be on, the bottom line is that he is now fine and beating myself up everyday is not going to change the fact that he was premature and I am now attempting to put my "best foot forward" and look only on what his early birth has given us - extra time with him and with my mother and I know that there was a reason for his early arrival, it may not be clear to me, but I have to have faith that it was for the best and will have no further implications in his life from this point forward.

As I said to a dear friend the other day, when God closes doors or sends you on a different path to what you expected, hold your faith close as he always has a design and it will become clear in the end, and so far our design has been a beautiful tapestry and I have to believe that it will continue to be so.