Thursday, 25 February 2010

Thursday 25th February 2010

End Week 6
Loss: 2.6lbs (1.2kgs)
Total Lost: 9.1lbs (4kgs)
To goal: .9.8lbs (4.5kgs)

At least I have made up for the disasterous week last week and a bit more so I am smiling - almost 1/2 way there and with 3 weeks till mom arrives I am hoping to try and lose another 5lbs.

Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Wednesday 24th February 2010

At a social gathering a little while ago someone asked me if I still felt like an immigrant or if I was starting to make England my home and if I was, why did I think we were successful when so many others have found the whole experience horrific......at the time I wasn't really sure of the answer but have spent a lot of time thinking about it since then and the following I think are our key factors - every experience is so so different and like I often say to my friend Linnie, I can only comment on my reality.

  • We had pull factors for coming here and not push factors so there was no "bad" memory to fade and make us forget why we left in the first place
  • Some of you have said it is our positive attitude, but like my mom said the last time she was here it has more to do with my bloody mindedness, I have done this and come hell or high water I will make it work.....have never been very good at going back on a decision once it is made and tend to kill myself making sure it works.
  • I arrived with two of my best friends in all the world, Tanya and Linda already in the country so from day 1 I had a support group and someone to phone for a chat when things are hard and I was feeling lonely or lost, and trust me Linnie and I speak EVERY day, I simply cannot overrate the impact of this one, having a friendly voice can be a LIFE SAVER.
  • I had a baby 8 weeks after arriving which (a) ensured that my mom arrived to support me just when the honeymoon period was ending and (b) it opened up the most amazing group of women to me and they have become very treasured friends and as we don't belong to any other groups like a church again this source of friendship can't be underestimated.
  • My dh signed us up for broadband and special call rates to South Africa immediately and I literally ring home whenever I feel like it - sometimes 4 times in a day if things are going wrong and being able to chat to my parents at any time and about anything has helped me cope in some difficult situations. Also being able to ring up old friends for a good chinwag makes all the difference and at only 3p per minute it is money well spent.
  • Fortunately my parents are financially stable and my mother has already visited twice and arrives again in 3 weeks - I am an only child and my relationship with my parents is very very close and having the ongoing contact with them is vital to my survival here.
  • Material possessions are not of significant importance to me and this has been key when having to take hand me downs from people and drive an old jalopy - I am so grateful for everything we have and the fact that it didn't cost a fortune or have a label means absolutely NOTHING.
  • Finally, and probably most significantly I did this with a man I ADORE. Simon and I have a marriage that really works and we compliment each other in almost every way, where I am weak he is a rock and where he is weary, I show no fear. We have pulled together through the entire process and adversity and difficulty has forged us together rather than driven us apart - we have nurtured our relationship through the whole process and work on supporting each other every single day.
Now that I have started, the list just goes on and on, I feel really passionate about this journey and I think that may be the biggest reason for our success - I WANT this with EVERY fibre of my being and as such I pay the price, as high as it is, with what I hope is grace and good humour. Ultimately I think that is the key....are you willing to pay the price for where you live and if the answer is YES you will find happiness.

Sunday, 21 February 2010

Sunday 21st February 2010

Today I bought the children a Wii as a surprise and it really got me thinking.....

I remember hearing somewhere that it takes between 2 and 5 years to really settle in a country and as our second anniversary here approaches I am beginning to understand what that means - the first year of immigration is very exciting and there is basically an adventure of some kind every day, it is like one long lovely holiday and it is very easy to find the wonder in it all.

The second year is, in my opinion much much harder, missing family and friends becomes the first thing you think about in the morning and is often the last thing you think about before you close your eyes. Life settles down into routine and lots of the excitement passes, problems become evident and without support it can seem a bit like an uphill battle BUT if you can hold onto your pull factors and fight the sadness and frustration and keep seeking the joy, the third year seems to dawn like a beautiful morning filled with light and peace and happiness.

2010 has started wonderfully for Si and I and we really feel like we are finally finding our feet and are no longer bumbling along hoping not to make some kind of catastrophic mistake. We feel like we now understand the English and what it means to live here and our friendships are deepening all the time.

We are finding our feet financially and are able to afford some of the little luxuries that make life more bearable and suddenly items like the Wii which has been on the children's wish list for the last 20 months are not so far out of reach. I am not naive enough to think that all the hard times are gone, I am sure we will encounter lows during the next year, but right now they don't seem quite so scary and I really believe we can continue to overcome them.

I thank God every day for this journey, this adventure, for all its ups and downs and for EVERYTHING we have been through and learned along the way, it is the HARDEST thing I have ever done but has also brought me some of the greatest highs of my life and the sense of accomplishment almost 2 years in is AMAZING.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Saturday 20th February 2010

Once again Simon and I have been BLOWN away by the miracle of Freecycle - today I collected a safeway 3 wheel pram in wonderful condition complete with rain cover and cosy-toes (essential in England in Winter) and a baby car seat (similar to a snug and safe) and it didn't cost me a cent - I am constantly amazed by this throw away society and can honestly say I have taken full advantage of some amazing stuff while we have been getting on our feet.

Decided to take the new lighter weight pram out for a "test drive" and enjoy the spring weather this afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed a cream tea at a gorgeous quintessential English tearoom in our village - on our walk I was DELIGHTED to see the first of the crocus pushing through, a sure sign that Summer is finally on the way, and not a moment to soon, it has been a very long, very cold and very grey winter this year.

Went round to Catherine's in the early evening for Si to help her put up a few shelves and the evening developed into an impromptu dinner with Chinese takeaway and a bottle of wine - often these unexpected evenings are the most enjoyable and tonight was no exception, despite the difference in age our kiddies all get on exceptionally well and Catherine is without a doubt one of my closest friends so it was great for our dh's to finally get some time together as well.

A good weekend so far - definitely a diamond!

Friday, 19 February 2010

Friday 19th February 2010

Nicholas and I have been spending lots of time this week with his friends and their moms and the more time we spend together the more grateful I am for these girls in my life - they really have changed my reality in England and without them I sometimes wonder if I would ever have truly settled. Our friendships are growing beyond our babies and I can honestly say I now have a network of wonderful woman in my life that I am so grateful for.

Growing up so fast - Mia, Max and Nick Nick

Snack time - Max, George and Nick Nick


Nick and his mate Max playing together



Received a letter from the Identity and Passport services today saying that Nicholas was not eligible for a British passport and let me tell you it was like my world came crashing down around me - I have been waiting 12 months exactly for his South African passport and the thought of more time groveling in the South African embassy in London was more that I could bear, specially considering we have plane tickets to Spain in August and the staff at South Africa House are so completely unfriendly, unhelpful and to be perfectly honest racist.

Spend an hour on the phone to my mom whilst she tried to console me and convince me that we could get things sorted when she arrives in 3 weeks time. On putting down the phone it rang again and the voice of an angel told me there had been some mistake and Nicholas is in fact entitled to British citizenship and his passport would be processed today and will arrive early next week - well more FLOODS of tears (only this time of joy) and utter utter relief - only 3 more of the family to go and we will all hold dual citizenship, no more South Africa House for the moment at least - shew, my hands are still shaking!

Thursday, 18 February 2010

Thursday 18th February 2010

End Week 5
Loss: +2.2lbs
Total Lost: 6.5lbs (3kgs)
To goal: 12.4lbs (5.6kgs)

An absolutely shocking week in everyway but in the interest of being totally accountable I climbed on the scale this morning - no surprises to be honest but am now motivated for the week going forward.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

It's the little things that make a house a home......

We gave Megan 3 canvases and some acrylic paints for Christmas and these "artworks" now hang on the wall in our passage way just outside her bedroom....I love her use of bold colours, signature of absolutely ANY art she does, it really brightens up the whole area :0)

Tuesday, 16 February 2010

Monday 15th February 2010

Every Monday morning I have a group of friends round for tea so that the babies can have a chance to play together in a smaller, more intimate environment - it has become one of mine and Nick Nick's favourite days of the week.....he just adores his little friends and I love the mommies so it is perfect and it is so sweet to watch them growing up together.

Nick is happy to just be by Ruby's side and watch her play

She really is his best girl in the world :0)

Saturday, 13 February 2010

Saturday 13th February 2010

Have had a really eventful week and lots of exciting developments which I am not quite ready to blog just yet surfice to say my husband is my hero and once again has show just what an AMAZING man he is :0)

Thursday, 11 February 2010

End Week 4
Loss: 1.6lbs (800g)
Total Lost: 8.7lbs (4kgs)
To goal: 10.2lbs (4.6kgs)

A good week and a weightloss I am happy with 4kgs in 4 weeks is good enough for me :0)

Wednesday, 10 February 2010

Wednesday 10th February 2010

Today I had the second part of my emergency root canal treatment and I am sore - I have an incredibly high pain threshold, but when the pain breaks through I am exceptionally intolerant so am feeling VERY sorry for myself and counting the sleeps till my mommy gets here - funny how it doesn't matter how old you are having mom ALWAYS helps :0)

Monday, 8 February 2010

This evening after dinner while Meg was watching telly and Phil was having a bath Nick Nick climbed into one of his toy chests and literally sat for an hour playing with his toys....he is such a precious child and I couldn't resist snapping a photo or two.

Playing with George his talking bear (christmas present from Granny and Papa)


He has learned what the camera means and this is his best posed smile lol

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Sunday 7th February 2010

Man am I tired.....this weekend I worked for friends Kerry and Rob in their catering business called Heaven Scent. Now as those who have known me forever will know I used to own my own catering business in South Africa years ago and thought I was prepared for a weekend serving lunch, dinner, breakfast (I didn't go in for that one) and lunch again, well I wasn't :0)

This is not serving like we do in SA where someone else carries the crates and loads the dishwasher and clears the cutlery and wipes the counters and mops the floors and empties the rubbish bins etc etc etc - Kerry and Rob (and me this weekend) do it all and let me tell you it is incredibly hard work and I was so proud to stand beside my friends and hear the compliments shower down on them.

Kerry and Rob are amazing people and they run a sharp and professional business with superb food that was served on time at every meal and without any stress or fluster - for 65 people and with only the three of us doing literally EVERYTHING....I am humbled by their positive attitude to hard work and inspired by what you can do when you set your mind to it!

A good weekend even if my muscles are aching from the strain ;0)

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Thursday 4th February 2010

End Week 3
Loss: 3.3lbs (1.5kgs)
Total Lost: 7.1lbs (3.2kgs)
To goal: 10.2lbs (4.6kgs)

Well seems like exercise really is the way to control those calories....no really ;0)....funny that, seems all my hunking Nicholas up and down snowy mountain sides burnt off the hot chocolate and slice of Lemon cake - must say I am very relieved as was a bit worried I had blown the whole thing.

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

When immigration isn't easy

Over the weekend I developed a severe pain in my left jaw so on Monday morning I was off to the dentist to see if they could solve the problem. I have an EXCEPTIONALLY high pain threshold and it seems to have once again let me down - I had missed the initial pain of a tooth abscess and the pain in the jaw was being caused by the root dying due to all the infection. The dentist was unable to complete the emergency root canal due to the infection, but did put a sedative and medicated filling into the tooth and sent me on my way to return next week for them to complete the procedure - pain gone, problem solved or so I thought.

Yesterday morning I woke up feeling very tired and like I told my dad on the phone pretty crappy, but kinda got on, as mother's do, with all the things that need doing, especially without a wonderful maid to help - by 11.30am my headache was pretty severe so when Nick went down for his sleep I joined him, by 2pm I was vomiting my heart out and literally asking relative strangers to bring my children home from school as I was by this time too weak to do anything. Si caught an early train home and managed to get me into an emergency appointment with out doctor - diagnosis: severe toxic shock from from the dental procedure and secondary infection in my blood stream. I am now on very strong antibiotics and feeling stronger, not completely better, but well enough to function with some form of normality.

As my header said, days like yesterday are the real test of immigration - I was literally crying on the phone to Simon, knowing that he was over an hour away and that I had no family around me to look after Nick was very frightening as at times I really felt like I was going to pass out - yes there are many wonderful and exhilarating experiences linked to up and moving your entire life, but when the chips are down I do still think the easy thing to do is to stay where you are in your comfort zone with a full support group around you....does that mean I wish we had never immigrated? NO, but it just reaffirms that this is NOT something to take lightly and as this week has shown it is probably the hardest thing we will ever do.

Monday, 1 February 2010

Weekend 29 - 31 January 2010

As many of my regular readers know, my beloved husband turned 40 last week, we have been together for 19 years on 28th March 2010 and I am delighted to say I love him more now than I ever have and feel amazingly privileged to be his wife.

Simon is a strong, loyal and committed man and his family is his absolute life, he has ALWAYS put us first in EVERYTHING and so I was delighted to be able to jiggle and juggle our savings to make sure that for this birthday he got to have one of his dreams come true.....learning how to ski.

We left Haywards Heath for Gatwick via train on Friday morning and then from there it was on to Inverness with Easyjet - and no they aren't as horrible as they have been made out to be, we found the staff very helpful and accommodating, the plane was spotless and the pilot more than competent (thanks heavens lol). Flying time from London to Inverness is only 1hr 20mins but I am delighted to say Nick Nick shut his eyes as we taxied down the runway only to open them again with the jolt of landing....I know what a star, and let me tell you that was only the beginning of it, my baby boy was an absolute SAINT the entire weekend.


Collecting our rental Golf from Eurocar went without problem and it wasn't long before we were on our way to Aviemore and the start of our skiing short break weekend. Our accommodation at 101 Dalnabay was out of this world and filled with all the modcons we could possibly need - I actually heard Simon breath a sigh of relief as we went inside and he saw how gorgeous the accommodation was, such a relief after our first attempt at finding somewhere to stay was met with reviews like "the best thing that could happen to this hotel is for it to burn down".

101 Dalnabay, Silverglades, Aviemore, Scotland




An early dinner was followed by an early night and an even earlier start on Saturday morning - we needed to be at the ski school to collect the equipment by 8.30am so it was up and out even before the sun had risen properly (day starts late in the Highlands of Scotland in Winter).


Our little rented golf having just been desnowed at 8am on Saturday morning


Cairn Gorm (Cairngorm) is the sixth highest mountain in the UK and one of 5 major skiing resorts in the Scottish Highlands, just 45 minutes drive from Inverness it is a winter wonderland comperable to many of the best in Europe - after experiencing record snowfall this year the mountain offered 37 runs from beginner to advanced and had plenty to do to keep even the most jaded skier busy.

We had an AMAZING day and it was one very very proud mummy that watched her family skiing down the slopes unassisted at the end of their first day...to say they were hooked was an understatement and while I tried angling for a day at Loch Ness on Sunday the others were adament we were returning to Cairngorm for another day on the slopes....sigh, I had by this stage spent many many many hours entertaining a baby in a restaurant the size of a South African lounge....admittedly a magnificently patient and well behave baby, but a baby none the less :0)

Megs enjoying a cup of the best hot chocolate I have ever tasted


Excitedly waiting for their lesson

Phillip



Megan



Simon




Saturday night saw lights out before 9pm - my skiers were absolutely exhausted from all the snow and fresh air and also wanted to be out on the mountain by 8.30 on Sunday morning so as not loose too much skiing time due to our flight back to reality. Sunday we had no lessons booked so after hiring the equipment we would need Simon decided to head up to the top of the mountain to some beginner runs up there for he and the children to practise some of their skills.

One very very very patient baby!





Up the mountain we went in the funicular (a little monorail which carries skiers up and down the slopes) and were met with an almost total white out at the top - literally could not see more than 5 meters in any direction and it was FREEZING (-15 degrees). After getting Nicholas and I nicely settled in the top day lodge, Si and the children head out in search of the beginner slopes....well there I am sipping my hot chocolate when the next minute I see Si and the kids heading onto the top of a red slope instead of the nearby green one - after watching for a minute and seeing them edge closer to the slopes I grabbed Nick, thew his coat over his head and ran out into the icy conditions yelling on the top of my voice to save my precious family - well lets just say all is well that ends well but I am sure people will be discussing the mad South African woman out on the mountain in just a jumper for years to come :0)

Anyway, disaster averted I returned to the warmth of the day lodge and continued with my hot chocolate -this time joined by a slice of lemon cake....I know I know and on Thursday I will be devastated when I haven't lost any weight, but 8 hours combined over two days in a restaurant will break even the strongest will (lol). 30 minutes later I glance out of the big picture window and there struggling up the mountain come my family - Phillip's hair has big white icicles in it and Megan's pony tail is a solid lump of ice down her back, needless to say we decided the top of the mountain was WAY to adventurous for our little party so back down we went to the relative safety of the lower slopes.

How Nicholas spent most of his time on the mountain - he really was a miracle baby


Another two hours were relatively peacefully passed with only a couple of mishaps - Si missing his ski lift and being the only person in history to go up the slope with his arms wrapped around the t-bar as opposed to his bottom being on it....nuff said lol and Phillip losing his ski pole while being involved in a mountain rescue - you don't wanna know, and then it was time to retrace our steps and head for home.

Champion Skier waves for the crowd :0)


Two very tired but very happy children at the end of the second day


Personally I don't think Cairngorm Mountain will ever be the same - but hey as I often say if you are going to go, go big! Such an awesome holiday once again made possible by this wonderful journey we are on.