Friday 31st October 2008

Tonight is Halloween and the first real one that my children have ever experienced...in South Africa, not having lived in a development, but rather a free hold house the opportunity to go "trick or treating" never really presented itself so to say that the excitement levels in the house have been off the charts all day would be the understatement of the century. Preparations started early this morning with the pumpkin carving in which Simon was a very willing participant and the kids had a ball scooping out the middle with their hands - although Phil did find the smell a bit much at times.

Later in the afternoon the balloons and pumpkin were placed outside to you tell people that we are willing to be disturbed and will participate and then the children were off to get dressed in their new outfits as Megan had a party tonight and Phillip was going out "trick or treating" with Natasha and Murray.

Well the evening is drawing to a close and unfortunately it was not quite as exciting as the children had hoped...it would seem that we live in an area populate predominantly by elderly people and the vibe just wasn't there. Never deterred Phil still had fun just being outside late at night with his friends and we are hoping that Megs will have had fun when we collect her from the party later tonight. A bit of a disappointment, but still another first for England, really looking forward to the Guy Fawkes display on Wednesday night and that one I know won't be a let down.

Thursday 30th October 2008

Simon and I have been wanting to take the children through to Chessington World of Adventure for some time now as it is one of the attractions we can visit for "free" on our Merlin Card which we purchased earlier in the year. Well, as with many of the attractions in England, they are closing for the winter next week so we had to make it this week or not at all and as tomorrow is Halloween we decided on Wednesday night that today was the day come hell or high water or in this case rain, sleet or hail even the fact that the telly forecast the average temperature for the day as between 4-6 degrees did not deter us.

We woke up to a freezing morning, but the sky was clear and that is always a good sign as you can dress for the cold, but the rain is more difficult, especially with Nicholas. Dressed in about 4 layers each with beanies, gloves and boots we set off amidst much excitement. Chessington is about 60kms from home, but thanks to the usual traffic (this time made worse by an accident which forced us to take a detour) the trip took about 1.5hours....my children are becoming so good at long distance travel (thank heavens for DS Lites) and they really don't moan at all, in fact this time it was me getting restless and impatient.

We finally arrived and Chessington was LOVELY - lots of rides for the children which they loved and a zoo which Megan, Simon and I are not tooo sure about. Phillip is a little young to be concerned and he was just delighted with being able to see animals such as Lion, Tigers, Gorillas and Leopard up close....but for the rest of us the enclosures seemed a little bit small, but that said the animals are all in suburb condition and are all breeding which I think is a good sign, still, not something I will rush to do again in a hurry.

After our walk around the zoo, cups of hot chocolate (it was absolutely freezing) and our lovely picnic lunch (you are allowed to take your own food into all these parks) Si decided the queues for all the "big" rides were simply too long and finally agreed to buy express passes which allows you to go directly to the front of the queue rather than having to wait up to 55 minutes for a ride.

The big rides, unfortunately, were just too much for Megan, so while her and I waited Simon and Phillip went on all the big roller coaster rides.....I was quite amazed as Megs is usually the daredevil and Phil is the cautious one, but hormones must be setting in and Megan wanted her feet firmly planted on the floor while Phil was game for absolutely anything.

A lovely lovely day!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday 29th October 2008

It is now starting to get really really cold and there have been early snow falls all over the UK this week....first time since 1974 they have had snow in October so it sounds like we are in for one hell of a winter. Margie and Fergus headed back North at about 11am this morning after a stunning two days but poor things had a 3 hour diversion due to a traffic accident on the M25 and a 2 hour trip turned into a 5 hour one which certainly isn't fun in this weather. Si took the children out to see Igor this evening while I stayed home.

7 Facts about me

Fact 1
I HATE geckos.....the horrible cold reptilian types - this is truly a phobia and has prevented me from going to work once, yes seriously, I waited on the steps to my office for 2 hours until someone chased the sleeping gecko from over the door as I just couldn't face walking underneath it....well you picture a gecko trapped in this hair.....aaahhhhhhh...enough to send me to a nut house.

Fact 2
I am addicted to property programs on TV and will watch every single one that comes on and even watch the reruns occasionally....I just adore them!

Fact 3
I am a total bookworm and am never happier then when curled up on a warm bed reading....don't have much time for it at the moment but when I do I can easily devour 4 - 6 books in a month - gotta be fiction though, I need to escape so no non-fiction for me.

Fact 4
At one point when I was growing up I wanted to be a ship's captain....my dad has always worked in shipping and I just thought it would be so cool to go to sea - my dad soon set me straight though about life as a captain....and as they say the rest is history.

Fact 5
I didn't think I wanted to have children when I was at university and only agreed because I adored Simon and that is what he wanted.....whoever would have though that I would end up with 3 with possible plans for number 4 - my children are my life and I couldn't imagine existence without them.

Fact 6
I firmly believe that I have a guardian angel and have been blessed so many times in my life that I just know that it is my grandpa looking after me....okay okay.....but this is about those little known facts.

Fact 7
If I could choose any career in the world I would love to be a professional photographer....who knows, one day when the children are grown I may find more time to explore my passion.

Tuesday 28th October 2008

After a lazy start (Margie and I only got to bed after 1am we were talking so much) we decided that the clear blue skies bode well for a trip down to Brighton so very warmly dressed we all headed out in Aunty Madge (aka the bus) for the coast.


After a walk through the steets of Brighton and a visit to the Pavillion Gardens it was down to the beach front for a picnic and a chance for the children to play on the pebbles. The weather was very kind to us and as we sat down behind a wind break on the beach the sun shone and at one point it was actually quite warm. Nicholas LOVED his first visit to the beach and lay kicking his legs and beaming at everyone while the other three children skimmed rocks and dug holes in the stones.

After a lovely lunch we took a slow stroll down the pier and the cold crisp weather resulted in the most PERFECT light for photographs, so while Si and Margie chatted and pushed the pram, Fergus and I were "shooting" like crazy trying to catch the perfect shot and I must say it was great to just be taking photos for photos sake, something I haven't done since my trip to Cape Town with Tracy in 2007. Got some stunning shots (well in my opinion) which I am well pleased with.

Monday 27th October 2008

Margie, Fergus and Devan arrived this morning and it was so lovely to see friends from South Africa....first port of call was the South African shop in Uckfield where we stocked up on Biltong and Boerewors and then the mad South Africans decided that despite the fact that the temp was forecast to be 4 degrees they weren't going to settle for a nice warm English casserole for dinner, oh no...they wanted to BRAAI.

Kerry, Rob and their children joined us and armed with torches (sun sets around 6pm now) and very warm jackets the braai began...I am delighted to say I had Nick as an excuse and wasn't expected to brave the freezing conditions and Kerry and I sat in a much more civilised lounge while the other hooligans enjoyed the fire outside. Even though I was one of the ones voting for the casserole (am becoming more English by the minute) I am very glad they ignored me....lamb chops and boerewors on the braai with potato salad made with Cross and Blackwell Mayo....simply to DIE for and my mouth is watering again just thinking about it.

After dinner a game of Cranium on my lounge floor which is always good for a laugh, and for a moment I almost forgot how far away we are from home....it was almost like "old times" - a different cast, but much laughter and merriment and a very very welcome and much needed evening.

Saturday 25th October 2008

Yesterday was the children's first day at home for half term and we had a lovely pajama day in front of the television....that is one thing about the cold weather, you feel totally justified snuggling up under a blanket and doing nothing at all.

Today heralded the end of my 5th month in England and I find it hard to believe that I have been here that long already. I was speaking to Linda yesterday morning and we were just commenting on how much we feel we have had to accomplish since our arrival and I must say I am amazed at what you can get done when you have to - Lin suggested putting our accomplishments up on our blog so that we can look back on it one day and I think it is a brilliant idea so here goes....

• Found a home
• Furnished a home from scratch (lots of lovely money to spend so that was easy lol)
• Leart my way around a new town
• Learnt to drive in English country traffic
• Learnt the lingo which in some instances is like a foreign language all together
• Found and settled the children into a school
• Learnt to do housework and work out the most efficient way to get the ironing done
• Made new friends
• Had a baby
• Found a Secondary/High school for Megan

Here's to the next 5 months, I only hope they have been as exciting as the first.

FYI, temperature at 09h45 was 6.8 degrees!

Thursday 23rd October 2008

It is official, I LOVE England in the Autumn!!!!

Woke up at 6am to make rock cakes for the children to take to school for their cake sale (no more bought cakes from me) and it was still dark, no worries, lights and central heating on and while Simon exercised in the conservatory and all three children slumbered upstairs, I baked.

At 7am when Si went upstairs to have a shower (and three children continued to sleep) it was still dark - I was amazed, it was like the middle of the night, and cold, oh my word you have no idea....I opened the door to photograph the car park at night in the morning and I nearly died - absolutely freezing, but not freezing enough it would seem coz when I rushed outside to photograph de-icing the car there was no ice....will have to wait for another morning.

After getting the children off to school (sun finally rose about 7.15am) I dressed myself and Nicholas up all warm and cozy....me in socks, shoes, jeans and two jerseys and Nic in a vest, fleece suit, woolly hat and 2 blankets and off we walked first to have his injections and then to clinic. Injection appointment was really quick with no waiting and I found myself with an hour to kill before clinic opened so I decided to take Nic and I on a walking tour of Lindfield....

I walked for an hour and just loved it, I loved the freedom, I love the fact that my nose was streaming and my hands freezing from the cold and that Nic was fast asleep all tucked up in his pram, I loved the beautiful autumn colours and being covered in leaves as they fell from the trees, I love the fact that the shops were only just starting to open on my way back at 10am and I love the fact that every person I walked past greeted me and commented on the lovely blue sky and crisp wind....an AMAZING way to spend a morning and I can't believe that this is my life and that I am actually living in a tiny quaint village in rural south east England that dates back to the magna carta, and that I have my precious and much longed for 3rd baby - who would have thought, every now and then I still have to pinch myself.....but I guess you could call it a "secret".

Now on this walk I had plenty of time to think and as so often is the case my thoughts turned back to South Africa and my family and friends and in particular the Bratz and Tracy and Scrapkits...well as I walked along with a goofy smile on my face I remembered a layout I did about this time last year called "What I know for sure at 34" and this, inspired me to put together a list of "What I know for sure at 35" so here they both are.....

@34......(1) I really don't enjoy having my photo taken (2) There is nothing more important in life than family (3) Communication is the key, keep talking and anything can be resolved (4) Good friends are a rare and beautiful gift and don't come along every day (5) Orange and Green are officially my favourite colours (6) God gave me the girl I wanted and the boy I needed wonder what I will be given for number 3 (7) I don't like confrontation (8) I can cook but can only bake if it comes out of a packet (9) My parents gave me the foundation of my life, but I have made my own choices and all that I am today good or bad is because of me (10) I am an entrepreneur (11)I still don't like geckos (12) Marriage isn't always easy but it definitely is worth it.

@35.....(1) Although change is scary and we are programmed to resist it, half way through my life I have survived it and loved every minute of it! (2) Being in a totally new and scary situation does wonders for your marriage (3) Children are more resilient then we give them credit for and we should learn from them (4) God gave me another boy and I adore him (5) Friends will always be there if the bond is strong, no matter the distance (6) We don't have to be born with sisters to experience sisterhood (7) I still don't like geckos but now I don't have to worry about them (8) I like the cold and just because the sky is grey doesn't mean your mood has to be (9) I can bake....and it doesn't have to come out of a packet (10) Sometime when we are on our own we learn the most about ourselves and we can actually be quite pleasantly surprised (11) I adore my family and the time I have been given to spend caring for them and looking after them has made me happier then I could ever have imagined (12) housework isn't that big a deal! (13) I live to hear my parents voices and being so far apart has made us even closer if that is possible (14) even though you miss something so much it hurts you don't have to be miserable.

Wednesday 22nd October 2008

Oh my word, oh my word....remember the frost the other morning, well today I couldn' t wait for the sun to do it's bit as I had to be at a meeting at a prospective school for Megan by 10am...so I was out scraper in hand de-icing my car, and let me tell you did I work up a sweat, by the time I had finished it looked like there had been a mild snow storm around the car as the ground was literally covered in white ice shavings.....unfortunately due to meeting and me not allowing enough time for de-icing there was no time for photos.

After much agonising, I have finally decided on a school for Megan and officially put in my application to Oathall.....I visited Chailey again this morning and although I do love the school and more importantly the parents of the children in Megan's class who are sending their children there, I have to go with my gut, and my gut says Oathall.

Both schools have huge benefits, one is just a better match for Megs than the other, and I think she will be very happy in the Oathall environment with its huge drama / music department and on site farm. Glad to have finally settled on a decision and can now put it behind me, it has been a cause of considerable stress over the last couple of weeks.

Going green, poverty and the state of the English Family

Life has settled down to normal now and our day to day existence is the same as it was in South Africa, we are happy and thriving and most days are diamonds. As a result of this more settled existence I find I have more time to think and look at this country around me for all its wonders and faults and a couple of issues have really stood out for me.

Going green or reducing your carbon footprint is a massive agenda here and receives all the publicity and support that such an important issue deserves. I am not however naive and do believe that it is only able to be on the forefront of the governments minds because more basic issues such as crime, unemployment and poverty are, relatively speaking, under control.

I think the same is true for the general household or "man on the street", I confess that in South Africa, being green was the last thing on my mind, not because I feared for my safety, or was struggling with poverty and crime, but because it was hard....first washing then sorting and then driving to try and find recycling bins were I could dispose of my "recyclables" was a pain, and I did have to deal with the underlying threat of being alone out of my car in an often remote area while filling the recycling bins...well that's my excuse and I am sticking to it (lol).

Here it is made so easy that there is no excuse, again I stress probably because the county councils have time and resources to commit to this issue. I simply have two rubbish bins in my home, one for landfill waste i.e. food cutting, nappies etc and another for ALL washed recyclables, all I have to do is rinse the jar or bottle or box and pop it into the bin, it is sorted by county and this makes it a totally stress free way for the family to recycle, and consequently it is done in most houses throughout the area.

The wheelie bins are emptied once a week on a alternative basis, one week my landfill bin (with the black lid) is emptied and the following week my recycle bin (with the blue lid) is emptied, this also encourages recycling because believe me if you aren't sorting your rubbish there is no way your landfill wheelie bin will cope with the two week load. Such simple, yet such effective measures, but I guess with a population of nearly 68 million people they have to do something.

All this recycling got me thinking even more about the number of disposable nappies that are making their way into the landfills on a daily basis and I even began to consider going back to cloth nappies in a bid to do my bit for the environment....but yippeeeeee I have been able to find fully biodegradable disposable nappies developed in Switzerland, so I can have it easy and still be kind to the world.

Another issue which I have found to be a huge concern in this country is the number of "poor" people who make absolutely no effort what so ever and spend their lives getting drunk and stoned on the tax payers bill....now don't get me wrong, I think that the social support in this country is fantastic, but I wish that there was more control as to who it goes to, many people simply rely on government and live quite well, especially if they have a lot of children, so consequently there is a ridiculously high rate of teenage pregnancies and many don't ever try to get jobs.

I was having this conversation with a friend of mine yesterday and we agree that maybe you should only qualify for the dol if you have achieved at least one GCSE as a school leaver or have to make a commitment to study further to improve your opportunities of securing employment if you are in between jobs, surely this way the people who are in genuine need will continue to receive the support, but those that are just "milking" the system will be forced to get off their backsides and do something.

A direct result of this downward spiral of society is the consequence to family life, never before have I seen such a decay in family values....now I may be generalising, but from what I have experienced through tv shows such as the "Jeremy Kyle show" (similar to Dr Phil) there is a massive problem here with children being conceived into relationships which are only a couple of weeks old and the parents then spend time fighting and using the children as weapons in totally dysfunctional relationships.

The language here of the youth is also scary and I am often horrified by the level of behaviour that is considered acceptable by parents....I am known as the "strict mommy" by many of the children's friends, but if it keeps my kids safe and with high moral values then it is a label I am prepared to wear. It was quite funny to see the other night that a television show called "The worlds strictest parents" in which messed up English youths are sent around the world to strict parents to be "sorted out" very often features South African parents and generally from the Afrikaans community....so we must be doing something right!

It is amazing what, when no longer faced with South Africa's issue, I have been able to find to think about here.

Sunday 19th October 2008

Today we have taken it exceptionally easy....after a lovely long chat to first Linda and then Tanya (an hour with each of them on a Sunday is exactly what the doctor ordered) Nic and I spent a large part of the morning asleep and have now just finished baking rock cakes for the family....Pizza for dinner later and then an early bed, the perfect way to spend a chilly day.

Yesterday was Phillip's party....well not exactly a party, he didn't want a party, so we just had a "special day" at Tulleys Farm with Phil, Murray, Adam, William, Megan and Sophie. Tulley's Farm were launching their Halloween Fest and the children had lots of fun first in the "Field of Screams" which is a huge cornfield maize and then on the Hayride of Horror....they tried the Creepy Cottage, but Megan was the first one out crying and not long after the boys decided it was a bit much for them too and came running out.

They all managed to convince the ticket lady to refund them their tickets so they could try again later.....yeah right, I don't think Megs will ever go near the place again. All in all a lovely afternoon and I even baked my first birthday cake for Phillip and although it was absolutely no comparison to the masterpieces my mom has made them over the years Phil was chuffed which made me feel quite good.....really am working on this new "domestic goddess" persona.

High: Baking first Phillip's birthday cake and then the rock cakes....funny the things that bring us pleasure!

Low: Having to ground Phillip for a week and ban him from spending any time with Murray and Tash because we caught them all off in the woods on their own again despite being told repeatedly that it is out of bounds....some times we have to be hard to protect them, but his tears nearly broke my heart.

Friday 17th October 2008

Today is Phillip's birthday so it was a very early start to ensure that Simon had time to sit while we opened presents before having to dash off to make sure he caught his train on time. That is one of the major things about using public transport, you can't simply do things in your own time and at your own pace and then, if you are five minutes late, just drive a bit faster to make sure you reach your destination on time - with public transport you need to be amazingly disciplined to ensure that you are at the station or bus stop at exactly the same time every day or the train, bus etc simply leaves without you

Simon is fantastic at it and has only missed his train once, admittedly he sometimes has to cycle down the hill like a demon to make it, but make it he does and I am so proud of the way he has just taken this massive change in lifestyle so totally in his stride - the public transport system here absolutely terrifies me and I still can't read a schedule....in fact I have never even been on the bus and won't attempt a train without Si at my side.

Phillip's presents were a huge success and he was thrilled to bits with his new cd player from Granny and Papa in South Africa....I had also included a cd from them so we all had a morning filled with 80's classics (gotta teach the boy the good stuff before letting him listen to today's rubbish) and both children dressed really quickly so that they could play with Phillip's new DS lite - he was as chuffed with it as i had hoped and I think long distance traveling is going to be much easier now that they both have a console and quite a number of games between them.

A further bit of excitement occurred with the arrival of the children's lift club....Heather (the lovely lady from Zimbabwe who gives them a lift) knocked on the door and asked us to come outside and see something - now you have to understand, Heather knows and understands what it is like to move here from Africa and she also knows and understands the kind of thing that us mad Africans find exciting when we first experience it......so she knew exactly how we would react when we walked outside and found that Auntie Madge (aka the bus) had turned into a Popsicle (lol).

She was literally covered in 5mm of ice all over and I am ever so glad I wasn't doing the morning school run as I would have had no idea what to do. The children were beside themselves and Phillip was convinced God had done it just as a birthday present for him and I must say it was rather fun, but I am just relieved that I can leave it in the sun till 3pm before I have to try an drive anywhere.

Phil is being invested into Beaver's tonight, another lovely birthday treat and then I am off to a jewelry party at my friend Kathryn's house....tomorrow is his special afternoon at Tulley's farm and then on Sunday we are off to shop for antifreeze.

Thursday 16th October 2008

Today has started off really well and is all set to continue in the same way....the weather is clear again and the skies are a perfect blue, there is a little robin hoping around in my garden and the children were both ready for school this morning 30mins early and without fuss, oh and Nic slept in his cot for most of the night last night (first time in months...thank you wonderful osteopath) which meant my dh could actually return to our room as opposed to sleeping on Megan's bottom bunk, so as I said, today all is right with the world.

Nicholas and I are off to clinic shortly where I am sure he will have another amazing weight gain, he actually feels heavier this week and he is in his first 3-6month outfit. Remember the basin bath earlier in the week, well my dh had a brilliant suggestion which we tried this morning and it worked perfectly....I took one of our beanbags up to the bathroom, cranked up the central heating in the room and ran Nic and I a bath that we could enjoy together.....It was lovely and he spent his time smiling and kicking his legs and then once I was finished bathing him I just popped him into his fluffy hooded towel on the beanbag and had a quick bath myself while he sat there chatting to me and smiling his head off....two birds with one stone and such a lovely bonding moment, definitely the way to do it from now on and at least we won't get any comments from the neighbours about bathing babies in the kitchen sink.

Back from clinic, had a lovely stroll through Haywards Heath again finding Phil his pressies and I have come home armed with a lovely lime green Nintendo DS Lite and two games which I just know he is going to love love love - as you may remember we bought Megs one when we first arrived for her birthday and it was some of the best money we ever spent so lets hope the same is true for Phillip.

Tuesday 14th October 2008

It never ceases to amaze me how you can totally uproot your life in one country and "replant" in another and within a couple of months it is life as usual and all the newness and scariness has warn off and the comfort zone starts to develop....I am delighted to say that that is where we are now, yes we (or at least I) have our hard days where we miss South Africa terribly, but we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and go forward.

Yesterday was spent on the couch, literally, my little Nicholas was having a "won't sleep anywhere but on mommy" day and I spent the entire morning watching reruns of the Gilmore Girls and the OC, lovely for the rest factor, but awful for the housecleaning - it was so bad that I only just managed to make it out of my pj's in time for the plumbers visit at 12.30.

Had a wonderful long chat with my dad, it was great to chat about our beloved animals, I do believe that our move has been as good for them as it has for us and they are blissfully happy living in the paradise that is my parents house - such a relief as those of you who went through the planning stages of this trip with me know the absolute desperation I felt at having to put them down. Spent a contented afternoon with the girls from my NCT class and then home to homework and dinner and all those things that happen in households all over the world.

Today was a little bit more interesting, started off with bathing Nicholas in the basin in our bathroom as I didn't have time to go through the palaver of getting his baby bath set up and all that that entails - needless to say he is a wee bit big for that now and I think I will be trying the kitchen sink next time I have to do it in a hurry....more water in the bathroom floor then in the basin - imagine what the neighbours will have to say about those "odd South Africans" when they walk past my kitchen window and see me with the baby in the sink....need to do it just to see the reaction!

After bath time it was off to our second appointment with the osteopath and I have to say this has been a resounding success....it is not so much that Nicholas is sleeping better at night (think that has more to do with the fact that he is sleeping in my bed then with his treatment), but it is just that he seems so much more comfortable in his neck and is holding it up nice and firmly and seems happy to lie on just about any surface (as long as he has company....being alone is definitely not his fav pass time).

Went shopping for Phil's birthday present (he turns 8 on Friday) after the appointment and had a lovely two hours strolling around Haywards Heath, and although I didn't come home with a single present for Phillip (am going to have to visit Argos for that tomorrow), I managed to find myself the most stunning all purpose anorak/jacket in the Heart Foundation charity shop which I picked up for the princely sum of £7.

The charity shops are another institution here that I am still getting used to, if you had told me in South Africa to go to a charity shop to buy my winter coat I would have looked at you as though you were totally mad....but here it is the way to go....the clothing is in stunning condition and generally some kind of label - the very wealthy here buy a coat for a season, get bored with it after wearing it twice and donate it to a charity, the one I bought today still had the tags on, and let me promise you it didn't cost 7 quid the first time round.

Sunday 12th October 2008

High: Watching my children flourish this week - Megan attempted and passed her cycling proficiency at school first time round (in this country the children are all expected to take a cycling proficiency test in their year 6 so that they are schooled and confident in road safety as most of them will ride to school in secondary school); Phillip once again won Player of the Match at football and the absolute high had to be watching him stand up in front of all those strangers in church and read (those of you who know him well will know just what an achievement that is).

Low: Missing something I don't want so much it hurts....it has to be the strangest feeling in the world, I don't want to return to South Africa for anything, (and not because it is such an awful place, but because we have just grown and flourished so much as a family here) and yet I miss it so much....I know, doesn't make any sense to me either, but there you are.

Spent a lovely relaxed morning with Kerry and Rob at theirs enjoying a wonderful fry up brunch cooked by Robert and then off to Tesco's to stock up on Halloween goodies for the children. I don't strictly believe in Halloween, but this is the first time ever my children have had the opportunity to experience this event, so I have given in and allowed them the whole bangshoot so that they can really go ahead and enjoy themselves.

Autumn Morning

When I opened my window this morning the mist was thick on the ground and I couldn't even see my neighbours house across the carpark....true autumn weather I am told and it was so beautiful that I was inspired to take my camera with me when I took Megan into the village for her extra lessons and Phillip down to the barber at 9am.



I was entranced by all the dew on the spider webs and spend a happy hour "playing" with my camera while Megs was busy. What amazed me the most is that in less than an hour the skies were bright blue and there wasn't a trace of mist anywhere.

Friday 10th October 2008

The NHS certainly is a miracle.....I know it isn't really free as we certainly pay enough in National Insurance, but it was so nice this morning to walk into a dentist and have two x-rays and not have to pay a cent - now this is not normally the case with the NHS and dentistry but until Nicholas is 1 year old I qualify for free treatment, so intend to have all my problems sorted in the next 10 months on the British government.

After the dentist I headed for school and a church service to celebrate our 150th anniversary and to my surprise it was quite low key - I was expecting something much grander, but no, 150 years really isn't that much here and the school is actually still quite young, so just a church service and a small tea with each of the children being given a commemorative mug and that was it....small, but lovely.

The church service was very special, and to my utter amazement, my boy was one of the readers and stood up as proud as punch to "perform" in front of so many people, even his teacher commented on it later in the day....he really is managing so much better this academic year. Home with Phillip and a friend Adam for the afternoon and while I had a lovely skype chat with Lin the boys played beautifully and it was such a relief to have a boy play date that didn't descend into chaos.

Every now and then something happens which makes me realise just how grown up Megan has become since arriving in this country, and this afternoon was just such an example....the standard practise here for a play date is to ensure that the visiting child is given tea (dinner) before they are returned home, now as we eat so much later in the day I have fallen into the practise of quickly putting a pizza in at about 5pm and then at least the child has had something before his/her mom fetches them.

This is where my Megs comes into it....unfortunately I found myself all out of pizza bases and as you will remember any kind of shopping whatsoever with a baby and pram is a mission, so today I simply stopped outside Tesco's express and sent Megan in to purchase the pizza bases while I waited for her in the car, and she managed so well. Then at the end of the day when it was time to take Phillip up to Beaver's, Megan elected to stay at home alone (at dusk) to wait for her dad while I took Phillip to Scaynes Hill....and I felt totally confident leaving her, our neighbour is close by in the event of an emergency, but it was still quite something for her to stay home alone in an unsecured environment, but she is so responsible that it really isn't an issue.

Thursday 9th October 2008

Warm glorious autumn weather....I am becoming very British in that I obsess over the weather and I am beginning to understand their excitement when they see blue skies. Decided not to walk to clinic today as I wanted to go and see a house in Lindfield which is up for rent and that I drive past every day on my way to fetch children. I wanted to see it just for comparison really and to see if we can't find something in the area a little cheaper as we are paying £995 a month for our place and although it is stunning it is a little steep.

Sadly, I now totally understand what we are paying for, the property was absolutely tiny and the kitchen was literally one cupboard wide with the fridge and freezer in another cupboard and no room for the washing machine and tumble dryer which were in the conservatory.....and it was on for £925 per month, the third bedroom was so small we wouldn't have even been able to fit Phillip's bed into it, so we are definitely going to stay were we are for at least the next 6 months.

Off to Chailey Secondary School tonight for a viewing, need something to compare Oathall to before we make the final decision, although I am secretly hoping that it doesn't blow me away as it is quite far to drive and will make fetching and carrying a bit of a mission, especially as Phillip is hoping to leave their existing school at the same time as Megan. Other than that, just another day in paradise.

More "Local Lingo"

Mobile = cell phone
Right fit = really good looking
Geyser = an old bloke
Bloke = a man
Boiler = a hot water geyser
Wellies = Gumboots

Local Lingo

I thought it it might be fun to record some of the new words we are now using in England.

BBQ = Braai
Hiya = Hello or Howzit
You alright = How are you or sometimes just hello or howzit
Telly = TV
Trainers = Takkies
Jumper = Jersey
Wicked = cool or good
Oh Bless = ag shame
Tea = dinner
Mate = friend

Well that is all I can think of now, will add more as I hear them.

Wednesday 8th October 2008

It is 5pm here, and the house is surprisingly quiet....Megan and Phillip are out playing on the common with Megan's friend Sophie and Nicholas is dosing on the bean bag in the lounge, so I am taking this opportunity to jump onto the blog for an update.

Had a lovely morning at NCT again today....I really enjoy spending time with these 5 girls and feel a little bit sad that the course only has another two weeks to go. I have no doubt that we will continue to meet until the others return to work in January, but I have found the course content so worthwhile (on top of the social side) that I shall miss our workshops immensely.

I must admit to having quiet smile to myself today as well...when I arrived there 4 weeks ago, Nicholas was the only baby sucking a dummy and it was certainly a little bit frowned upon as dummies aren't nearly as widely used here as they are in South Africa...I continued to sooth him with his dummy through the last couple of weeks while some of the other moms paced up and down rocking and hushing and getting flustered while watching me enviously.

Finally last week one of the girls asked me if I wasn't worried that Nicholas would never give up his dummy, to which I replied that it was unlikely he would walk down the isle sucking one, and if a child is going to need a comforter when he or she is 4 it will find something, and if not a dummy then a bear or a blankie or a thumb, so it is not the dummy that is in fact the problem.....and then today, all 4 babies where sucking dummies (lol) so maybe this third time mom does know a thing or two.

Shopping at Tescos was another success and I returned home feeling rather triumphant - makes such a difference when there is mother and child parking right outside the door and it is treated with the same regard as disabled parking by the other shoppers, so there is always a bay free and they are extra large parkings to allow for easy manouvering of prams etc - what joy!!!!!

Nicholas is also much better today and has responded to the osteopathic treatment quite remarkably, he is now sleeping equally comfortably with his head to the left and we had a wonderful nights sleep last night with him only waking twice, once at 1am and once at 5am so if that carries on I am definitely not complaining. Megan and Phillip out to dinner tonight with Tasha and Murray so a quiet one in for Simon and I, and as I have dinner cooked already (thanks to shwartz) should be as lovely a stress free evening as it has been day.

Tuesday 7th October 2008

This morning I took Nicholas to see a cranial osteopath, and if (like me) you have no idea what that is, well the following should be useful......Based on the Osteopathic principle of structural re-alignment, Cranial Osteopathy is a refined and subtle type of osteopathic treatment of the structures of the head. It uses light manipulative pressure to encourage the release of stresses and strains in the head and throughout the whole body.

This gentle approach is an effective way of treating a range of conditions in all ages, but is often a preferred choice for babies and young children. During the birth process, a baby's head is subject to considerable stresses. Whilst the head is designed to absorb these stresses in a normal delivery, recovery may not always be complete, especially if the birth has been difficult. This may result in subtle changes in function, leading to problems such as feeding difficulties, colic and disturbed sleep patterns. Cranial Osteopathy can often be effective in the treatment of such problems.

Turns out Nicholas has a muscle stain on the right side of his neck between his 2nd and 3rd vertebrae and another one lower down near the base of his back. This is as a direct result of the venteus delivery and has resulted in a slight misalignment of his skull bones.....bottom line, he has a stiff back and neck and that is why he doesn't like to sleep in certain position and why he is so restless - Nick Gosset (the Osteopath) did a first treatment on him this morning and he is already more willing turn his head and after next weeks session we should see a vast improvement.

Other than that a very lazy day, not a great night last night and I have caught up on some much needed sleep....the house is clean and tidy and the ironing is all done after a marathon session yesterday and I have been able to have a go slow without any guilt at all which is lovely. Tea with my NCT group yesterday ended up with just two of us, but it was still lovely and Tanya and I got to know each other a little bit better, which was great - she has a little girl Tabitha who is 14 weeks old and it was just nice to sit and chat with someone in the same place that I am.

Sunday 5th October 2008

My word, but when we are lazy in this country we are soooo lazy, the weather is very conducive to long days indoors snuggled under the blankets watching tv, and that is exactly what we have done today.

Si and I only woke up after 9.30 and then I spent a very happy hour chatting first to Tanya and then Linda on the phone, gotta love my dh and his "talk in the Uk for free" phone package. Simon's famous pancakes for breakfast and wonderful tuna mayonnaise sandwiches with Cross and Blackwell Tangy Mayonnaise (purchased from the South African shop) for lunch.

The lovely thing about days like today is that it really gives you time to reflect and I confess to my mind wondering while I sat scrapping and reliving some of our wonderful memories here. In keeping with my gratitude entry a couple of days ago, I have decided to add a little something to my blog and I would love those of you who read it to join in. I first saw this idea done in a movie with Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfiffer (the name of which currently escapes me, along with the spelling of Pfiffer), and it is something that we have included on an ad hoc basis around our family table for years, and I know it is a practise carried out by the Andrew family and I think the Stemps also do some kind of version of it.

Basically it is recording your day's highs and lows and giving the family time to reflect on the joys and commiserate or help with the pains....anyway, my idea....every Sunday I am going to try and include my weeks highs and lows just as a record of some of the stuff we are going through.

High - Visiting Clinic and hearing that Nicholas has again gained weight and is reaching his milestones in keeping with his actual age rather than his corrected age.

Low - Dealing with some issues that Phil is experiencing with bully's. There is a little boy in his class who is making his life very difficult and it has reached the point where Phil doesn't even want a party for fear of it being called rubbish by this child. Needless to say I have had a word with the school and hopefully next weeks high will be about how Phil is doing so much better at school, so holding thumbs.

Saturday 4th October 2008

The weather has changed again, and my word is it cold.....last night the temperatures dropped to around 2 degrees and the heating went on, thank heavens for central heating, expensive but vital if we are going to survive this season, that along with our lovely thick fleecy blankets which Simon bought us last week - nothing quite as nice as been cuddled down in a lovely warm house under lovely warm blankets while the rain hammers on the windows and the wind howls around outside.

Makes you think about all those thousands of people in South Africa who don't have basic comforts such as warmth and blankets, at least here the poor are looked after, or at least the government tries to ensure that they are all protected and at the moment poor families can apply to have their homes (council flats) insulated for free, which is a good thing as they say we are in for a very cold winter.

As Megan is studying the Tudors at school this term we decided to brave the weather and head out for Tudor Day at Anne of Cleves House in Lewes. For those of you who (like me) haven't studied English history, Anne of Cleves was Henry VIII's fourth wife, and one of the ones who he divorced....remember the saying, "divorced, beheaded, died, divorced, beheaded, survived", well this Anne was one of the lucky ones.


We had a lovely morning and Megan, Phillip and Meg's little friend Shannon had great fun "experiencing" life as it was in Tudor time, complete with spinning on a spinning wheel and then on a spindle, which kept Phillip entranced for ages. Being able to experience days like this is one of the true treasures of living here, imagine spending the day in a house which is over 500 years old and is still held together by the original wooden beams, absolutely awe inspiring. We have promised Megan a trip up to Hampton Court in November as that was one of the main homes of Henry VIII and these trips so help her with her studies and makes the history come alive.


Tonight is pizza and strictly come dancing and tomorrow is a nice lazy day at home....gotta love the weekends, so nice to have Si and the kids at home!

Thursday 2nd October 2008

Today was clinic day and the first time I have been into the village since mom left.....well it felt very strange, and not in a nice way - I suppose it is the same feeling as you have when you are single and surrounded by couples in loving relationships, it seemed like every second woman was there with her mom and they were all laughing and chatting and I confess to feeling kinda sad.

I decided to take a walk up through the village to distract myself and you know what, it just made it worse, it seemed like everywhere I went made me think of mom and what we had been doing the same time last week - I know that these raw feelings will pass and I will slowly but surely get back on my feet, but I confess that it has taken me a bit by surprise, so if any of you reading this have recently immigrated and are expecting family or friends for a visit soon, make the most of it and love every minute of it and allow yourself the time to grieve once they leave, it is the reality of our lives now and although it isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination, it is the price and we have to learn to pay it willingly.

Once I was finally on my walk home I decided that, like I have said before, I can't change the situation only the way I react to it, and my mom wouldn't want me moping around, but rather celebrating my life here, so with that in mind I started focusing on what I am grateful for rather then what I am feeling miserable about, and I am glad to say it worked.

My dear friend Beryldene keeps a regular gratitude diary, I am unfortunately not quite as dedicated as she is, but counting your blessings certainly helps so with that in mind, here are a few of the things that I am grateful for today.

• I am grateful for the beautiful weather we have been having lately, it is a last little bit of summer and the countryside is absolutely spectacular at the moment.
• I am grateful that I can sit in the park and watch the squirrels collecting acorns for the winter, not everyone has the opportunity to change their life so dramatically and have so many new experiences at my age and it is wonderful.
• I am grateful that my children are happy and settled in their new school and with their new life.
• I am grateful for my beloved husband, he really is the most amazing man and his patience with me and commitment to our family has never been as obvious as it is now during this new adventure.
• I am grateful for Nicholas and the wonderful medical care we have received to date and the support that we will continue to receive as he grows up.
• I am grateful to my dad for allowing my mom to stay so long and patiently teaching her skype so that we can stay in touch.
• I am grateful to my mom for putting her life on hold so that my family could get on our feet and learn to cope with our new arrival.
• I am grateful for my continued contact with the Bratz, whenever I need a lift they are always there and amazingly the distance hasn't weakened our friendship at all only made it better.
• I am grateful for my new friends and the special flavour that they are adding to my life, their kindness first through our initial arrival, then through Nicholas's birth and now through my mom's departure has been a wonderful and unexpected gift.

And those are just some of the reasons that I can go to sleep tonight with a content heart and wake tomorrow looking forward to all that it has to offer.

Wednesday 1st October 2008

NTC group meeting this morning, I must admit I am really loving this course and am going to explore the option of completing a two year diploma in post natal counselling - that is a wonderful thing about living here, studying is really easy and there are loads and loads of opportunities to get involved with helping people.

The community spirit down where we live is tremendous and the attitude towards new mothers has been a pleasant surprise, I have been so blessed with all the support and encouragement that I have received that I would really like to give something back once Nicholas is a little older and as I so so loved Mom's and Babes and being involved in PNDSA I thought what better way. The girls on the course are also great and we now meet twice a week, once for tea and chat and once for NTC, so it is at my house next Monday and I am looking forward to entertaining again and intend to lay on a lovely cream tea complete with strawberry jam scones and fresh clotted cream.

After the class I braved the very scary situation of weekly shopping at Tesco's without mom, and considering that last week (with mom) was almost a disaster as Nicholas started screaming half way through the shop, my hands were literally shaking as I pushed the trolley in through the door.....fortunately we made it and Nick was a little cherub, in fact, I was so heartened by our success that I even headed futher into the town to Argos to buy Nicholas an activity gym - he is really getting strong now and is awake for around 4 hours in the afternoon so the idea is that he will spend at least some of that time in the conservatory "playing" while I get the dinner done.

Finished the day off with a visit to our local secondary school and I was very very pleasantly surprised not only by the facilities but by the attitude of the teacher's and pupils and by all the subjects both academic and vocational that the school has to offer - it is definately a very strong contender at this stage, and the best bit is that Megs could walk to school.

The school even has a working farm and Megan was very excited at the prospect of being able to be a "young farmer" in the afternoons and get involved with all types of animal husbandry, something she has been very keen on since her time at Waldorf....this along with the textile and food technology couses has her wishing she could start there next term.