I have had a bit more mental time on my hands recently as I have given up working for Pedal Studio in order to focus a little more on those "mommy jobs" around the house, and although my hands are busy my mind often has time to wander and I find myself musing about all kinds of things....below is a good example :0)
I think part of the reason that I have found peace (and with it contentment much of the time) in the UK is because I have finally truly come to terms with the fact that NOTHING in life is free and no matter what decision you make there is a price.....the question is are you willing to pay it i.e. is it worth the reward and are you able to pay it graciously.
Although for most things in life the price is the same it is the individual that makes the decision as to whether or not it is too high....the price of a chocolate every day is weight gain - to the chocoholic that is a price they are willing to pay but to the personal trainer it is too high, in the same way the price for a gorgeous body is 2 hours in the gym every day, to the fitness fanatic this is an worthwhile price but to most of us it is just not worth it lol.
In my personal case and in my personal circumstance one of the BIGGEST prices I pay is South Africa, the country of my birth and all it entails good and bad, the reward is England and all it entails good and bad.....would others pay that price for the for the same reward....as many wouldn't as would, but does it mean that it is the wrong thing (or the right thing)....not at all it means that it is right for me in this moment and that is why I don't find it necessary to make one country wrong for the other to be right because there is no right and wrong there is simply the price and whether or not you can and will pay it.
With all the above in mind I now look at every single decision in my life with a price and reward view and if I cannot pay the price graciously then I don't choose the reward. I really believe that is the key to happiness, if you are going to pay the price kicking and screaming and making everyone around you and yourself miserable then the price is probably one you can't pay as much as you may want to.
In the same vain if you deny the price or pretend it isn't there you are probably just kidding yourself and as I made a promise to myself on the way over here 2 years ago that NO MATTER WHAT I would always be honest with myself from that moment on I have had to acknowledge the price and that isn't always easy, but it has made me a much more settled, realistic and yet optimistic person.
Just some pop psychology before the weekend, but something I wanted written down for my children to muse over one day :0)
Friday, 28 May 2010
Thursday, 27 May 2010
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
What Happens in Heaven
This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen and is so true, I received it from Kerry earlier today and wanted to share it:
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around.
We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.
My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.'
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section.
Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."
I noticed again how busy it was there.
There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station.
To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing.
"This is the Acknowledgement Section, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed."
'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.
"So sad," the angel sighed.
"After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgements"
"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked.
"Simple," the angel answered. Just say, "Thank you, Lord."
"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy."
"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."
"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .. You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day."
"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... You are ahead of 700 million people in the world."
"If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world."
"If your parents are still alive and still married .. You are very rare."
"If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair........"
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
I just LOVED it......hope you enjoyed it to :0)
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around.
We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels.
My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.'
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, "This is the Packaging and Delivery Section.
Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them."
I noticed again how busy it was there.
There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station.
To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing.
"This is the Acknowledgement Section, my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed."
'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.
"So sad," the angel sighed.
"After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgements"
"How does one acknowledge God's blessings?" I asked.
"Simple," the angel answered. Just say, "Thank you, Lord."
"What blessings should they acknowledge?" I asked.
"If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy."
"And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity."
"If you woke up this morning with more health than illness .. You are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day."
"If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... You are ahead of 700 million people in the world."
"If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world."
"If your parents are still alive and still married .. You are very rare."
"If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair........"
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
I just LOVED it......hope you enjoyed it to :0)
Wednesday 26th May 2010
A very quiet and uneventful week so far,we have now officially been living in England for 2 years and life has really settled down. We now have a daily, weekly, monthly and yearly routine (lol) and with this in mind I am going to try and do a photo blog of
- a day in our life
- a week in our life
- a month in our life
- a year in our life
Monday, 24 May 2010
Monday 24th May 2010
Today is our 13th Wedding anniversary and I can honestly say the time seems to have flown since I walked down the aisle at Clairwood Racecourse all those years ago. Si and I have been together 19 years in all and I knew from very early on that our relationship was one of the good ones....Simon is a strong father, an excellent provider and most importantly a nourishing and loving husband, he has given me the space when I have needed it and supported me unwaveringly in all my ventures - Si is the one of the very few people who know me warts and all and he loves me anyway.
We also started our immigration adventure 2 years ago today so the 24th May has come to be of huge significance in my life - this journey has brought us together and made us grow in ways we could never imagine and it has added so many wonderful new colours and textures to the tapestry of our lives....I could not think of a person I would rather be with every single day and although there have been thorns in our marriage our "rose garden" is definitely dominated by beautiful strong flowers.
I love you my husband and this post seems terribly insignificant and unable to really express the depth of feeling I have today....thank you, in the words of our first dance "I am everything I am because you love me"
We also started our immigration adventure 2 years ago today so the 24th May has come to be of huge significance in my life - this journey has brought us together and made us grow in ways we could never imagine and it has added so many wonderful new colours and textures to the tapestry of our lives....I could not think of a person I would rather be with every single day and although there have been thorns in our marriage our "rose garden" is definitely dominated by beautiful strong flowers.
I love you my husband and this post seems terribly insignificant and unable to really express the depth of feeling I have today....thank you, in the words of our first dance "I am everything I am because you love me"
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Weekend 22nd / 23rd May 2010
When the weather is good in England the British go BIG and spend as much time out of doors enjoying the sunshine and making enough vitamin D to see them through the winter ;0)
So with the attitude of "when in Rome", family Robertson did exactly the same this weekend and have been go go go since Friday night.
Friday morning Nicholas and I spent with friends celebrating Mia's 2nd birthday and in the evening I took Phil and his best mate Kelby down to the local park in Haywards Heath for a couple of hours while Megan was at youth. The funfair has been in town and as Megs had been on Thursday night with a friend, Phil was desperate to try some of the rides. The weather was wonderful and while Nick, Si (who rode to the park after work) and I lazed on a picnic blanket under the trees the boys had a great time running around and thrill riding, Phil still gets a kick out of the fact that he can go off on his own and only has to check in every half hour or so.
As for forecast for Saturday was good I had prepared a huge picnic in advance and we set off for West Wittering beach (near Chichester) before 9am. Si has never been to this particular beach and as I know how much a good beach means to him I was eager to show off my find, but at the same time feeling a little apprehensive as to whether it would measure up to the South African beaches.
On arrival it was pretty windy, which is quite normal on the coast in England, and rather than let it ruin our day (specially after a 1hr20min drive) I quickly walked the 2kms from the beach to town to buy us a windbreak while Si played with the kids on the beach - have to admit to being very proud of myself....a 4km round trip in under 30 minutes without a sweat, and carrying a windbreak and mallet on the second leg....my how things have changed lol
Our little piece of Heaven
A stunning stunning day on the beach, the children swam and had fun and we got to experience (and photograph) our first sea mist ever. I have read about sea mist but it is an AMAZING thing to witness, within literally 10 minutes it had gone from a perfect clear day to a thick white mist hanging over the sea....where I lay on my towel watching Nick we were still in bright sunlight but Si said that when he went to find Phillip it was silent and quite eerie in the mist and you literally couldn't see more than a meter in any direction - my very sensible Phillip knew that we were sitting up a line of yellow buoy from where he and another little boy were playing and he simply used those to lead them out of the mist....really become so so responsible.
Once the sea mist was down - really an amazing thing to see
After finally dragging our very happy and sun kissed bodies off the beach 5 hours after arriving we were off for a braai at Kerry and Rob's where once again the whole family just chilled in our second home - pure bliss and the perfect way to finish a perfect day.
This morning once again dawned with huge big blue skies and temperatures promising to sit in the high twenties - after a very very lazy start spent sitting on our sun drenched terrace drinking coffee and reading we took the children for a walk in Blunts Wood and then on to a little park in Cuckfield which has a lido (outdoor swimming pool) where the kids could play in a way reminiscent of those long lazy summers spent at Bazely. Such an awesome weekend....long may this perfect weather last.
So with the attitude of "when in Rome", family Robertson did exactly the same this weekend and have been go go go since Friday night.
Friday morning Nicholas and I spent with friends celebrating Mia's 2nd birthday and in the evening I took Phil and his best mate Kelby down to the local park in Haywards Heath for a couple of hours while Megan was at youth. The funfair has been in town and as Megs had been on Thursday night with a friend, Phil was desperate to try some of the rides. The weather was wonderful and while Nick, Si (who rode to the park after work) and I lazed on a picnic blanket under the trees the boys had a great time running around and thrill riding, Phil still gets a kick out of the fact that he can go off on his own and only has to check in every half hour or so.
As for forecast for Saturday was good I had prepared a huge picnic in advance and we set off for West Wittering beach (near Chichester) before 9am. Si has never been to this particular beach and as I know how much a good beach means to him I was eager to show off my find, but at the same time feeling a little apprehensive as to whether it would measure up to the South African beaches.
On arrival it was pretty windy, which is quite normal on the coast in England, and rather than let it ruin our day (specially after a 1hr20min drive) I quickly walked the 2kms from the beach to town to buy us a windbreak while Si played with the kids on the beach - have to admit to being very proud of myself....a 4km round trip in under 30 minutes without a sweat, and carrying a windbreak and mallet on the second leg....my how things have changed lol
Quality time between siblings....who says England doesn't have a BIG sky?
Our little piece of Heaven
A stunning stunning day on the beach, the children swam and had fun and we got to experience (and photograph) our first sea mist ever. I have read about sea mist but it is an AMAZING thing to witness, within literally 10 minutes it had gone from a perfect clear day to a thick white mist hanging over the sea....where I lay on my towel watching Nick we were still in bright sunlight but Si said that when he went to find Phillip it was silent and quite eerie in the mist and you literally couldn't see more than a meter in any direction - my very sensible Phillip knew that we were sitting up a line of yellow buoy from where he and another little boy were playing and he simply used those to lead them out of the mist....really become so so responsible.
Soaking up the sun
Once the sea mist was down - really an amazing thing to see
After finally dragging our very happy and sun kissed bodies off the beach 5 hours after arriving we were off for a braai at Kerry and Rob's where once again the whole family just chilled in our second home - pure bliss and the perfect way to finish a perfect day.
Nicholas and Meggie enjoying the sunshine
This morning once again dawned with huge big blue skies and temperatures promising to sit in the high twenties - after a very very lazy start spent sitting on our sun drenched terrace drinking coffee and reading we took the children for a walk in Blunts Wood and then on to a little park in Cuckfield which has a lido (outdoor swimming pool) where the kids could play in a way reminiscent of those long lazy summers spent at Bazely. Such an awesome weekend....long may this perfect weather last.
Saturday, 22 May 2010
Team up Thursday
Having been inspired by my good blog buddy Marcelle's recent venture into this new blog "challenge", another great blog buddy Clair McGeer and I are going to be teaming up for "Team up Thursday" - basically each week we choose a photographic theme and then go out there and shoot it....both pictures will appear on both blogs each Thursday along with a small description of the photographers inspiration and any technical work done on the raw shot. As it is strictly a photographic challenge I will be displaying the work on my other blog What I know about taking Photos which is in serious need of some attention ;0)
Hope you will come and have a look at our efforts and give us your thoughts....the weeks theme is "New Experiences"
Hope you will come and have a look at our efforts and give us your thoughts....the weeks theme is "New Experiences"
Monday, 17 May 2010
Monday 17th May 2010
Spent the morning with some friends at Wakehurst Place and just couldn't resist these clips of Nick Nick enjoying the local birdlife :0)
After finally working out that it wasn't a telescope Nick enjoyed the whole gun idea lol - typical boyI don't let him chase the birds and frighten them but he just LOVES following them around
A kindly lady gave Nick some bread to feed the ducks - something I don't generally allow coz it is terribly bad for the birds - he couldn't believe his luck and I guess just a little can't hurt too much
Showing his best girl how it all works
Weekend 15th / 16th May 2010
This morning saw the official opening of first ever "Lindfield Arts Festival" and it was with great excitement that Phillip prepared to join the rest of the Lindfield and Blackthorns choir to open the event in the All Saints church on the High Street. With the acoustics in the church the children sounded AMAZING and I couldn't help a little tear watching my precious son perform....he has come so far in the last two years and is now happy to be up on stage with hundreds of eyes on him while he does something that he loves - WELL DONE Phillie it was a wonderful morning.
The choir singing a small snippet of the Beatles "She loves me" - Phil's current girlfriend is the little one to his right ;0)
Straight after the performance I was off on the train up to London to meet Tanya for the night, we have been planning this trip for some time now and as always it was just wonderful to be together and walk and talk and eat and laugh. Saturday we spent wondering along the river before heading to our wonderful hotel near Trafalgar square, it was so cool to be totally without stress and responsibility, if we wanted to sit and drink coffee we did if we wanted to turn round and retrace our steps for some reason we did, most of the time neither one of us was really aware of where we were going as we had no destination in mind and just enjoyed being out in our favourite city together.
Saturday evening saw us taking the guided "Jack the Ripper" walk around the East End of London and it was such fun we have decided to include at least one walk in all our future trips....some of the accounts on this walk are a little gruesome but I have to confess to a certain macabre fascination to be actually standing on the spot were some of the poor victims were found. If you are interested find out more about this particular unsolved case at www.casebook.org it really is fascinating, you can read the actual witness transcripts and it has lots of information I have never heard before. After our walk we enjoyed a very leisurely dinner and a bottle of wine at Bella Italia (we needed it lol) and then head home for bed worn out but very relaxed.
Sunday was a very lazy start and it was gone 11 by the time we finally emerged from the hotel. Petticoat Lane and Spitalfields Market were on our agenda for the day and again we just wandered and chatted and enjoyed the experience of being totally on our own with no pressing responsibility that needed attending to. I ADORE these weekends away with my oldest and forever friend and I am so so grateful (as I have said a million times before) that my moving to England has restored our friendship to all it was in the past and more.
One of the amazing windows in the church
The choir singing a small snippet of the Beatles "She loves me" - Phil's current girlfriend is the little one to his right ;0)Straight after the performance I was off on the train up to London to meet Tanya for the night, we have been planning this trip for some time now and as always it was just wonderful to be together and walk and talk and eat and laugh. Saturday we spent wondering along the river before heading to our wonderful hotel near Trafalgar square, it was so cool to be totally without stress and responsibility, if we wanted to sit and drink coffee we did if we wanted to turn round and retrace our steps for some reason we did, most of the time neither one of us was really aware of where we were going as we had no destination in mind and just enjoyed being out in our favourite city together.
Searching for the nearest Macd0nalds for lunch :0)
One of literally 100's of elephants on display around the city in an attempt to raise money to protect the endangered Asian Elephant
Tanya signing into our hotel the lovely Thistle Royal Trafalgar
Saturday evening saw us taking the guided "Jack the Ripper" walk around the East End of London and it was such fun we have decided to include at least one walk in all our future trips....some of the accounts on this walk are a little gruesome but I have to confess to a certain macabre fascination to be actually standing on the spot were some of the poor victims were found. If you are interested find out more about this particular unsolved case at www.casebook.org it really is fascinating, you can read the actual witness transcripts and it has lots of information I have never heard before. After our walk we enjoyed a very leisurely dinner and a bottle of wine at Bella Italia (we needed it lol) and then head home for bed worn out but very relaxed.
Our guide near part of the original Roman wall at the beginning of our walk
Sunday was a very lazy start and it was gone 11 by the time we finally emerged from the hotel. Petticoat Lane and Spitalfields Market were on our agenda for the day and again we just wandered and chatted and enjoyed the experience of being totally on our own with no pressing responsibility that needed attending to. I ADORE these weekends away with my oldest and forever friend and I am so so grateful (as I have said a million times before) that my moving to England has restored our friendship to all it was in the past and more.
At St Pancras International Train Station at the end of a wonderful weekend
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
I have always felt I live in one of the prettiest parts of England, that is of course if you like the countryside which I do....we have lots of woods surrounding us and one HUGE advantage of living in the wealthy (and Conservative) South is the magnificent gardens.
Most of these gardens are managed by the National Trust and are open to the public for a nominal fee, I became an annual member of Wakehurst Place in Ardingly last year and decided to renew again this year as for £22 I can literally visit the gardens every day if the urge takes me. Today was one of those days, inspired by the bluebells in Blunts Wood yesterday Nicholas and I set off for a long walk after checking out a nursery for him early this morning.
Wakehurst Place is spectacular at this time of the year and I spent two hours wondering around enjoying the beauty nature serves up every spring in this country. While Nicholas slept peacefully in his pram I found my mind wandering aimlessly over many different topics and at one point while down amongst the bluebells I found myself to be deeply and truly happy - not the euphoric, excited, huge bubble kind of happy but rather a deep, quiet and somehow hugely significant kind of happy.....a contentment I don't know if I have ever felt before and it was good that it happened whilst I was alone, with no input from others, but totally at peace with myself.
What happened yesterday and what will come tomorrow (metaphorically speaking) had no significance at all, in those moments I let go all the guilt and the frustration and literally walked away from it, I have no doubt that they will return as that is human nature after all, and before long I will once again be confronted by my less than perfect self but for right then I was at peace with who I am and where I am and what I am doing for right now and it was a deeply spiritual moment for me. God's grace was all around me in the beauty of my surroundings and for that brief period of time I felt Him say "it is okay my child" and I believed.
Most of these gardens are managed by the National Trust and are open to the public for a nominal fee, I became an annual member of Wakehurst Place in Ardingly last year and decided to renew again this year as for £22 I can literally visit the gardens every day if the urge takes me. Today was one of those days, inspired by the bluebells in Blunts Wood yesterday Nicholas and I set off for a long walk after checking out a nursery for him early this morning.
Wakehurst Place is spectacular at this time of the year and I spent two hours wondering around enjoying the beauty nature serves up every spring in this country. While Nicholas slept peacefully in his pram I found my mind wandering aimlessly over many different topics and at one point while down amongst the bluebells I found myself to be deeply and truly happy - not the euphoric, excited, huge bubble kind of happy but rather a deep, quiet and somehow hugely significant kind of happy.....a contentment I don't know if I have ever felt before and it was good that it happened whilst I was alone, with no input from others, but totally at peace with myself.
What happened yesterday and what will come tomorrow (metaphorically speaking) had no significance at all, in those moments I let go all the guilt and the frustration and literally walked away from it, I have no doubt that they will return as that is human nature after all, and before long I will once again be confronted by my less than perfect self but for right then I was at peace with who I am and where I am and what I am doing for right now and it was a deeply spiritual moment for me. God's grace was all around me in the beauty of my surroundings and for that brief period of time I felt Him say "it is okay my child" and I believed.
Monday, 10 May 2010
Monday 10th May 2010
After visiting the dentist this morning I decided to take advantage of the warm weather and get Nick Nick out for an hour - he has been stuck at home for a week with his chicken pox and was in need of a little run. Remembering the bluebells that were promising to bloom while my mom was still here I decided the Blunts Wood was the perfect place for our little outing and I was right.
Nicholas had a ball running along the woodland paths and collecting sticks and watching noonoos. Blunts Wood is fast becoming one of my fav places as it is a HUGE wood where you literally don't see anyone but a couple of dog walkers, we can run and play and enjoy the outdoors which is always lovely.
The Bluebells didn't disappoint and the hills were literally covered with them, Nick had fun sitting in some of the smaller fields exploring the flowers while Mom took photos - so nice to be out in the sunshine doing something we both love so much....I am becoming a real walker since living in England and the many woods offer such lovely peaceful rambles that I think we are going to be spending a lot of time in them during the summer.
Nicholas had a ball running along the woodland paths and collecting sticks and watching noonoos. Blunts Wood is fast becoming one of my fav places as it is a HUGE wood where you literally don't see anyone but a couple of dog walkers, we can run and play and enjoy the outdoors which is always lovely.
The Bluebells didn't disappoint and the hills were literally covered with them, Nick had fun sitting in some of the smaller fields exploring the flowers while Mom took photos - so nice to be out in the sunshine doing something we both love so much....I am becoming a real walker since living in England and the many woods offer such lovely peaceful rambles that I think we are going to be spending a lot of time in them during the summer.
Saturday, 8 May 2010
Saturday 8th May 2010
Megan has had the opportunity at school to become a member of the Young Farmers Club, an organisation represented world wide by over 600 clubs and whose focus is agriculture and the countryside. Megs loves the good wholesome fun of the club and this weekend was involved in an agricultural show at Plumpton college where she entered a painting, novelty cake and flower arrangement for judging.
With her best friend - also a member of YFC
While both her cake and arrangement were placed (despite the fact that we read country not county and used South Africa as our theme for "My home County" lol) her painting stole the show and was placed first in it's category as well as being chosen to represent Mid Sussex at the South England Show in June - to say she was over the moon was the understatement of the century and both Simon and I were so so proud of her achievement....as with many things at school most of the entries had had a HUGE amount of parental "supervision" (read done by mom) and as that isn't my philosophy Megan had worked and now achieved totally on her own steam which made the victory all the sweeter.
Well done Megs you really are our super star!!!!
Very very early in the morning waiting for judging to begin....why is it ALWAYS Mom's job when early mornings are involved
With her best friend - also a member of YFC
While both her cake and arrangement were placed (despite the fact that we read country not county and used South Africa as our theme for "My home County" lol) her painting stole the show and was placed first in it's category as well as being chosen to represent Mid Sussex at the South England Show in June - to say she was over the moon was the understatement of the century and both Simon and I were so so proud of her achievement....as with many things at school most of the entries had had a HUGE amount of parental "supervision" (read done by mom) and as that isn't my philosophy Megan had worked and now achieved totally on her own steam which made the victory all the sweeter.
Well done Megs you really are our super star!!!!
The colours of my Life
I was reading a post on a new blog I have started following - Mommy Snark and she mentioned that her new baby has already added a vibrant colour to the fabric of their family and yup that was all I needed, my mind was flying, imagining what colours my own precious children bring to my life and this is the aftermath of those thoughts.
Megan is purple, a deep colour with different shades depending on the angles. Megan is my safe colour, my constant, she is the one I can trust to be deeply honest and although she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve I know her every thought as if it was my own. Megs can be light and playful like a mauve flower or she can be as deep as a huge thundercloud before an enormous and refreshing storm. The head of the siblings she takes her responsibility for her brothers very seriously, there is something solid, dependable and wonderful about Megs....to me definitely a rich and special perfect purple girl.
Phillip has to be yellow, his sunny disposition lights up any room and he is always ready with a joke or mad exercise to get a laugh. Always on the move and seldom still Phillip is my breath of fresh air, exasperating at times he reminds us all that life is to be lived and you can't do that if you aren't taking risks and pushing the boundaries constantly. Phillip lifts our family with his kind heart and compassionate nature, he is as warm as the sun on a hot summers day and as gentle as a yellow butterfly flitting amongst the flowers.....my super special yellow boy.
Nick Nick is for me blue, the colour of a gentle stream balming my soul in this chaotic world, making things right when all around is frantic and out of place, he is too young at this point to truly tell his personality, but I think that Nicholas will grow to be a strong and peaceful man, he already has an inner serenity that I have never seen before and there is something in him that draws others to him. Nicholas is the blue of a huge South African sky, open and wide with possibilities, my much longed for beautiful blue boy.
Megan is purple, a deep colour with different shades depending on the angles. Megan is my safe colour, my constant, she is the one I can trust to be deeply honest and although she doesn't wear her heart on her sleeve I know her every thought as if it was my own. Megs can be light and playful like a mauve flower or she can be as deep as a huge thundercloud before an enormous and refreshing storm. The head of the siblings she takes her responsibility for her brothers very seriously, there is something solid, dependable and wonderful about Megs....to me definitely a rich and special perfect purple girl.
Phillip has to be yellow, his sunny disposition lights up any room and he is always ready with a joke or mad exercise to get a laugh. Always on the move and seldom still Phillip is my breath of fresh air, exasperating at times he reminds us all that life is to be lived and you can't do that if you aren't taking risks and pushing the boundaries constantly. Phillip lifts our family with his kind heart and compassionate nature, he is as warm as the sun on a hot summers day and as gentle as a yellow butterfly flitting amongst the flowers.....my super special yellow boy.
Nick Nick is for me blue, the colour of a gentle stream balming my soul in this chaotic world, making things right when all around is frantic and out of place, he is too young at this point to truly tell his personality, but I think that Nicholas will grow to be a strong and peaceful man, he already has an inner serenity that I have never seen before and there is something in him that draws others to him. Nicholas is the blue of a huge South African sky, open and wide with possibilities, my much longed for beautiful blue boy.
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Wednesday 5th May 2010
Another week is well on it way in our sleepy little hamlet and I can't believe that in less than 3 weeks we will have been living here 2 full years.....As with this time last year, I find myself starting to reflect and again asking the question "If I had known what I know now would I have done it?"
The answer for me is this time not so easy......had I known the pain of missing my family and friends, the exhaustion of housekeeping 24/7 while raising a baby, the fear of the unknown and the stress of starting over again financially to be honest the answer would probably be NO.
Before you embark on a journey like ours NOTHING can prepare you for it, no number of blogs or conversations with people who have gone before, there is no way to imagine what it is like when you are desperately ill and hanging over the toilet while your infant sits at your feet and your husband tries to make his hour trip home, there is no way to describe the conflicting emotions as you say goodbye to your parents knowing you won't see them again for at very least 6 months.
There is only one way to prepare for this experience and that is to LIVE it and I think that is why God ensured that we had absolutely no idea what we are getting into before we started, or we may never have had the courage to begin.
All that said however, in the words of my wonderful and wise husband "I am so glad we didn't know because then we would have missed out". The rush of making it, of having a successful immigration is wonderful, the beautiful people we have met and grown to love along the way, the belief in ourselves that we have developed and the deep respect we now have for others that have gone before us have made us grow in ways we never imagined.
I now have two homes, the one of my birth and the one of my life, they are both beautiful beyond measure and without this experience I would never have learned to cherish the feeling of the spring sun after a long cold winter, the sight of squirrels running amongst the leaves collecting acorns to sustain their families when the weather turns harsh, the feeling of snow on my face and the wonder of a truly warm home in below freezing temperatures, the joy the sight of the first spring flowers can bring and the deep sense of satisfaction on a warm summer evening.
Without this experience I would never have truly known what a strong and capable woman my parents raised and I don't believe I would have ever reached my true potential. I am not saying that this journey is what every person needs to really feel alive, there are hundreds, no thousands of immigrants all over the world and from every country desperate to return home and I really do understand that, where a year ago I didn't......all I know is that for me (and my beautiful family) this has been RIGHT and despite all those very hard times it is WORTH it and we WOULD do it all again because although we now know the price we also finally understand the reward.
The answer for me is this time not so easy......had I known the pain of missing my family and friends, the exhaustion of housekeeping 24/7 while raising a baby, the fear of the unknown and the stress of starting over again financially to be honest the answer would probably be NO.
Before you embark on a journey like ours NOTHING can prepare you for it, no number of blogs or conversations with people who have gone before, there is no way to imagine what it is like when you are desperately ill and hanging over the toilet while your infant sits at your feet and your husband tries to make his hour trip home, there is no way to describe the conflicting emotions as you say goodbye to your parents knowing you won't see them again for at very least 6 months.
There is only one way to prepare for this experience and that is to LIVE it and I think that is why God ensured that we had absolutely no idea what we are getting into before we started, or we may never have had the courage to begin.
All that said however, in the words of my wonderful and wise husband "I am so glad we didn't know because then we would have missed out". The rush of making it, of having a successful immigration is wonderful, the beautiful people we have met and grown to love along the way, the belief in ourselves that we have developed and the deep respect we now have for others that have gone before us have made us grow in ways we never imagined.
I now have two homes, the one of my birth and the one of my life, they are both beautiful beyond measure and without this experience I would never have learned to cherish the feeling of the spring sun after a long cold winter, the sight of squirrels running amongst the leaves collecting acorns to sustain their families when the weather turns harsh, the feeling of snow on my face and the wonder of a truly warm home in below freezing temperatures, the joy the sight of the first spring flowers can bring and the deep sense of satisfaction on a warm summer evening.
Without this experience I would never have truly known what a strong and capable woman my parents raised and I don't believe I would have ever reached my true potential. I am not saying that this journey is what every person needs to really feel alive, there are hundreds, no thousands of immigrants all over the world and from every country desperate to return home and I really do understand that, where a year ago I didn't......all I know is that for me (and my beautiful family) this has been RIGHT and despite all those very hard times it is WORTH it and we WOULD do it all again because although we now know the price we also finally understand the reward.
Monday, 3 May 2010
Bank Holiday Weekend Friday 30th April - Monday 3rd May 2010
There are not many bank (public) holidays in England so when one comes along it is a real novelty and reason for celebration. We were lucky enough to be able to organise for "Team Andrew" to visit us from Weston Super-mare for this bank holiday weekend and as always it was stunning to have our friends in our home.
Cayne and the girls took time off work / school on Friday and so were able to take a slow drive down to us and arrived mid afternoon to much excitement and shrieking (South African's tend to be very noisy when they get together lol). Friday night was a chilled evening with snuggling on the couch and dvds for all the kiddies in Meggies bedroom - when you make a move like this friendships tend to transcend what I have experienced in the past and I can honestly say that the Andrew family is now part of ours and so it is a bit like cousins all getting together rather than mere friends when they visit.
Saturday we had arranged for two families that Cayne and Linda were close to in South Africa (and who now live near to us) to join us for a braai and although the weather wasn't as perfect as it has been recently there was much laughter and "South Africaniss" on our terrace all afternoon. All 11 children got on famously and it was a very special day making new friends and enjoying old. It felt good to share our experiences of immigration and commiserate on some of the really hard aspect......it would definitely seem that although this adventure is different and individual to every family there are distinct commonalities which we all go through and that really helps to leave you not feeling quite so alone.
Sunday morning was relaxed to the extreme due to the cold rainy weather outside and we literally vegged on the couches under blankies chatting and catching up before Sarah and her three children made the epic trip from Ascot to join us for tea and wonderful milk tart which she brought with her for us all to enjoy - again much laughter and the flavour of South Africa was strong in the house bringing a nice comforting feeling with it.
All too soon this morning arrived and after a fab fryup-a-la-Simon the Andrew family where back in the car and heading home. Tonight as I type my soul is restored and my "tank" refilled....these visits simply cannot be over overestimated in their ability to make this whole experience more bearable and I am so grateful that we have these wonderful friends in the country with us.
Thanks for a stunning weekend "Team Andrew" we miss you all!
Cayne and the girls took time off work / school on Friday and so were able to take a slow drive down to us and arrived mid afternoon to much excitement and shrieking (South African's tend to be very noisy when they get together lol). Friday night was a chilled evening with snuggling on the couch and dvds for all the kiddies in Meggies bedroom - when you make a move like this friendships tend to transcend what I have experienced in the past and I can honestly say that the Andrew family is now part of ours and so it is a bit like cousins all getting together rather than mere friends when they visit.
Saturday we had arranged for two families that Cayne and Linda were close to in South Africa (and who now live near to us) to join us for a braai and although the weather wasn't as perfect as it has been recently there was much laughter and "South Africaniss" on our terrace all afternoon. All 11 children got on famously and it was a very special day making new friends and enjoying old. It felt good to share our experiences of immigration and commiserate on some of the really hard aspect......it would definitely seem that although this adventure is different and individual to every family there are distinct commonalities which we all go through and that really helps to leave you not feeling quite so alone.
Angela, Gary, Justin, Lin, Amanda, Cayne, Me, Si
Sunday morning was relaxed to the extreme due to the cold rainy weather outside and we literally vegged on the couches under blankies chatting and catching up before Sarah and her three children made the epic trip from Ascot to join us for tea and wonderful milk tart which she brought with her for us all to enjoy - again much laughter and the flavour of South Africa was strong in the house bringing a nice comforting feeling with it.
All too soon this morning arrived and after a fab fryup-a-la-Simon the Andrew family where back in the car and heading home. Tonight as I type my soul is restored and my "tank" refilled....these visits simply cannot be over overestimated in their ability to make this whole experience more bearable and I am so grateful that we have these wonderful friends in the country with us.
Thanks for a stunning weekend "Team Andrew" we miss you all!
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