Taking time to reflect in life is essential, and finding those quiet times to just sit and "visit with yourself" are incredibly important, we all need to take stock of where we are and where we are going, and if we find that we are not on the path we want to be on then we need to take steps to change it.
That is what Simon and I did when we made the incredibly difficult decision to leave the country of our birth - we both love South Africa very much and moving away, although successful was never easy, I miss the sound of the waves, the feeling of your fresh washing crisp after a day in the boiling sun, the sound of lawnmowers and the smell of the grass after a huge thunderstorm, the taste of a Wimpy Cheeseburger and the special moments with my family and friends.
When people ask me if I would recommend a move like this I always suggest that they take the time to take stock of what they have, South Africa is a magnificent country and I don't think we always realise it when we are living there surrounded by the crime and the problems, but it is important to never forget that problems are everywhere, and although we love England and will never return to South Africa to live, our lives are not stress free and we encounter our own uphill battles on a daily basis.
My advice therefore to anyone struggling with this decision is to make sure that you are happy and successful where you are before you try to move, a place doesn't bring you happiness, that can only be found from within, the price you pay is very high and you must be sure that you are really willing to pay it.
As I sit and reflect I can't help but turn to Nicholas and his early arrival, I have questioned myself and doubted myself many time as to whether or not it was my fault that he was born early...but in keeping with my theory above, this in no longer a path I wish to be on, the bottom line is that he is now fine and beating myself up everyday is not going to change the fact that he was premature and I am now attempting to put my "best foot forward" and look only on what his early birth has given us - extra time with him and with my mother and I know that there was a reason for his early arrival, it may not be clear to me, but I have to have faith that it was for the best and will have no further implications in his life from this point forward.
As I said to a dear friend the other day, when God closes doors or sends you on a different path to what you expected, hold your faith close as he always has a design and it will become clear in the end, and so far our design has been a beautiful tapestry and I have to believe that it will continue to be so.
Thursday, 28 August 2008
28th August 2008
Today is Nicholas's due date....what a rollercoaster month we have had, but mom thinks she prefers it the way it is and doesn't think she would have enjoyed going through the whole labour again, and to be perfectly honest I agree with her....even though my boy was prem and tiny, he is doing so well now that it all seems like a dream.
Went down to the clinic this morning to have Nicholas weighed and to ask a few questions (7 years since the last baby is a long time and I have forgotten so much), he has gained 500 grams in the last 10 days and they are absolutely thrilled with his progress, he now weighs 3.54kgs and is the same weight as Megan was when she came home from hospital, so I am finally back in my comfort zone (sigh).
Went down to the clinic this morning to have Nicholas weighed and to ask a few questions (7 years since the last baby is a long time and I have forgotten so much), he has gained 500 grams in the last 10 days and they are absolutely thrilled with his progress, he now weighs 3.54kgs and is the same weight as Megan was when she came home from hospital, so I am finally back in my comfort zone (sigh).
Tuesday, 26 August 2008
The Changes in Nicholas
As we approach Nicholas's due date (28th August) it is amazing to see the changes in him.....he is more alert now and has gone from literally sleeping 23 hours a day to staying awake for short periods after his feed and enchanting his father, grandmother and siblings....me, he doesn't have to work so hard on, I am enchanted regardless.
Last night I was in the bath when Nicholas woke for his feed and Si had to go in to him and get nappy changed etc, once he had finished he carried Nick into the bathroom to see how much longer I would be, it was so sweet to see this tiny little boy curled up against his dad, and Si actually stopped for a bit to look in the mirror, definitely a strong bonding moment
He has started responding to our voices more now, and turns his head when you call his name, his eyes are still immature, but he is definitely tracking items if you hold them around 20cms from his face, he has also noticed his hands, but as they get closer to his face his eyes just squint more and more (lol). He is learning new sounds every day and is starting to "play" with his voice we are now all waiting with baited breath for his first real smile.
Last night I was in the bath when Nicholas woke for his feed and Si had to go in to him and get nappy changed etc, once he had finished he carried Nick into the bathroom to see how much longer I would be, it was so sweet to see this tiny little boy curled up against his dad, and Si actually stopped for a bit to look in the mirror, definitely a strong bonding moment
We have also noticed that Nicholas's normal baby reflexes are getting much stronger as he reaches his due date, he is now sleeping with his hands closed and grabs your finger when you place it in his hand. He is rooting more and I delight in his baby kisses when I hold him on my shoulder for winding. Speaking of which he has finally leaned to wind, it was amazing that his immature digestive system just wouldn't let those winds break for the first couple of weeks, but he is now becoming a champion "burper", and his dad and brother are very proud.
He has started responding to our voices more now, and turns his head when you call his name, his eyes are still immature, but he is definitely tracking items if you hold them around 20cms from his face, he has also noticed his hands, but as they get closer to his face his eyes just squint more and more (lol). He is learning new sounds every day and is starting to "play" with his voice we are now all waiting with baited breath for his first real smile.Monday, 25 August 2008
Monday 25th August 2008
This weekend has been a long weekend in England with today being the last of three bank holidays for the year....unlike SA we don't have a public holiday every second month here, so you must know how special a weekend like this one is.
Unfortunately the weather hasn't really played along (the locals are constantly moaning about this summer and the fact that it just hasn't happened....me I haven't found it bad at all, but I guess it is in the eye of the beholder), apart from Saturday which was lovely we have had a bit of a wet weekend and have been forced to spend a fair part of it inside, which as you know resulted in a visit to the movies yesterday afternoon.
As for today, today we shopped.....I have been talking to Simon about using our conservatory as a tv / children's lounge for a little while now (mom's genius idea), and with the arrival of the PSII he has finally agreed that our little lounge is just too small for all of us at once and the noise can become positively deafening at times, as any of you with children and PSII will understand.
It was generally agreed that all we needed to make the transition was a second tv and possibly a dvd player so today we went shopping for these two items and much to my utter amazement we came home with a 37 inch television and a new dvd player, I have truly never seen anything so big in my life, and what amazes me the most is that we could afford it out of one months salary, something we definitely wouldn't have been able to do in SA.
When I mentioned this fact to mom she very astutely commented that it is not that the items are that much cheaper here (this is in fact an expensive country to live in) it is the fact that we have more disposable income as we do not have to pay for things like school fees, medical aid, security, expensive insurance and staff salaries, and she is right. I guess if we had had that extra R7000 or so per month in SA it would have gone a long way towards the luxuries that we are able to afford in this country.
Unfortunately the weather hasn't really played along (the locals are constantly moaning about this summer and the fact that it just hasn't happened....me I haven't found it bad at all, but I guess it is in the eye of the beholder), apart from Saturday which was lovely we have had a bit of a wet weekend and have been forced to spend a fair part of it inside, which as you know resulted in a visit to the movies yesterday afternoon.
As for today, today we shopped.....I have been talking to Simon about using our conservatory as a tv / children's lounge for a little while now (mom's genius idea), and with the arrival of the PSII he has finally agreed that our little lounge is just too small for all of us at once and the noise can become positively deafening at times, as any of you with children and PSII will understand.
It was generally agreed that all we needed to make the transition was a second tv and possibly a dvd player so today we went shopping for these two items and much to my utter amazement we came home with a 37 inch television and a new dvd player, I have truly never seen anything so big in my life, and what amazes me the most is that we could afford it out of one months salary, something we definitely wouldn't have been able to do in SA.
When I mentioned this fact to mom she very astutely commented that it is not that the items are that much cheaper here (this is in fact an expensive country to live in) it is the fact that we have more disposable income as we do not have to pay for things like school fees, medical aid, security, expensive insurance and staff salaries, and she is right. I guess if we had had that extra R7000 or so per month in SA it would have gone a long way towards the luxuries that we are able to afford in this country.
Sunday, 24 August 2008
Mom's views on England
I decided to sit down and ask my mom what she thinks and feels about our new home, she isn't able to comment on England as a whole as we have been so busy with Nicholas that she hasn't seen an awful lot of it this time, but I was intensely interested to hear her impressions of our little piece of it.
I was pleased to hear that her first impression of our house is that it is not nearly as small as she expected and is in fact not that much smaller then what we had at Stoney Hill Lane. The kitchen is definitely bigger, and she has loved cooking on gas while looking out over our neighbours rose bushes and using it as a good excuse to see what the local community are up to. The arrival of the milk truck on local delivery always entances her. Can't say she thinks much of the ironing and is definitely not returning to SA to retrench Rose and buy herself a steam press, but she has admitted that the houses here seem easier to keep clean and we have been working really well together over the last couple of weeks.
Walking on her own to the village has been a highlight for her as she hates driving in South Africa and the freedom offered by public transport or simply walking has been a delight for her. Although she is by no means a neurotic in SA, and certainly doesn't spend her life looking over her shoulder, she hasn't told me once to wind up my window or not go out at night and I think that has been quite a pleasant novelty for her. If driving in SA is a nightmare, she has adamantly declared that she would never drive on these ridiculous country lanes, so I guess it is a good thing that Nicky was born early and she never has to do the school run.
Shopping has also presented many differences to South Africa, the shops are more frenetic and her and Nicholas would rather sit in the car then fight with the snooty Sainsbury housewives...according to mom, the meat here is excellent, especially the pork, and not at all what she had expected and the general cost of living is not bad as long as you don't convert it to rands.
When I do get her into the shops, she is still not ready to leave her bag in the shopping barrow when she turns to reach for an item and spends her time lifting it out and clutching it under her arm everytime she turns around much to the amusement of the local shoppers....guess once a South African always a South African. Her anxiety levels were also a little raised the other night when Simon attended a football match in London and only returned on the 23h00 train, she insisted that we wait up for him in case his bicycle had been stolen from the station and we needed to go and fetch him....she hasn't stopped commenting on the fact that the bike was still there and that Si could cycle home at nearly midnight with absolutely no worry.
As a gardener, she has been in raptures over the countryside and lovely English gardens, and her and Meggie spend many happy times wondering around enjoying the sights. All in all, I think this has been a great experience for her and she can go home knowing that we have made the right decision and are living in the best possible place for us.
I was pleased to hear that her first impression of our house is that it is not nearly as small as she expected and is in fact not that much smaller then what we had at Stoney Hill Lane. The kitchen is definitely bigger, and she has loved cooking on gas while looking out over our neighbours rose bushes and using it as a good excuse to see what the local community are up to. The arrival of the milk truck on local delivery always entances her. Can't say she thinks much of the ironing and is definitely not returning to SA to retrench Rose and buy herself a steam press, but she has admitted that the houses here seem easier to keep clean and we have been working really well together over the last couple of weeks.
Walking on her own to the village has been a highlight for her as she hates driving in South Africa and the freedom offered by public transport or simply walking has been a delight for her. Although she is by no means a neurotic in SA, and certainly doesn't spend her life looking over her shoulder, she hasn't told me once to wind up my window or not go out at night and I think that has been quite a pleasant novelty for her. If driving in SA is a nightmare, she has adamantly declared that she would never drive on these ridiculous country lanes, so I guess it is a good thing that Nicky was born early and she never has to do the school run.
Shopping has also presented many differences to South Africa, the shops are more frenetic and her and Nicholas would rather sit in the car then fight with the snooty Sainsbury housewives...according to mom, the meat here is excellent, especially the pork, and not at all what she had expected and the general cost of living is not bad as long as you don't convert it to rands.
When I do get her into the shops, she is still not ready to leave her bag in the shopping barrow when she turns to reach for an item and spends her time lifting it out and clutching it under her arm everytime she turns around much to the amusement of the local shoppers....guess once a South African always a South African. Her anxiety levels were also a little raised the other night when Simon attended a football match in London and only returned on the 23h00 train, she insisted that we wait up for him in case his bicycle had been stolen from the station and we needed to go and fetch him....she hasn't stopped commenting on the fact that the bike was still there and that Si could cycle home at nearly midnight with absolutely no worry.
As a gardener, she has been in raptures over the countryside and lovely English gardens, and her and Meggie spend many happy times wondering around enjoying the sights. All in all, I think this has been a great experience for her and she can go home knowing that we have made the right decision and are living in the best possible place for us.
Sunday 24th August 2008
Three months ago today I set off from South Africa not really sure what life would be like, but hopeful that we could make a go of this enormous move.....now I am here and feel like it has been my home forever. South Africa feels so far away and even my mom has commented on how settled we seem in such a short time.
We love our home and have decided to extend the lease for another 6 months at least and will make a decision on whether or not to buy once we return from South Africa in April, having hopefully sold our property there and with better idea of exactly what area we want to live in here - the South East of England is such an incredibly beautiful area that we are really spoilt for choice, but want to make the best decision as far as schools etc are concerned.
We have made wonderful friends in Robert, Kerry and their family and my relationship with Tanya is once again as it was 10 years ago, and of course the big bonus is Linny, Cayne and the girls just a couple of hours away. I have also been overwhelmed by the kindness and support that we have experience from relative strangers through the birth of Nicholas, and my cupboard is literally brimming with beautiful gifts that have been given to us.
Off to Crawley this afternoon to the cinemaplex there to watch Mama Mia with Mom, Megan, Kerry and Donay....have been wanting to see this movie forever, I mean Pierce Brosnan and Colin Firth in one movie, what more can I say. Si and Phil off to see the new animated Star Wars so a good afternoon all round. Stew already prepared and simmering in the slow cooker ready for our return.
We love our home and have decided to extend the lease for another 6 months at least and will make a decision on whether or not to buy once we return from South Africa in April, having hopefully sold our property there and with better idea of exactly what area we want to live in here - the South East of England is such an incredibly beautiful area that we are really spoilt for choice, but want to make the best decision as far as schools etc are concerned.
We have made wonderful friends in Robert, Kerry and their family and my relationship with Tanya is once again as it was 10 years ago, and of course the big bonus is Linny, Cayne and the girls just a couple of hours away. I have also been overwhelmed by the kindness and support that we have experience from relative strangers through the birth of Nicholas, and my cupboard is literally brimming with beautiful gifts that have been given to us.
Off to Crawley this afternoon to the cinemaplex there to watch Mama Mia with Mom, Megan, Kerry and Donay....have been wanting to see this movie forever, I mean Pierce Brosnan and Colin Firth in one movie, what more can I say. Si and Phil off to see the new animated Star Wars so a good afternoon all round. Stew already prepared and simmering in the slow cooker ready for our return.
Saturday, 23 August 2008
Saturday 23rd August 2008
Today my mom should have been arriving in the UK for the birth of our precious baby....isn't it amazing how life has changed so dramatically in the last month. On Friday, Nicholas will be 1 month old and is growing beautifully, he is now taking his antibiotic without too much fuss and is scheduled for his kidney ultrasound on 4th September - the medical care that we have received in this country so far has been a true blessing and sometimes when I think about what this all would have cost if we had still been in South Africa, it makes me shudder.....life certainly isn't perfect here but I have discovered through this whole process that if you choose to count your blessings wherever and whenever you find them and be grateful for what you have, you can find your peace and ultimately be happy.
With that in mind, we have been on a few outings this week and I am starting to feel more confident about taking Nicholas out. Today we originally had plans to explore Ardingly Reservoir just up the road from us as a closer outing means that we can head home if Nick starts to get fussy but during breakfast Kerry phoned to invite us all to a picnic at Bedelands Nature Reserve in Burgess Hill and as we so enjoy spending time with this wonderful family, it was a no brainer and off we went.
After a lovely walk and picnic lunch near the pond, both families indulge in a game of cricket in a nearby field before heading home to a lazy afternoon and delicious roast pork cooked in our new webber. Life really is sweet!!!!!
This week has simply flown by in a blur of feeding and dirty nappies...the only difference is that this time round I don't feel like I have to be "supermom" and am more accepting of it, even the sleepless nights, and believe me this boy doesn't sleep at night....I think I have waited for this baby for so long that this time round I have less to prove and am quite content to just sit for hours letting my baby dummy and if I am still in my jarmies at 14h00 I just accept it and move on.
Having said that however, I have found myself stressed at times and ready to beat myself up about the fact that Nicholas has an infection and was born preterm - it was words from my mother the other day that really put things into perspective and I am now trying to step back and enjoy this precious bundle.
We were sitting on my bed when my mom asked me how old my babies are when I really start to enjoy them and I suddenly realised that although I am so so grateful for Nicholas I spend a tremendous amount of time worry about him rather then celebrating him, so my new resolution is to let go of what has been and enjoy every single second with Nicholas and not count down the days until he is 5 months old and less vulnerable.
We were sitting on my bed when my mom asked me how old my babies are when I really start to enjoy them and I suddenly realised that although I am so so grateful for Nicholas I spend a tremendous amount of time worry about him rather then celebrating him, so my new resolution is to let go of what has been and enjoy every single second with Nicholas and not count down the days until he is 5 months old and less vulnerable.
With that in mind, we have been on a few outings this week and I am starting to feel more confident about taking Nicholas out. Today we originally had plans to explore Ardingly Reservoir just up the road from us as a closer outing means that we can head home if Nick starts to get fussy but during breakfast Kerry phoned to invite us all to a picnic at Bedelands Nature Reserve in Burgess Hill and as we so enjoy spending time with this wonderful family, it was a no brainer and off we went.After a lovely walk and picnic lunch near the pond, both families indulge in a game of cricket in a nearby field before heading home to a lazy afternoon and delicious roast pork cooked in our new webber. Life really is sweet!!!!!
Wednesday, 20 August 2008
Wednesday 20th August 2008
Megan is home at last and I feel like my family is complete.....must be honest I am not mad about sleepovers, I like to have all my chickens in the nest before bedtime so that I know that they are all safe and sound.
We are having a lovely "art and craft" morning, Phillip is in the kitchen making "spoon puppets" and granny is teaching Megan how to make "corn dolls" out of wool....a couple of weeks ago Megan started making pom poms and she now has a stunning collection which we are going to use to make little Nicholas a mobile. Now she is on to these lovely little dolls and it is just so nice to have a fun day at home together. Both the older children have been absolutely stunning about the birth of Nicholas and that behaviour coupled with awesome reports has resulted in Simon giving us permission to go out and buy a Playstation II for the family, so that is our outing for this afternoon....there is a awesome shop in Haywards Heath which sells reconditioned playstations for the equivalent of about R450 with 4 games so tonight will be "playstation and pizza night".
Nicholas started his antibiotics this morning and his first reaction was to spit it out......I had forgotten just how difficult it is to get a baby to swallow muti, and it took much blowing and coaxing and laughing from Mom at his expressions to get the precious 1ml into his system - and I have to do this once a day for a month......now the trials begin.
I have spoken to my Health Care Worker Margaret on the phone this morning about Nick and this infection and I must admit I am feeling much better, had a bit of a wobbly last night, but now that I understand a bit more, and that in her opinion the hospital is just being very cautious due to his "very traumatic start" (her words not mine) and that he is not sick I am feeling a bit more stable - bit worried about how I am going to get on once my mom goes as her and Simon are my rocks at the moment and keep me distracted, but I guess Nicky will be over a month old by then and I will be feeling a little more confident...it is not that I am battling at this stage, just more that I don't have time to dwell on the little things and as a result don't have time to get myself into a state, and as a result my state of mind is good at the moment - but like mom keeps saying, lets cross that bridge when we get to it and not loose today worrying about tomorrow!!!!!
We are having a lovely "art and craft" morning, Phillip is in the kitchen making "spoon puppets" and granny is teaching Megan how to make "corn dolls" out of wool....a couple of weeks ago Megan started making pom poms and she now has a stunning collection which we are going to use to make little Nicholas a mobile. Now she is on to these lovely little dolls and it is just so nice to have a fun day at home together. Both the older children have been absolutely stunning about the birth of Nicholas and that behaviour coupled with awesome reports has resulted in Simon giving us permission to go out and buy a Playstation II for the family, so that is our outing for this afternoon....there is a awesome shop in Haywards Heath which sells reconditioned playstations for the equivalent of about R450 with 4 games so tonight will be "playstation and pizza night".
Nicholas started his antibiotics this morning and his first reaction was to spit it out......I had forgotten just how difficult it is to get a baby to swallow muti, and it took much blowing and coaxing and laughing from Mom at his expressions to get the precious 1ml into his system - and I have to do this once a day for a month......now the trials begin.
I have spoken to my Health Care Worker Margaret on the phone this morning about Nick and this infection and I must admit I am feeling much better, had a bit of a wobbly last night, but now that I understand a bit more, and that in her opinion the hospital is just being very cautious due to his "very traumatic start" (her words not mine) and that he is not sick I am feeling a bit more stable - bit worried about how I am going to get on once my mom goes as her and Simon are my rocks at the moment and keep me distracted, but I guess Nicky will be over a month old by then and I will be feeling a little more confident...it is not that I am battling at this stage, just more that I don't have time to dwell on the little things and as a result don't have time to get myself into a state, and as a result my state of mind is good at the moment - but like mom keeps saying, lets cross that bridge when we get to it and not loose today worrying about tomorrow!!!!!
Tuesday, 19 August 2008
Tuesday 19th August 2008
A very lazy day today, only got out of bed after 08h30 and then stayed in my pjs until around 12 when I frantically had a shower and got myself dressed before Megan's friends mom came to fetch her for the day.....it never ceases to amaze me that although on the surface you don't seem to be doing anything the day just disappears when you have a little one in your life.
Received a phone call from the doctor's rooms at around midday to let us know that one of Nicholas's tests has come back as positive for a urinary tract infection so he is starting some antibiotics in the morning - enough to reduce his mother to tears I have to tell you, but I am grateful at the same time that none of the more sinister tests have come back positive.
Mom, Phillip, Nick and I are home alone tonight as Simon has joined some guys from work for the Australia vs South Africa football match (never watched Bafana Bafana when we lived in SA, but what can you do lol) and Megan is out on a sleepover so it has been scrambled eggs on toast for dinner and chick flicks for entertainment.
Received a phone call from the doctor's rooms at around midday to let us know that one of Nicholas's tests has come back as positive for a urinary tract infection so he is starting some antibiotics in the morning - enough to reduce his mother to tears I have to tell you, but I am grateful at the same time that none of the more sinister tests have come back positive.
Mom, Phillip, Nick and I are home alone tonight as Simon has joined some guys from work for the Australia vs South Africa football match (never watched Bafana Bafana when we lived in SA, but what can you do lol) and Megan is out on a sleepover so it has been scrambled eggs on toast for dinner and chick flicks for entertainment.
Monday 18th August 2008
Nicholas had his check up with the Health Care Worker this morning and has gained another 300g or so and is now 3.06kgs, as a result they have signed him off and I will only see her again in about a month. His length is 51cm and his head circ is 34cm so it will be interesting to see how those change over the next couple of weeks, there is a local clinic within walking distance of home where I can take him once a week to be weighed, measured etc if I want to, which knowing me I will probably do religiously until his is a little bigger.
Monday, 18 August 2008
Weekend of 16th/17th August 2008
Now that Nicholas has been given the all clear health wise, we were keen to show Mom a bit of this lovely country and didn't need too much excuse to hit the South African shop in Newhaven on the south east coast of England near Eastbourne.
On the way down, I asked the children which of their hearts delights they would like to buy, and Megan quickly responded with Oros and Jelly, and after a moment, Phil came back with the answer "Dominic".....I must be honest I felt sad for a bit hearing this, it still amazes me what a strong friendship those two little boys shared and it is one of my very few regrets about moving country that they won't get to grow up together.
We shopped ourselves stupid and left the shop armed with 1 packet of traditional Nik Naks (my choice), 2 x fruit and chutney Nik Naks (Phillip and Simon's choice), 1 x fruit and chutney Simba chips (can you see we are deprived of decent chips here lol), biltong, dry wors, boerewors, 6 pack of Fanta orange, 6 pack of Fanta grape, 1 bottle Cross and Blackwell Tangy Mayonnaise (you have no idea how disgusting the mayo is), 2 boxes of Ouma rusks (for Phillip and me), a bottle of Oros, 3 packets of tennis biscuits, 1 x tin caramel treat and 2 peppermint crisps (no prizes for guessing what we are going to make with those ingredients); various chocolate bars, some fizpops (red for me, green for meg and blue for Philly), a box of Chocits and a tray of Koeksisters.
You don't even want to know what that little shop cost, but suffice to say I could have fed my family for over a week on the equivalent. Mom and Si decided that it might be nice to buy a bottle of Richlieu Brandy to share of an evening, but at over £22 (R330), decided that it was just a bit too excessive and no brandy in the world would be that good - they have settled for a nice bottle for French brandy at £12 for a 750ml bottle.
Having finished shopping we decided to carry on along the coast to a well known landmark called Beachyhead, the highest set of chalk cliffs in England, and have a picnic.....a good old fashioned South African picnic!!!! Well on our arrival, I will confess to being a being a little startled by the volume of cars, but having visited a couple of well known English tourist spots during the summer I resigned myself to once again sharing the experience with a 1000 strangers and started to unpack the car.....while doing this I overheard the man in the vehicle next to us comment to his wife that the Red Arrow display that afternoon should be really spectacular.
This didn't mean a lot to me (although it did explain the hundreds of cars), but knowing my mom and her passion for jets I knew that this would be the best news in the world for her and I was right, she sat on the slopes of the hill in absolute raptures as we watched the best jet aerobatics team in the world perform and ate all kinds of lovely treats from South Africa. Turned out we had happened upon the Eastbourne Airshow and while Simon and the children scampered around down the hill to explore, Mom, Nicholas and I enjoyed the summer afternoon and watching some great aerobatic feats performed absolutely free of charge.
Having finished our picnic, we decided that perhaps we should actually try and find the cliffs and famous lighthouse that had originally drawn us to the area...what a beautiful sight, although a little bit high for me and my nerves were absolutely shattered by Phillip's intense interest in the unprotected edge and throwing stones down into the ocean below.
Mom didn't enjoy the site as much, and I must admit I do agree with her in some respects....Beachyhead is one of the most popular suicide sites in England and the cliffs are dotted with crosses in respect of people who have lost their lives and there is a chaplain based there permanently to help these poor desperate people, Mom just found this too sad and her and Megan ended up sitting on a little bench enjoying the view in the opposite direction.
Sunday 17th started with a church service at the local Church of England and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed myself and found the minister to be exceptionally dynamic and really spoke to me, we will definitely be returning next weekend as Simon and the children were also in agreement.
After the service we took a slow wonder home through the village, and enjoyed the lovely morning and the fact that we are close enough to walk to church. The afternoon was filled with a stunning braai with Rob, Kerry and their children and we relished boerewors and chicken pieces on a real charcoal braai with potato salad made with Cross and Blackwell Mayonnaise and washed down with Fanta Grape....a day filled with lots and lots of laughter and good company, the perfect way to finish the weekend!!!!
On the way down, I asked the children which of their hearts delights they would like to buy, and Megan quickly responded with Oros and Jelly, and after a moment, Phil came back with the answer "Dominic".....I must be honest I felt sad for a bit hearing this, it still amazes me what a strong friendship those two little boys shared and it is one of my very few regrets about moving country that they won't get to grow up together.
Standing in Susman's was a bit of a surreal experience for me, when confronted with so many "home comforts" like Ouma Rusks and Nik Naks, I didn't actually know where to begin - it was amazing to watch other South Africans and Zimbabweans literally going crazy over the products and one thing is for sure, the owner of that business is making an absolute fortune - Simon and I even had a fleeting thought of opening up one ourselves, but then I sat down and the feeling went away (lol)...far too much stress.
We shopped ourselves stupid and left the shop armed with 1 packet of traditional Nik Naks (my choice), 2 x fruit and chutney Nik Naks (Phillip and Simon's choice), 1 x fruit and chutney Simba chips (can you see we are deprived of decent chips here lol), biltong, dry wors, boerewors, 6 pack of Fanta orange, 6 pack of Fanta grape, 1 bottle Cross and Blackwell Tangy Mayonnaise (you have no idea how disgusting the mayo is), 2 boxes of Ouma rusks (for Phillip and me), a bottle of Oros, 3 packets of tennis biscuits, 1 x tin caramel treat and 2 peppermint crisps (no prizes for guessing what we are going to make with those ingredients); various chocolate bars, some fizpops (red for me, green for meg and blue for Philly), a box of Chocits and a tray of Koeksisters.
You don't even want to know what that little shop cost, but suffice to say I could have fed my family for over a week on the equivalent. Mom and Si decided that it might be nice to buy a bottle of Richlieu Brandy to share of an evening, but at over £22 (R330), decided that it was just a bit too excessive and no brandy in the world would be that good - they have settled for a nice bottle for French brandy at £12 for a 750ml bottle.
Having finished shopping we decided to carry on along the coast to a well known landmark called Beachyhead, the highest set of chalk cliffs in England, and have a picnic.....a good old fashioned South African picnic!!!! Well on our arrival, I will confess to being a being a little startled by the volume of cars, but having visited a couple of well known English tourist spots during the summer I resigned myself to once again sharing the experience with a 1000 strangers and started to unpack the car.....while doing this I overheard the man in the vehicle next to us comment to his wife that the Red Arrow display that afternoon should be really spectacular.
This didn't mean a lot to me (although it did explain the hundreds of cars), but knowing my mom and her passion for jets I knew that this would be the best news in the world for her and I was right, she sat on the slopes of the hill in absolute raptures as we watched the best jet aerobatics team in the world perform and ate all kinds of lovely treats from South Africa. Turned out we had happened upon the Eastbourne Airshow and while Simon and the children scampered around down the hill to explore, Mom, Nicholas and I enjoyed the summer afternoon and watching some great aerobatic feats performed absolutely free of charge.
Having finished our picnic, we decided that perhaps we should actually try and find the cliffs and famous lighthouse that had originally drawn us to the area...what a beautiful sight, although a little bit high for me and my nerves were absolutely shattered by Phillip's intense interest in the unprotected edge and throwing stones down into the ocean below.
Mom didn't enjoy the site as much, and I must admit I do agree with her in some respects....Beachyhead is one of the most popular suicide sites in England and the cliffs are dotted with crosses in respect of people who have lost their lives and there is a chaplain based there permanently to help these poor desperate people, Mom just found this too sad and her and Megan ended up sitting on a little bench enjoying the view in the opposite direction.
Sunday 17th started with a church service at the local Church of England and I must say I thoroughly enjoyed myself and found the minister to be exceptionally dynamic and really spoke to me, we will definitely be returning next weekend as Simon and the children were also in agreement.After the service we took a slow wonder home through the village, and enjoyed the lovely morning and the fact that we are close enough to walk to church. The afternoon was filled with a stunning braai with Rob, Kerry and their children and we relished boerewors and chicken pieces on a real charcoal braai with potato salad made with Cross and Blackwell Mayonnaise and washed down with Fanta Grape....a day filled with lots and lots of laughter and good company, the perfect way to finish the weekend!!!!
Sunday, 17 August 2008
Friday 15th August 2008
This morning the weather was nice and clear (something we haven't seen for a while) and mom and I decided to take the opportunity to get out and visit one of the beautiful gardens nearby, which mom has been wanting to see on advice from my Aunt Fay.
Forgetting that the days start here really really slowly, we were out and waiting at the gates of Borde Hill Gardens by just after 09h30 only to discover that they (along with most of the businesses in Lindfield) only open at 10h00 - I must give my children credit where it is due and they were exceptionally patient, especially considering the fact that they could see the most awesome playground just beyond their reach (lol)
Forgetting that the days start here really really slowly, we were out and waiting at the gates of Borde Hill Gardens by just after 09h30 only to discover that they (along with most of the businesses in Lindfield) only open at 10h00 - I must give my children credit where it is due and they were exceptionally patient, especially considering the fact that they could see the most awesome playground just beyond their reach (lol)
Borde Hill Gardens is set in 200 acres of parkland and was developed approximately 100 years ago when Colonel Stephenson Clarke returned from expeditions around the world bringing many rare trees and shrubs back with him. The buildings and gardens are a grade 2 listed building and the manor house was absolutely spectacular....Megan counted a total of 26 chimneys.
The children spent many happy hours searching for daisies in their "daisy chain" and trying to earn the free ice cream at the end of the hunt, and Mom and I just enjoyed wondering around in the lovely sunshine and spectacular setting.
Mom finished the day off with another walk into Lindfield to collect her asthma pump, I think she is loving the freedom of not having to drive and yet still be able to get from A to B without difficulty. On that topic, I need to "document" her experience yesterday with the NHS.
Although mom bought a number of asthma pumps with her, it became apparent on around Tuesday that she was possibly not going to have enough to see her through the remainder of her stay so after a conversation with my dad debating whether or not he should just send her another one via post or whether we should try and get one here, it was decided that she should just book an appointment with our GP and obtain the necessary script in order to buy her pump.
Although mom bought a number of asthma pumps with her, it became apparent on around Tuesday that she was possibly not going to have enough to see her through the remainder of her stay so after a conversation with my dad debating whether or not he should just send her another one via post or whether we should try and get one here, it was decided that she should just book an appointment with our GP and obtain the necessary script in order to buy her pump.
Having seen the doctor and explaining her situation, mom left the rooms with her script and on reaching reception asked how much she needed to pay for the appointment, only to be met with a strange look from the lady behind reception who said if the doctor hadn't given her a bill there was no charge....to this my mom again explained that she is not resident in the UK but visiting from SA and the receptionist (looking even more bemused at this stage) patiently explained that if the doctor didn't say so then there was no charge for the appointment.
Well my mom was totally blown away and left the doctor's rooms terribly impressed with the NHS and the fact that even as a visitor she had been able to benefit from it......this however is not where the story ends, on arriving at the pharmacy, mom handed in her script and asked the cost of the pump only to hear that due to the fact that she is over 60 there was no charge for the pump, again she explained that she is not a UK resident and only visiting from SA and again she was met by a bemused expression and an explanation that no one over the age of 60 pays for any medication in this country, and to top it all off she was given an asthma pump here that medical aid has refused to pay for in SA for the last 10 years due to its high cost - needless to say, my mother is in love with England and thinks this country is too good to be true (lol).
Well my mom was totally blown away and left the doctor's rooms terribly impressed with the NHS and the fact that even as a visitor she had been able to benefit from it......this however is not where the story ends, on arriving at the pharmacy, mom handed in her script and asked the cost of the pump only to hear that due to the fact that she is over 60 there was no charge for the pump, again she explained that she is not a UK resident and only visiting from SA and again she was met by a bemused expression and an explanation that no one over the age of 60 pays for any medication in this country, and to top it all off she was given an asthma pump here that medical aid has refused to pay for in SA for the last 10 years due to its high cost - needless to say, my mother is in love with England and thinks this country is too good to be true (lol).
Wednesday, 13 August 2008
Wednesday 13th August 2008
Every now and then I have an experience in this country which really re-enforces my already high opinion, and makes me realise again what a very civilised and organised country this actually is.....this morning I had an appointment at the registrars office in Haywards Heath at 10h30 to register Nicholas's birth.
I arrived at 10h28 and was ushered straight into an office (no queues AT ALL) with one of the nicest ladies I have encountered here, she was helpful, articulate and efficient and at the end of my 20 minute appointment I walked away with both Nicholas's abridged and long birth certificates in my hand, no waiting, no frustration, and all for the sum of £3.50.
Another exciting development is that it would seem that due to the fact that Simon and I are resident in this country until at least 2013, Nicholas is automatically a British citizen and I will be applying for his passport later in the month....if that goes through without a hitch it will be a huge bonus especially as I had visions of once again having to deal with South African Home Affairs to sort out passports etc before our visit in April.
From there the day just kept getting better and Nicholas was finally given the all clear at our hospital appointment this afternoon, his billyruben levels have finally started to drop on their own and the doctors are prepared to sign him off as totally healthy and he no longer has to visit them for follow up appointments. This has to be the best news yet, and it was with great relief that I left the SCBU for the final time, I must admit I was a bit sad to say goodbye to some of the nursing staff but will be absolutely delighted if I never have to see them again.
Megan and Phillip spent a lovely day with Kerry and her children and would you believe that Phillip left his new trainers in the park and when we went back to look for them 4 hours later, they were still there......yet another reason to celebrate our move.
I arrived at 10h28 and was ushered straight into an office (no queues AT ALL) with one of the nicest ladies I have encountered here, she was helpful, articulate and efficient and at the end of my 20 minute appointment I walked away with both Nicholas's abridged and long birth certificates in my hand, no waiting, no frustration, and all for the sum of £3.50.
Another exciting development is that it would seem that due to the fact that Simon and I are resident in this country until at least 2013, Nicholas is automatically a British citizen and I will be applying for his passport later in the month....if that goes through without a hitch it will be a huge bonus especially as I had visions of once again having to deal with South African Home Affairs to sort out passports etc before our visit in April.
From there the day just kept getting better and Nicholas was finally given the all clear at our hospital appointment this afternoon, his billyruben levels have finally started to drop on their own and the doctors are prepared to sign him off as totally healthy and he no longer has to visit them for follow up appointments. This has to be the best news yet, and it was with great relief that I left the SCBU for the final time, I must admit I was a bit sad to say goodbye to some of the nursing staff but will be absolutely delighted if I never have to see them again.
Megan and Phillip spent a lovely day with Kerry and her children and would you believe that Phillip left his new trainers in the park and when we went back to look for them 4 hours later, they were still there......yet another reason to celebrate our move.
Tuesday, 12 August 2008
Tuesday 12th August 2008
Another terrible night, Nicholas has already decided that he is a home babe and decided to make me pay for my trip to Burgess Hill yesterday......I eventually ended up sleeping on the floor next to him on his changing mat as that is the only place he would settle and we could get some sleep - think my dh was a bit shocked when he came in in the morning to find me snuggled in the foetal position on the floor at the end of my bed (lol).
Speaking of the trip to Burgess Hill, I have a confession to make........it has clearly been a long time since I was mom of a tiny baby, once we had done the trip and arrived in town I realised that I had gone out and left the nappy bag in the hall cupboard complete with dummy, nappies and other essentials. As if that wasn't enough, I removed my lovely graco pram from the boot and then spent literally 10 minutes looking at it trying to work out how the hell to get it open....finally succeeded and Nicholas spent a happy hour being pushed around and then a not so happy 10 minutes in the car while my mother and I BOTH worked on getting the pram closed (lol) , you should have seen the bemused looks of the seasoned English mothers as they drove past these two mad South Africans cursing and swearing at the pram and finally trying to make it fit into the boot still open (lol). Needless to say we finally managed to close the pram and headed home.
As for today, had a lovely slow morning and then a wonderful visit from Linda, Cayne, Caylin and Jordan......so lovely to be able to show them my little boy and Nicholas's first fairy godmother was smitten within minutes and even got to enjoy a little cuddle after feed time. After the Andrew's departure, it was just time to tidy up and our health care worker arrived for our first appointment.
Now this is something totally foreign to me, once a week for the next 6 or so weeks Margaret will come and visit Nicholas and I at home and weigh him and just check that he is generally doing okay and keep an eye on me and watch for any signs of depression etc, almost exactly the same as having the clinic come to you, they don't do the immunisations however, those are done by the gp on a very similar schedule to SA. Nicholas has put on another 72 grams since Sunday so all in all we are very pleased with his progress and once again I have been blessed with more then sufficient breast milk. Off to register his birth in the morning and then another hospital appointment to check those jaundice levels in the afternoon.Granny is loving her third grandchild and although both her and Simon tell me they have to beg to hold him, she is getting cuddle time and I think I am going to have to check her suitcase when she leaves to make sure she isn't smuggling him back.
Monday, 11 August 2008
Friday 8th - Monday 11th August 2008
Having Nicholas at home has been wonderful, I feel better already and am starting to settle into the routine of having a new baby in the house......having my mom here has been an absolute god send and we are sharing the cooking and housework on about a 70/30 split (70 to her and 30 to me lol) which is helping me to walk before I have to run (lol).
The first night home was absolutely horrific and I spent much of the night wishing I could just go back into hospital....I think Nicholas was just very unsettled and with all the new sights and sounds he just couldn't switch off and go to sleep, by 03h00 I was exhausted with no milk left and leaning over the side of his crib crying while he sucked on my finger for an hour. I am delighted to say that things have improved considerably, and Simon was actually able to sleep in our room for the first time last (Sunday) night.
Saturday passed in a blur of dirty nappies and breastfeeding (I am sure all you moms out of there remember those days), I did manage to get out of my pajamas, but only just (lol). Sunday was Nicholas' first bath day and after the initial shock of finding himself undressed and back in warm liquid, he settled down and really started to enjoy himself. We have a wonderful conservatory on the front of our house which is an absolute sun trap and Nicholas and I spent some quality time (with a camera of course) enjoying the warmth and exposing his little "yellow" skin the to sun's healing (but filtered) rays.
14h30 was appointment time at the hospital and although Nicholas's jaundice levels still have not dropped since he left hospital, at least they haven't risen and he has been able to maintain without the lights. I confessed to being a little worried and freaked out, but my logical and calm husband and mother have been talking me through it and I am feeling better about it all now.
Nicholas is definately thriving and has put on another 70 grams which takes him over his birth weight and he is just the most delightful contented baby you can imagine. The elevated levels however do mean that he needs to return to the hospital again on Wednesday for more checks, but I am praying that this time things will have started to change.
Mom, myself and all three children took our first outing into Burgess Hill today in search of Macdonald Burgers and to show mom the wonders of the Argos shop.....Nicholas was a total treasure and slept all the way through the trip and both Megan and Phillip where on top behaviour so all and all a lovely way to spend the morning and after all those days in hospital really really nice to be out.
Thursday 7th August 2008
Today I received the very unexpected news from the paediatrician consultant that I am finally able to take Nicholas home…it has been a long and emotional haul and there have been times when I have wondered if I am ever going to get out of here. We have been fighting the jaundices since day one and still don’t have levels that are completely normal, but the consultant who examined Nicholas this morning is convinced more than ever, especially in view of his weight gain (72grams in 1 day) that it is related purely to his bruise and the fact that we have different blood groups could also have a contributory factor…so with nothing more sinister or worrying then that they are prepared to chance the release and I will bring him back on Sunday afternoon to have his levels tested again and hear the results of the blood tests that they have taken.
He has warned me to remain psychologically prepared to be readmitted if things don’t settle, but I am putting my total faith in God that this will be the beginning of welcoming Nicholas into our family home and I can finally spend some good quality time with my mom….I have to admit to becoming increasingly anxious that I will spend most of her trip in hospital and not get to spend much needed time with her before I say goodbye again till April when we return to South Africa for 2 weeks, just wish my dad could also be here with us, I thing everything we have been through in the last 10 days has made me want to curl up in the heart of my family and just rest for a little while.
He has warned me to remain psychologically prepared to be readmitted if things don’t settle, but I am putting my total faith in God that this will be the beginning of welcoming Nicholas into our family home and I can finally spend some good quality time with my mom….I have to admit to becoming increasingly anxious that I will spend most of her trip in hospital and not get to spend much needed time with her before I say goodbye again till April when we return to South Africa for 2 weeks, just wish my dad could also be here with us, I thing everything we have been through in the last 10 days has made me want to curl up in the heart of my family and just rest for a little while.
Wednesday 6th August 2008
What a rollercoaster ride this has been, I was hoping to have been home by now, but at this moment I am not sure when that is going to happen….Nicholas’s Billy Ruben levels (indication of jaundice) keep bouncing around and he has once again been placed under the lights for the third time – spoke to the paediatric nurse on duty tonight (from South Africa funnily enough) and although she has assured me that Nicholas is not sick and is very strong and progressing well they need to take more blood to try and determine what is underlying the jaundice and rule out some conditions which may be keeping the levels unstable.
Haven’t been able to stop crying, I think I am just emotionally and physically exhausted, Simon and the nursing staff decided that it would be a good idea for me to go home for an hour this evening just to get some fresh air and spend some time with the family…..really don’t know if it was the best thing though as the excitement in the children’s voices when they thought I was home for good and having to say good bye to them again at the end of the evening was heartbreaking and I also don’t know how good it was for them to see me in such a state – but that said, I have decided to go home every evening for 2 hours to have dinner with the family from now on and the nursing staff will give Nicholas a top up bottle of expressed milk during that time if he needs it as I am hoping to normalize our situation a little bit as Phillip in particular is starting to take strain and at this stage I have absolutely no idea when we will be going home for good.
Haven’t been able to stop crying, I think I am just emotionally and physically exhausted, Simon and the nursing staff decided that it would be a good idea for me to go home for an hour this evening just to get some fresh air and spend some time with the family…..really don’t know if it was the best thing though as the excitement in the children’s voices when they thought I was home for good and having to say good bye to them again at the end of the evening was heartbreaking and I also don’t know how good it was for them to see me in such a state – but that said, I have decided to go home every evening for 2 hours to have dinner with the family from now on and the nursing staff will give Nicholas a top up bottle of expressed milk during that time if he needs it as I am hoping to normalize our situation a little bit as Phillip in particular is starting to take strain and at this stage I have absolutely no idea when we will be going home for good.
Tuesday 5th August 2008
Today was one of great sadness and tragedy, I received word from Linda this morning that Tracy’s dad in South Africa was very ill and had been admitted into hospital where he had undergone brain surgery….suddenly the distance between Haywards Heath and Hillcrest had never seemed greater and I longed to be able to reach out to my friend and hold her and give her the love and strength that I know she so desperately needs right now.
Unfortunately Tracy’s dad lost his battle and passed away this afternoon and I have never felt so desperate at being away, it is probably the hardest moment I have encountered throughout this emigration process as it suddenly and starkly became clear that no matter what happens back in SA we have so little influence over it and life goes on there in all its beauty and ugliness and those of us who have left will never again be a part of it. I have to admit it also made me confront my own parents mortality and the fact that I may not be able to be there if either of them get sick and that was enough to tip the balance and make today possibly the worst I have experienced in the UK so far.
Unfortunately Tracy’s dad lost his battle and passed away this afternoon and I have never felt so desperate at being away, it is probably the hardest moment I have encountered throughout this emigration process as it suddenly and starkly became clear that no matter what happens back in SA we have so little influence over it and life goes on there in all its beauty and ugliness and those of us who have left will never again be a part of it. I have to admit it also made me confront my own parents mortality and the fact that I may not be able to be there if either of them get sick and that was enough to tip the balance and make today possibly the worst I have experienced in the UK so far.
Monday 4th August 2008
Well I have officially been in hospital for 7 days and the walls are starting to close in on me a bit…Si returned to work so it was the first day that I spent completely on my own and the loneliness and isolation of being so far away from home really hit….in South Africa I would have had loads of visitors and my ward would have been full of flowers whereas here it is just little old me….family came to visit in the evening which was wonderful, but somehow an hour just isn’t enough.
Nicholas is doing well and his tube has been removed which makes feeding so much easier, he has been moved into my room today and although he is still on the billy bed it is lovely to have him with me – can’t wait to be able to have cuddle times with him as so far with his need for the lights and uninterrupted sleep it is literally a few minutes at a time over scoff and then back in his bed for peace and quiet.
When I was thinking about having another baby for all those years and people would ask me why I wanted another child, I could never give them any other answer then that I just knew that there was a soul in my life waiting to be born, and that is exactly how I feel about Nicholas, one huge bonus to so much “alone” time in hospital is that we have been able to bond, and I absolutely adore this precious little being that God has sent us to look after.
As for a 4th and final child, well lets just wait and see, the birth was to traumatic for me to even think about it now and I think it will take Simon at least a year to recover, but something in the bottom of my heart tells me that it will happen and then our family will be complete.
Nicholas is doing well and his tube has been removed which makes feeding so much easier, he has been moved into my room today and although he is still on the billy bed it is lovely to have him with me – can’t wait to be able to have cuddle times with him as so far with his need for the lights and uninterrupted sleep it is literally a few minutes at a time over scoff and then back in his bed for peace and quiet.
When I was thinking about having another baby for all those years and people would ask me why I wanted another child, I could never give them any other answer then that I just knew that there was a soul in my life waiting to be born, and that is exactly how I feel about Nicholas, one huge bonus to so much “alone” time in hospital is that we have been able to bond, and I absolutely adore this precious little being that God has sent us to look after.
As for a 4th and final child, well lets just wait and see, the birth was to traumatic for me to even think about it now and I think it will take Simon at least a year to recover, but something in the bottom of my heart tells me that it will happen and then our family will be complete.
Sunday 3rd August 2008
Today I received the wonderful news that I am now able to move into a private ward on the Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) where I will start preparing to feed Nicholas on demand and hopefully see the removal of his nasogastric tube before long. Mom and Si came in to help me move and then Phillip and I spent a little bit of alone one on one time as he is battling a bit with me being away for so long and is a bit tearful at home. It was also the first time that the bigger children were able to actually able to hold their little brother and they were so tender it was just the sweetest thing to observe.
Saturday 2nd August 2008
Due to the fact that Nicholas made an early arrival, Simon and I were totally unprepared…other than the items we have received from Tanya and Steve and my baby shower we have absolutely nothing and despite Linda and Rob having a look for us on Freecycle, we have so far been unable to source a crib or moses basket so are off to Crawley this morning to the big Mothercare Superstore there to see what we can find.
Again Murphy is around, although this time in a good way and no sooner had Simon and I decided on our crib then Kerry sms’d to say that they had found us a moses basket, after some deliberation Si and I decided to go ahead with the crib anyway which will be next to my bed and use the moses basket for the next couple of months as a second bed for daytime sleeping downstairs until another of Kerry’s friends baby is born in October at which time we will pass the moses basket on to her….So once again a huge thank you to Kerry and Rob, I seem to spend my life thanking them, you have simply no idea how wonderful this couple have been to us, I really don’t know how we would have managed without them.
Simon and I spent a lovely couple of hours shopping and it was lovely to be away from the hospital and out living a normal life…Nicholas and I were totally spoilt and literally anything I wanted I had including a funky retro granny wingback chair just perfect for feeding.
Again Murphy is around, although this time in a good way and no sooner had Simon and I decided on our crib then Kerry sms’d to say that they had found us a moses basket, after some deliberation Si and I decided to go ahead with the crib anyway which will be next to my bed and use the moses basket for the next couple of months as a second bed for daytime sleeping downstairs until another of Kerry’s friends baby is born in October at which time we will pass the moses basket on to her….So once again a huge thank you to Kerry and Rob, I seem to spend my life thanking them, you have simply no idea how wonderful this couple have been to us, I really don’t know how we would have managed without them.
Simon and I spent a lovely couple of hours shopping and it was lovely to be away from the hospital and out living a normal life…Nicholas and I were totally spoilt and literally anything I wanted I had including a funky retro granny wingback chair just perfect for feeding.
Sunday, 10 August 2008
Wednesday 30th – Friday 1st August 2008
Nicholas has gone from strength to strength and fortunately my milk supply has come in well and I have been able to express all his “top up” feeds which means that he has been exclusively on breast milk almost since birth. I have been resident in the Bolney Maternity ward where I will wait for Nicholas to be ready for me to move into a room on the Special Care Baby Unit in preparation for his going home.
Due to a high Billy Ruben (Jaundice) level he has been on a Billy Bed which is aimed at controlling his liver function and helping him to process the huge bruise which he has on his head due to the suction cup and as a result of the bed we need to keep his fluid levels high so despite the fact that he is latching and feeding well he is being “topped” up through a nasogastro tube after each feed.
I need to mention at this stage, that although we have heard some really rough stories about the NHS and Maternity care in this country, Simon, Nicholas and I have experienced nothing but exceptional, professional and caring service, from the midwives who looked after me through the long labour and literally stayed at my bedside for the last 12 hours, to the consultants and anesthetist who finally completed the delivery, through the community midwives who run the maternity ward to last but not least the exceptionally committed and dedicated paediatricians, paediatrician nurses and sisters who run the special baby care unit. Not for one minute have I felt unsafe or afraid and everyone we have had contact with is an experienced professional with our welfare at heart……amazingly enough, this is ALL for free.
My mom arrived on Friday morning, she managed to change her flights on hearing that I was in labour and I think her arrival has been as much a relief for Simon as it has been for me. My poor dh is exhausted with running the house, looking after the children and offering emotional support for his wife and baby in hospital, so now that my mom is here at least he can relax a little as she willingly takes up some of his load.
Due to a high Billy Ruben (Jaundice) level he has been on a Billy Bed which is aimed at controlling his liver function and helping him to process the huge bruise which he has on his head due to the suction cup and as a result of the bed we need to keep his fluid levels high so despite the fact that he is latching and feeding well he is being “topped” up through a nasogastro tube after each feed.
I need to mention at this stage, that although we have heard some really rough stories about the NHS and Maternity care in this country, Simon, Nicholas and I have experienced nothing but exceptional, professional and caring service, from the midwives who looked after me through the long labour and literally stayed at my bedside for the last 12 hours, to the consultants and anesthetist who finally completed the delivery, through the community midwives who run the maternity ward to last but not least the exceptionally committed and dedicated paediatricians, paediatrician nurses and sisters who run the special baby care unit. Not for one minute have I felt unsafe or afraid and everyone we have had contact with is an experienced professional with our welfare at heart……amazingly enough, this is ALL for free.
My mom arrived on Friday morning, she managed to change her flights on hearing that I was in labour and I think her arrival has been as much a relief for Simon as it has been for me. My poor dh is exhausted with running the house, looking after the children and offering emotional support for his wife and baby in hospital, so now that my mom is here at least he can relax a little as she willingly takes up some of his load.
Nicholas’s Story - Monday 28th and Tuesday 29th July 2008
Having woken up in the hospital and realizing that my waters were still leaking I resigned myself to the fact that I was probably in for the day, but although my anxiety levels where a bit high, I still had no idea whether or not the baby was going to come early. At 10h00 the consultants on duty decided that due to the fact that my temp was still up, either I or the baby had some kind of infection and it was going to be necessary to induce labour and deliver the baby sooner rather than later. At this point I admit to being terrified and feeling incredibly alone as Simon had had to stay with the children who are on summer holiday so I was handling all the news on my own and feeling increasingly apprehensive about delivering a premature baby.
Simon arrived at the hospital shortly after and I made contact with Kerry and Rob to find out if they would be able to have the children for me for the day so that Si could stay with me for the labour…once again, these new and incredibly special friends came to the fore and Kerry fetched Megan and Phil from the hospital just after 11h00 when I was wheeled into delivery for the induction to begin.
Needless to say, the time had now come to contact South Africa and start letting people know what was going on….Lin immediately set up a prayer chain for me, and just knowing that there were so many people out there pulling for us made the experience that much easier to bare. On what had to be the hottest day we have experienced in England so far, I laboured on for around 9 hours before it became apparent that the induction wasn’t working as well as it should and my cervix was still only dilated 2.5cm. Up went the drip and in went the epidural and we continued through the night with me becoming increasingly anxious about the outcome of the delivery.
By 7am I was only 4cm dilated and becoming weak due to lack of food and as my labour wasn’t progressing very fast there was some concern about my energy levels so Simon was dispatched to the petrol station across the road from the hospital to buy me some boiled sweets….needless to say, Murphy and his sick sense of humour, no sooner had Simon left but my contractions started to increase and I began feeling an increasing urge to push. At this stage the epidural had been tapped right off so that I could feel everything, and girlfriends it is nasty, but you go somewhere in your head and it really isn’t nearly as bad as they make it out to be in the movies. After a quick examination it was determined that I was now 10 cm dilated and Simon was phoned and told to get a move on so he didn’t miss the main event.
Unfortunately my contractions suddenly seemed to disappear and no matter how much I pushed, nothing was happening…about 1.5 hours later it became apparent that the baby was in distress and we were informed that the situation had turned into an emergency, my epidural was converted to a full spinal block and I was taken to theater where the consultant intended to attempt a venteuse or suction cup delivery before converting to a C-Section. From somewhere I managed to find the strength to give three final pushes, although I have to be honest by this stage I was struggling to stay awake and don’t have much memory of what was going on.
Nicholas John Robertson was born at 10h15 by venteuse delivery, weighing 2.67 kgs and scored a 1 minute apgar of 6/10 and a 5 minute score of 9/10. All I can tell you about the moment is that I felt terrified, was my baby going to be okay, or was he born too early and weak and what would I do if something happened to him…needless to say, my fears were in vain and although Nicholas was transferred to the Special Care Baby Unit and administered with antibiotics for an infection he is a very strong little boy and before the evening had been down graded from high care to normal care with in the unit.
I unfortunately wasn’t quite as strong and experienced a bit of a collapse shortly after the delivery….I think that it was due to pure exhaustion and possible a bit of a reaction to the spinal block but I was literally unable to wake up for around 4 hours after the delivery despite the best efforts of the nursing staff…again, this luckily didn’t last and I was reunited with my baby boy in the SCBU ward before the end of the day.
Simon arrived at the hospital shortly after and I made contact with Kerry and Rob to find out if they would be able to have the children for me for the day so that Si could stay with me for the labour…once again, these new and incredibly special friends came to the fore and Kerry fetched Megan and Phil from the hospital just after 11h00 when I was wheeled into delivery for the induction to begin.
Needless to say, the time had now come to contact South Africa and start letting people know what was going on….Lin immediately set up a prayer chain for me, and just knowing that there were so many people out there pulling for us made the experience that much easier to bare. On what had to be the hottest day we have experienced in England so far, I laboured on for around 9 hours before it became apparent that the induction wasn’t working as well as it should and my cervix was still only dilated 2.5cm. Up went the drip and in went the epidural and we continued through the night with me becoming increasingly anxious about the outcome of the delivery.
By 7am I was only 4cm dilated and becoming weak due to lack of food and as my labour wasn’t progressing very fast there was some concern about my energy levels so Simon was dispatched to the petrol station across the road from the hospital to buy me some boiled sweets….needless to say, Murphy and his sick sense of humour, no sooner had Simon left but my contractions started to increase and I began feeling an increasing urge to push. At this stage the epidural had been tapped right off so that I could feel everything, and girlfriends it is nasty, but you go somewhere in your head and it really isn’t nearly as bad as they make it out to be in the movies. After a quick examination it was determined that I was now 10 cm dilated and Simon was phoned and told to get a move on so he didn’t miss the main event.
Unfortunately my contractions suddenly seemed to disappear and no matter how much I pushed, nothing was happening…about 1.5 hours later it became apparent that the baby was in distress and we were informed that the situation had turned into an emergency, my epidural was converted to a full spinal block and I was taken to theater where the consultant intended to attempt a venteuse or suction cup delivery before converting to a C-Section. From somewhere I managed to find the strength to give three final pushes, although I have to be honest by this stage I was struggling to stay awake and don’t have much memory of what was going on.
Nicholas John Robertson was born at 10h15 by venteuse delivery, weighing 2.67 kgs and scored a 1 minute apgar of 6/10 and a 5 minute score of 9/10. All I can tell you about the moment is that I felt terrified, was my baby going to be okay, or was he born too early and weak and what would I do if something happened to him…needless to say, my fears were in vain and although Nicholas was transferred to the Special Care Baby Unit and administered with antibiotics for an infection he is a very strong little boy and before the evening had been down graded from high care to normal care with in the unit.
I unfortunately wasn’t quite as strong and experienced a bit of a collapse shortly after the delivery….I think that it was due to pure exhaustion and possible a bit of a reaction to the spinal block but I was literally unable to wake up for around 4 hours after the delivery despite the best efforts of the nursing staff…again, this luckily didn’t last and I was reunited with my baby boy in the SCBU ward before the end of the day.
Weekend with the Andrew Family
I am finally back after a long absence which I will get to the details of shortly, but in the interest in keeping an accurate account of our time here, I need to capture the details of our wonderful weekend with the Andrew family in Weston-Super-Mare first.
At 3pm on Friday Megan, Phillip, “Aunty Madge” (the SatNav system) and I set off to collect Simon from work in Reigate so that we could head off for Weston-Super-Mare and our special friends Cayne, Linda, Caylin and Jordan. We really never learn and although it only took me 45 minutes to get near to London and fetch Simon, the estimated 2.5 hour trip turned into a 4.5 hour trip thanks to, yes you guessed it, LONDON TRAFFIC.
We finally arrived a little hungry, but other then that no worse for wear and after a Macdonald’s Burger (yes we are eating a hell of a lot of those at the moment) and a long glass of cold lemonade we felt infinitely refreshed. Kids went to bed early and Linda and I sat in her lovely cozy lounge and chatted until nearly 1am while Simon and Cayne wrapped in blankies sat outside under the starts and caught up….what a perfect end to the day…words cannot begin to describe the comfort of again being with good friends and just allowing yourself to relax totally.
Saturday morning allowed for a lovely sleep in and I finally appeared downstairs a little after 09h00 to the smell of bacon and eggs and a lovely English breakfast…Linda and Cayne really spoilt us rotten and the pregnant fairy wasn’t allowed to do anything but sit and chat and relax and let me tell you it was exactly what I needed – I am absolutely huge at this stage and don’t know what I am going to look like by the time this baby finally puts in an appearance in roughly 5 weeks time.
After breakfast we left the Andrew’s delightful home and headed down to the beach and the heli-day which was being held on the beach front…the children (and secretly I think the dad’s as well) enjoyed seeing the helicopters and having the opportunity to climb around inside them, but soon the draw of the perfect weather and the sandy beach was too much and we made our way onto the sand, where again Lin and I were able to just sit and chill while Simon and Cayne took the children down to play in the water. Now please understand that while Weston-Super-Mare is by far the best beach we have been on so far, it still has no waves so is a lot like swimming in a large dam or lake.
After about an hour of total down time, Cayne and I decided to take a walk up the beach with Caylin and go and see what was on offer…it also gave me the perfect excuse to stretch my legs and relieve the pressure of the bump. As soon as we got to the other side of the beach I was enchanted by the horse and cart and donkey rides and before long Cayne was jogging back to fetch the others. Needless to say the remainder of the day passed in a happy blur with rides for the children and soccer on the beach and hot salt and vinegar chips for lunch…simply perfect!
Just before home time, Lin and I took the children down to the low tide line (Weston has the second highest tide line in the country) to experience the famous Weston-Super-Mud and I have to confess even I enjoyed squelching my toes and a couple of times was tempted to just lie down and wallow – now for a mud-a-phobic like me this is extremely unusual, but maybe looking like a hippo makes us want to act like one (lol). Eventually the temptation was too much and Simon joined us agreeing to take the children even further out, with that Lin and I returned to our deck chairs to wait, and what a sight we had when the children came back…..only precious Caylin had resisted the urge to wallow, but as for the other three, well need I say more.
Sunday morning was Simon’s turn for a short sleep in and once he eventually surfaced him and Cayne took the children down to the beach again for a short swim and Lin and I headed for the shops. I have never been to an ASDA before and was very happy to just browse around while Lin organized the lunch. On our way home Lin took me into a wonderful soft furnishings shop and I was like a child in a candy shop, we just don’t get these kind of home décor stores in Haywards Heath and it wasn’t long before I had a lovely mirror for my wall, two pictures and a “treasure box” which I just had to own because it reminded me of Beryldene under my arm.
My wonderful, understanding dh didn’t have a heart attack when I returned and although Lin and I had planned for her to return the items if he did, he was very cool and allowed them all to be packed in the back of the bus to make the journey home (must be all the sun and sea air lol).
After a lovely lunch of hotdogs and fresh fruit eaten in Linda’s charming sunny dining room it was a quick lesson for Lin on how to make her blog work and then off for a final visit to the park for the children to run off some energy before our long trip home. Ice creams in the park ended another perfect day and it was finally time to leave…only this time, Simon had programmed “Aunty Madge” to take us home by an alternative route which although a bit more windy missed out going anywhere near London and 4 hours later we were back at our home a lot less stressed and tired then we have been on previous returns.
At 23h30 I was unexpectedly awoken by a rush of fluid between my legs, and knowing that I am not, as yet, incontinent (lol), quickly realized that it was my water’s breaking. Although this was a very scary feeling (considering the fact that the baby was not due for another 4+ weeks), I very calmly (if I must say so myself) woke Simon, told him how to contact the hospital, and made arrangements for me to go in for a check up. At 01h00 it was confirmed that my waters had in fact broken and that I was running a low grade fever of around 37.6 degrees so I was admitted to hospital for observation, and my poor dh who had been sitting in the car while the children slept was finally able to go home and get some sleep.
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