Saturday 23rd August 2008

Today my mom should have been arriving in the UK for the birth of our precious baby....isn't it amazing how life has changed so dramatically in the last month. On Friday, Nicholas will be 1 month old and is growing beautifully, he is now taking his antibiotic without too much fuss and is scheduled for his kidney ultrasound on 4th September - the medical care that we have received in this country so far has been a true blessing and sometimes when I think about what this all would have cost if we had still been in South Africa, it makes me shudder.....life certainly isn't perfect here but I have discovered through this whole process that if you choose to count your blessings wherever and whenever you find them and be grateful for what you have, you can find your peace and ultimately be happy.

This week has simply flown by in a blur of feeding and dirty nappies...the only difference is that this time round I don't feel like I have to be "supermom" and am more accepting of it, even the sleepless nights, and believe me this boy doesn't sleep at night....I think I have waited for this baby for so long that this time round I have less to prove and am quite content to just sit for hours letting my baby dummy and if I am still in my jarmies at 14h00 I just accept it and move on.

Having said that however, I have found myself stressed at times and ready to beat myself up about the fact that Nicholas has an infection and was born preterm - it was words from my mother the other day that really put things into perspective and I am now trying to step back and enjoy this precious bundle.

We were sitting on my bed when my mom asked me how old my babies are when I really start to enjoy them and I suddenly realised that although I am so so grateful for Nicholas I spend a tremendous amount of time worry about him rather then celebrating him, so my new resolution is to let go of what has been and enjoy every single second with Nicholas and not count down the days until he is 5 months old and less vulnerable.

With that in mind, we have been on a few outings this week and I am starting to feel more confident about taking Nicholas out. Today we originally had plans to explore Ardingly Reservoir just up the road from us as a closer outing means that we can head home if Nick starts to get fussy but during breakfast Kerry phoned to invite us all to a picnic at Bedelands Nature Reserve in Burgess Hill and as we so enjoy spending time with this wonderful family, it was a no brainer and off we went.

After a lovely walk and picnic lunch near the pond, both families indulge in a game of cricket in a nearby field before heading home to a lazy afternoon and delicious roast pork cooked in our new webber. Life really is sweet!!!!!