I have arrived at the opinion that it is the little things that can derail a successful immigration just as they can derail a marriage......you can only hope to be one of the lucky ones and when one member of the family is struggling and unsettled the rest can balance the boat so to speak until you are once again in "calm" waters.
9 months into his time here my dh is really going through a rough patch, I think it it predominantly due to the fact that he is restless at work and looking for greater challenges. On talking about it last night he mentioned that it is one thing to be frustrated at work when the rest of your life is in a comfort zone but when EVERYTHING you have known your whole life has changed it is all the more unsettling.
Fortunately Si is one of the wisest men I know and he enters into no decision lightly so although he is finding it tough (and I don't think cycling home after a 40 min train ride in the pitch dark at subzero temperatures is helping any) he is by no means considering throwing in the towel at this stage and I am sure that slowly but surely he will find his footing again. He is certainly not desperately unhappy and still finds a tremendous amount of pleasure in our family and the time that we spend together over the weekends. One thing it has however made me realise is that you can never really say "well that is it, we have done it" as things change daily and what is fine today can push you over the edge tomorrow.
I on the other hand am going through a particularly good patch (which helps tremendously with keeping that aforementioned boat steady as it would be dreadful if we were both rocky) and am loving the way my life is going.....I love the time at home with Nicholas and just enjoying being his mom, I now enjoy doing reading and homework with my older two and I enjoy going out to meet new people. Above all I think I am enjoying the freedom to walk and walk and walk......decided to walk to Kindermusiek this morning (roughly 10kms round trip) and have come home feeling restored and rejuvenated (if exhausted lol) and ready to stand by my man!
8 comments:
wow - it is not easy to settle everyone at the same time - some do faster than other in different areas. if you never had a baby and wernt out and baout with new moms - you wouldnt be this settled i can assure you - if you were out at work all day like he is and not meeting friends and only doing STUFF on week-ends i think you would also be feeling - a little down and questioning it all. hang in there guys - it is healthy to air the feelings and vent and be open - but at the end of the day - if after three years you havnt ALL settled - well then HOUSTON YOU GOT A PROBLEM. Work is a major part of the week in any country - so is chores and bills - thats life - its the little things that make it worth while - the scenery the weather the friends the hobbies and so on - if it is all work nothing else - then thats a problem
I am so pleased that you are on a high at the moment and able to be there for Si as he tries to come to terms with all the changes in his life.As you said scary if both down at the same time I am certain that everything will be fine in time and you will all NEVER look back.Remember that on your journey through life ,pause if you need to,but never take a step backwards.
Hi Andrea,
I haven't popped in on you in a while now so am obviously distressed that your poor dh sounds unhappy! Mind you, I would also be with all that exercise, lol! My advice would be DO NOT come back!! You have done so wello so far...I'm sure you can overcome this latest hitch together. If you are able, I would really appreciate it if you popped by & read my latest post & told me what YOU would have done (or what you would expectg to be done in my situation) as I'm having a little "issue" this side of the world & with your Scrapkits experience you may have some wise advice ;-)
It's a January thing! I have always found January a draining month in Europe.
February is usually better because it's 'lighter'.It's amazing what a little spring breeze can do for the soul.
Isn't it wonderful to be in a balanced relationship! To have somebody to cheer you up when things get too much.
You'll see Si - February I tell you - everything will change......
hi there my friend.sorry to hear that Simon going thru a rough patch.Lucky for him,he has got you to encourage & support him.We all go through rought patches & it really helps to have someone there to help you out.
happy to read that you are on a high & making the most of your time with the children.they are definately benefitting from it.
love & regards to all, Mary
Hi Andrea :) Sorry it has been so forever-long since I was last in touch but I had a bad fight with the Homesick Monster. Much better now... Your most recent blog entry should be read by anyone wanting to emigrate to England. You captured it with such tenderness and wisdom. (Your 'Walking on Sunshine' is playing now - and I have to have a sardonic little giggle!) Lots of love, Lisa
Andrea - hang in there you are both so solid and have come so far and such a close unit.We are definately cheering for you.
Gf...these things are sent to test us, and it does make life, ...well...more interesting if anything, and life I guess...but when all is said and done, what's meant to be, will be, and sometimes we over analyze where we are and where we are going too much, instead of just taking one day at a time, and enjoying the ride. So I say you do what you do best, and that is continue being the heart of the family, and the supportive wife and mother you are, and sometimes if we let it, things sort themselves out...
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