A post by one of my blog buddy's the other day really hit home, and made me realise that sometimes the thought that you will NEVER return to South Africa is enough to send you into a downwards spiral of homesickness fed by this inevitability. As with anything, if a door is firmly closed in front of you, the picture of what is behind it increases in importance, until we almost obsess about how wonderful it would be to get through that door, we hammer on it and stare at it longingly and everything else around us pales into insignificance.....but open a window next to the door and the fresh air flows through, you can see what is behind the door with clearer eyes and you know that if you are absolutely desperate you can always climb through that window.
So now, in the interests of helping Simon through this rough patch, we have "opened a window" and decided that we will remain in this country for the years necessary for my children to naturalise (due to my British passport) thereby giving them all the opportunities possible as they will be dual citizens and can make up their own minds as they grow up as to where they want to live and study....and at the end of this time, Si and I will reassess our situation and make a decision as to where we want to grow old.
I cannot help but hope that in this time, Simon will find his feet and grow to love the English way of life as I have, or if not, to at least embrace the good parts of it and accept those that he finds difficult at the moment.....I am hoping that now that he no longer feels obligated to remain here he will return to enjoying the experience or adventure as I have so often called it and in doing this will find some of the peace that the rest of us have.
6 comments:
Hi! Thanks for your lovely comment recently. I know you pop in so don't worry! I'm sad to read how Simon feels...especially as you have made such great progress yourself. Really hope he comes round to enjoying it. It does take time, at least 2 years, & even then nowhere is like home. Sometimes you just have to do what's "best" even if it may not be what you "like best"...
Thanks for your comment Andrea. You have such a way of cutting through problems to a way of coping & seeing a solution that is really uplifting for others. Life anywhere is full of highs & lows and you do need to remember the big picture. Have a great week.
I think when you put it like that - seeing it as an adventure, knowing you can go back to where you came from - will certanly help Simon. It is not so final as "we have moved to England".
Hope he feels better about everything.
sigh...gf...you always said four years, and I think to make absolute decisions about the rest of your life, when you still have such a long way inbetween does make it seem harder in the tough times. I think your new approach is the wisest way to move forward, and as I said before, we never know, as with my move to the Midlands, what will present itself inbetween, to change your course you had plotted, or keep it the same...
Sorry to hear that your DH is not enjoying the UK as much. You guys are still young enough to spend time there and come back. We have a couple with 2 kids across the road from us that have just moved in. The were in the UK for about 6 years and are soooo happy back here. Crime and all, I was surprised personally having just got back from the UK myself. Get the passports I say.
I think that is a really smart way of doing it - you are really giving your children a fantastic opportunity here. Hoping that your hubby settles soon and finds his feet!
We have 5 days to go, and from here the grass is looking very green! funny how things can change :)
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