Friday 31st October 2008

Tonight is Halloween and the first real one that my children have ever experienced...in South Africa, not having lived in a development, but rather a free hold house the opportunity to go "trick or treating" never really presented itself so to say that the excitement levels in the house have been off the charts all day would be the understatement of the century. Preparations started early this morning with the pumpkin carving in which Simon was a very willing participant and the kids had a ball scooping out the middle with their hands - although Phil did find the smell a bit much at times.

Later in the afternoon the balloons and pumpkin were placed outside to you tell people that we are willing to be disturbed and will participate and then the children were off to get dressed in their new outfits as Megan had a party tonight and Phillip was going out "trick or treating" with Natasha and Murray.

Well the evening is drawing to a close and unfortunately it was not quite as exciting as the children had hoped...it would seem that we live in an area populate predominantly by elderly people and the vibe just wasn't there. Never deterred Phil still had fun just being outside late at night with his friends and we are hoping that Megs will have had fun when we collect her from the party later tonight. A bit of a disappointment, but still another first for England, really looking forward to the Guy Fawkes display on Wednesday night and that one I know won't be a let down.

Thursday 30th October 2008

Simon and I have been wanting to take the children through to Chessington World of Adventure for some time now as it is one of the attractions we can visit for "free" on our Merlin Card which we purchased earlier in the year. Well, as with many of the attractions in England, they are closing for the winter next week so we had to make it this week or not at all and as tomorrow is Halloween we decided on Wednesday night that today was the day come hell or high water or in this case rain, sleet or hail even the fact that the telly forecast the average temperature for the day as between 4-6 degrees did not deter us.

We woke up to a freezing morning, but the sky was clear and that is always a good sign as you can dress for the cold, but the rain is more difficult, especially with Nicholas. Dressed in about 4 layers each with beanies, gloves and boots we set off amidst much excitement. Chessington is about 60kms from home, but thanks to the usual traffic (this time made worse by an accident which forced us to take a detour) the trip took about 1.5hours....my children are becoming so good at long distance travel (thank heavens for DS Lites) and they really don't moan at all, in fact this time it was me getting restless and impatient.

We finally arrived and Chessington was LOVELY - lots of rides for the children which they loved and a zoo which Megan, Simon and I are not tooo sure about. Phillip is a little young to be concerned and he was just delighted with being able to see animals such as Lion, Tigers, Gorillas and Leopard up close....but for the rest of us the enclosures seemed a little bit small, but that said the animals are all in suburb condition and are all breeding which I think is a good sign, still, not something I will rush to do again in a hurry.

After our walk around the zoo, cups of hot chocolate (it was absolutely freezing) and our lovely picnic lunch (you are allowed to take your own food into all these parks) Si decided the queues for all the "big" rides were simply too long and finally agreed to buy express passes which allows you to go directly to the front of the queue rather than having to wait up to 55 minutes for a ride.

The big rides, unfortunately, were just too much for Megan, so while her and I waited Simon and Phillip went on all the big roller coaster rides.....I was quite amazed as Megs is usually the daredevil and Phil is the cautious one, but hormones must be setting in and Megan wanted her feet firmly planted on the floor while Phil was game for absolutely anything.

A lovely lovely day!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday 29th October 2008

It is now starting to get really really cold and there have been early snow falls all over the UK this week....first time since 1974 they have had snow in October so it sounds like we are in for one hell of a winter. Margie and Fergus headed back North at about 11am this morning after a stunning two days but poor things had a 3 hour diversion due to a traffic accident on the M25 and a 2 hour trip turned into a 5 hour one which certainly isn't fun in this weather. Si took the children out to see Igor this evening while I stayed home.

7 Facts about me

Fact 1
I HATE geckos.....the horrible cold reptilian types - this is truly a phobia and has prevented me from going to work once, yes seriously, I waited on the steps to my office for 2 hours until someone chased the sleeping gecko from over the door as I just couldn't face walking underneath it....well you picture a gecko trapped in this hair.....aaahhhhhhh...enough to send me to a nut house.

Fact 2
I am addicted to property programs on TV and will watch every single one that comes on and even watch the reruns occasionally....I just adore them!

Fact 3
I am a total bookworm and am never happier then when curled up on a warm bed reading....don't have much time for it at the moment but when I do I can easily devour 4 - 6 books in a month - gotta be fiction though, I need to escape so no non-fiction for me.

Fact 4
At one point when I was growing up I wanted to be a ship's captain....my dad has always worked in shipping and I just thought it would be so cool to go to sea - my dad soon set me straight though about life as a captain....and as they say the rest is history.

Fact 5
I didn't think I wanted to have children when I was at university and only agreed because I adored Simon and that is what he wanted.....whoever would have though that I would end up with 3 with possible plans for number 4 - my children are my life and I couldn't imagine existence without them.

Fact 6
I firmly believe that I have a guardian angel and have been blessed so many times in my life that I just know that it is my grandpa looking after me....okay okay.....but this is about those little known facts.

Fact 7
If I could choose any career in the world I would love to be a professional photographer....who knows, one day when the children are grown I may find more time to explore my passion.

Tuesday 28th October 2008

After a lazy start (Margie and I only got to bed after 1am we were talking so much) we decided that the clear blue skies bode well for a trip down to Brighton so very warmly dressed we all headed out in Aunty Madge (aka the bus) for the coast.


After a walk through the steets of Brighton and a visit to the Pavillion Gardens it was down to the beach front for a picnic and a chance for the children to play on the pebbles. The weather was very kind to us and as we sat down behind a wind break on the beach the sun shone and at one point it was actually quite warm. Nicholas LOVED his first visit to the beach and lay kicking his legs and beaming at everyone while the other three children skimmed rocks and dug holes in the stones.

After a lovely lunch we took a slow stroll down the pier and the cold crisp weather resulted in the most PERFECT light for photographs, so while Si and Margie chatted and pushed the pram, Fergus and I were "shooting" like crazy trying to catch the perfect shot and I must say it was great to just be taking photos for photos sake, something I haven't done since my trip to Cape Town with Tracy in 2007. Got some stunning shots (well in my opinion) which I am well pleased with.

Monday 27th October 2008

Margie, Fergus and Devan arrived this morning and it was so lovely to see friends from South Africa....first port of call was the South African shop in Uckfield where we stocked up on Biltong and Boerewors and then the mad South Africans decided that despite the fact that the temp was forecast to be 4 degrees they weren't going to settle for a nice warm English casserole for dinner, oh no...they wanted to BRAAI.

Kerry, Rob and their children joined us and armed with torches (sun sets around 6pm now) and very warm jackets the braai began...I am delighted to say I had Nick as an excuse and wasn't expected to brave the freezing conditions and Kerry and I sat in a much more civilised lounge while the other hooligans enjoyed the fire outside. Even though I was one of the ones voting for the casserole (am becoming more English by the minute) I am very glad they ignored me....lamb chops and boerewors on the braai with potato salad made with Cross and Blackwell Mayo....simply to DIE for and my mouth is watering again just thinking about it.

After dinner a game of Cranium on my lounge floor which is always good for a laugh, and for a moment I almost forgot how far away we are from home....it was almost like "old times" - a different cast, but much laughter and merriment and a very very welcome and much needed evening.

Saturday 25th October 2008

Yesterday was the children's first day at home for half term and we had a lovely pajama day in front of the television....that is one thing about the cold weather, you feel totally justified snuggling up under a blanket and doing nothing at all.

Today heralded the end of my 5th month in England and I find it hard to believe that I have been here that long already. I was speaking to Linda yesterday morning and we were just commenting on how much we feel we have had to accomplish since our arrival and I must say I am amazed at what you can get done when you have to - Lin suggested putting our accomplishments up on our blog so that we can look back on it one day and I think it is a brilliant idea so here goes....

• Found a home
• Furnished a home from scratch (lots of lovely money to spend so that was easy lol)
• Leart my way around a new town
• Learnt to drive in English country traffic
• Learnt the lingo which in some instances is like a foreign language all together
• Found and settled the children into a school
• Learnt to do housework and work out the most efficient way to get the ironing done
• Made new friends
• Had a baby
• Found a Secondary/High school for Megan

Here's to the next 5 months, I only hope they have been as exciting as the first.

FYI, temperature at 09h45 was 6.8 degrees!

Thursday 23rd October 2008

It is official, I LOVE England in the Autumn!!!!

Woke up at 6am to make rock cakes for the children to take to school for their cake sale (no more bought cakes from me) and it was still dark, no worries, lights and central heating on and while Simon exercised in the conservatory and all three children slumbered upstairs, I baked.

At 7am when Si went upstairs to have a shower (and three children continued to sleep) it was still dark - I was amazed, it was like the middle of the night, and cold, oh my word you have no idea....I opened the door to photograph the car park at night in the morning and I nearly died - absolutely freezing, but not freezing enough it would seem coz when I rushed outside to photograph de-icing the car there was no ice....will have to wait for another morning.

After getting the children off to school (sun finally rose about 7.15am) I dressed myself and Nicholas up all warm and cozy....me in socks, shoes, jeans and two jerseys and Nic in a vest, fleece suit, woolly hat and 2 blankets and off we walked first to have his injections and then to clinic. Injection appointment was really quick with no waiting and I found myself with an hour to kill before clinic opened so I decided to take Nic and I on a walking tour of Lindfield....

I walked for an hour and just loved it, I loved the freedom, I love the fact that my nose was streaming and my hands freezing from the cold and that Nic was fast asleep all tucked up in his pram, I loved the beautiful autumn colours and being covered in leaves as they fell from the trees, I love the fact that the shops were only just starting to open on my way back at 10am and I love the fact that every person I walked past greeted me and commented on the lovely blue sky and crisp wind....an AMAZING way to spend a morning and I can't believe that this is my life and that I am actually living in a tiny quaint village in rural south east England that dates back to the magna carta, and that I have my precious and much longed for 3rd baby - who would have thought, every now and then I still have to pinch myself.....but I guess you could call it a "secret".

Now on this walk I had plenty of time to think and as so often is the case my thoughts turned back to South Africa and my family and friends and in particular the Bratz and Tracy and Scrapkits...well as I walked along with a goofy smile on my face I remembered a layout I did about this time last year called "What I know for sure at 34" and this, inspired me to put together a list of "What I know for sure at 35" so here they both are.....

@34......(1) I really don't enjoy having my photo taken (2) There is nothing more important in life than family (3) Communication is the key, keep talking and anything can be resolved (4) Good friends are a rare and beautiful gift and don't come along every day (5) Orange and Green are officially my favourite colours (6) God gave me the girl I wanted and the boy I needed wonder what I will be given for number 3 (7) I don't like confrontation (8) I can cook but can only bake if it comes out of a packet (9) My parents gave me the foundation of my life, but I have made my own choices and all that I am today good or bad is because of me (10) I am an entrepreneur (11)I still don't like geckos (12) Marriage isn't always easy but it definitely is worth it.

@35.....(1) Although change is scary and we are programmed to resist it, half way through my life I have survived it and loved every minute of it! (2) Being in a totally new and scary situation does wonders for your marriage (3) Children are more resilient then we give them credit for and we should learn from them (4) God gave me another boy and I adore him (5) Friends will always be there if the bond is strong, no matter the distance (6) We don't have to be born with sisters to experience sisterhood (7) I still don't like geckos but now I don't have to worry about them (8) I like the cold and just because the sky is grey doesn't mean your mood has to be (9) I can bake....and it doesn't have to come out of a packet (10) Sometime when we are on our own we learn the most about ourselves and we can actually be quite pleasantly surprised (11) I adore my family and the time I have been given to spend caring for them and looking after them has made me happier then I could ever have imagined (12) housework isn't that big a deal! (13) I live to hear my parents voices and being so far apart has made us even closer if that is possible (14) even though you miss something so much it hurts you don't have to be miserable.

Wednesday 22nd October 2008

Oh my word, oh my word....remember the frost the other morning, well today I couldn' t wait for the sun to do it's bit as I had to be at a meeting at a prospective school for Megan by 10am...so I was out scraper in hand de-icing my car, and let me tell you did I work up a sweat, by the time I had finished it looked like there had been a mild snow storm around the car as the ground was literally covered in white ice shavings.....unfortunately due to meeting and me not allowing enough time for de-icing there was no time for photos.

After much agonising, I have finally decided on a school for Megan and officially put in my application to Oathall.....I visited Chailey again this morning and although I do love the school and more importantly the parents of the children in Megan's class who are sending their children there, I have to go with my gut, and my gut says Oathall.

Both schools have huge benefits, one is just a better match for Megs than the other, and I think she will be very happy in the Oathall environment with its huge drama / music department and on site farm. Glad to have finally settled on a decision and can now put it behind me, it has been a cause of considerable stress over the last couple of weeks.

Going green, poverty and the state of the English Family

Life has settled down to normal now and our day to day existence is the same as it was in South Africa, we are happy and thriving and most days are diamonds. As a result of this more settled existence I find I have more time to think and look at this country around me for all its wonders and faults and a couple of issues have really stood out for me.

Going green or reducing your carbon footprint is a massive agenda here and receives all the publicity and support that such an important issue deserves. I am not however naive and do believe that it is only able to be on the forefront of the governments minds because more basic issues such as crime, unemployment and poverty are, relatively speaking, under control.

I think the same is true for the general household or "man on the street", I confess that in South Africa, being green was the last thing on my mind, not because I feared for my safety, or was struggling with poverty and crime, but because it was hard....first washing then sorting and then driving to try and find recycling bins were I could dispose of my "recyclables" was a pain, and I did have to deal with the underlying threat of being alone out of my car in an often remote area while filling the recycling bins...well that's my excuse and I am sticking to it (lol).

Here it is made so easy that there is no excuse, again I stress probably because the county councils have time and resources to commit to this issue. I simply have two rubbish bins in my home, one for landfill waste i.e. food cutting, nappies etc and another for ALL washed recyclables, all I have to do is rinse the jar or bottle or box and pop it into the bin, it is sorted by county and this makes it a totally stress free way for the family to recycle, and consequently it is done in most houses throughout the area.

The wheelie bins are emptied once a week on a alternative basis, one week my landfill bin (with the black lid) is emptied and the following week my recycle bin (with the blue lid) is emptied, this also encourages recycling because believe me if you aren't sorting your rubbish there is no way your landfill wheelie bin will cope with the two week load. Such simple, yet such effective measures, but I guess with a population of nearly 68 million people they have to do something.

All this recycling got me thinking even more about the number of disposable nappies that are making their way into the landfills on a daily basis and I even began to consider going back to cloth nappies in a bid to do my bit for the environment....but yippeeeeee I have been able to find fully biodegradable disposable nappies developed in Switzerland, so I can have it easy and still be kind to the world.

Another issue which I have found to be a huge concern in this country is the number of "poor" people who make absolutely no effort what so ever and spend their lives getting drunk and stoned on the tax payers bill....now don't get me wrong, I think that the social support in this country is fantastic, but I wish that there was more control as to who it goes to, many people simply rely on government and live quite well, especially if they have a lot of children, so consequently there is a ridiculously high rate of teenage pregnancies and many don't ever try to get jobs.

I was having this conversation with a friend of mine yesterday and we agree that maybe you should only qualify for the dol if you have achieved at least one GCSE as a school leaver or have to make a commitment to study further to improve your opportunities of securing employment if you are in between jobs, surely this way the people who are in genuine need will continue to receive the support, but those that are just "milking" the system will be forced to get off their backsides and do something.

A direct result of this downward spiral of society is the consequence to family life, never before have I seen such a decay in family values....now I may be generalising, but from what I have experienced through tv shows such as the "Jeremy Kyle show" (similar to Dr Phil) there is a massive problem here with children being conceived into relationships which are only a couple of weeks old and the parents then spend time fighting and using the children as weapons in totally dysfunctional relationships.

The language here of the youth is also scary and I am often horrified by the level of behaviour that is considered acceptable by parents....I am known as the "strict mommy" by many of the children's friends, but if it keeps my kids safe and with high moral values then it is a label I am prepared to wear. It was quite funny to see the other night that a television show called "The worlds strictest parents" in which messed up English youths are sent around the world to strict parents to be "sorted out" very often features South African parents and generally from the Afrikaans community....so we must be doing something right!

It is amazing what, when no longer faced with South Africa's issue, I have been able to find to think about here.