Last night Si and I decided we needed to give ourselves and the family something to look forward to so we have taken a bit of a chance and booked ourselves a 3 night getaway at a caravan park in Devon (about 4 hours drive from us) in March.....Most of the caravan parks here are run by large organisations with parks all over the country and the Haven group which we have gone with are running a spring special which means we only paid £98 for the whole family in total.
We are going to stay in one of their mobile homes and the park has beach access to a sandy beach with both an outdoor and indoor pool for if the weather is a bit iffy and lots of other things for the kiddies to do, so holding thumbs it won't be a disappointment - I have heard that most of these parks were developed in the 70's and can be a bit tired, but we so loved our holidays at Happy Wanderers and Bazley on the KZN South Coast that we have decided to take a risk and go for it......if we don't try we will never know.
Spent some time at Rhymetime and Cafe Rouge this morning and then had to take Nick for his BCG vaccination...they are not done as a matter of course here and I have been on a waiting list since he was born, but at least it has been done now and I can rest easy when we next return to SA on holiday.
Things with Pedal Studio have settled down to a nice manageable level and I am enjoying the couple of hours a day mental stimulation, Si is being really great about it and helping with Nick in the evenings when I need to do the final updates. Lisel popping in this evening on her way home for a glass of wine which will be lovely and then I am off to Kindermusiek in the morning with my neighbour Stephanie, so once again a busy couple of days.....but better that then bored I always say.
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Monday, 26 January 2009
In Simon's words
Hi all,
I get the impression that a number of friends and family want to hear about life in the UK from my perspective. The short description below (originally an email to family members) sums things up for me at the moment.
My work days consist of leaving home for work at 7:25 am for a 1 hour door-to-door commute via bicycle and train (what ever the weather - even snow and sleet), doing exactly what I am instructed to do without question or input and returning home at about 5:45 pm. Work day evenings consist of, helping with baby while Andrea cooks the supper, occasionally helping the kids with home work, chatting to the kids about our day while we eat supper and either reading to them or watching a move before they go to bed at 9 pm. Late evening consists of about 30 min of chores, like stacking the dish washer, loading the washing machine and hanging cloths, then either vegging in front of the telly or if I am not too tired working on some personal software project till I go to bed between 11 and mid-night and waking at 6 am to start the whole process again.
I am currently in the process of trying to find contract work or a permanent position at another company so wish me luck. I would prefer contract work until I understand the UK software development industry better then I should be in a better position to find a company I would be happy at long-term.
Week-ends are better. If we don’t go on a UK adventure (see Andrea’s blog for details) we usually spend the time walking to the park and/or local baker (its safe to walk any where any time here in Lindfield), playing PS2, computer or board games with the kids(its cold and dark early in winter), watching videos or going to the movies, going to the in-door swimming pool, visiting friends or having them round to visit and other such fun things. Once a month I have a poker evening with the boys (about 6 of us) but I only have one drink as drink-driving (not “drunk-driving” – not sure why the present tense is used in the UK) is a serious offence here and results in going to jail where you have to be bailed out and your sentencing (about a year later) usually results in a hefty fine and loss of your drivers license.
Cheers Si
I get the impression that a number of friends and family want to hear about life in the UK from my perspective. The short description below (originally an email to family members) sums things up for me at the moment.
My work days consist of leaving home for work at 7:25 am for a 1 hour door-to-door commute via bicycle and train (what ever the weather - even snow and sleet), doing exactly what I am instructed to do without question or input and returning home at about 5:45 pm. Work day evenings consist of, helping with baby while Andrea cooks the supper, occasionally helping the kids with home work, chatting to the kids about our day while we eat supper and either reading to them or watching a move before they go to bed at 9 pm. Late evening consists of about 30 min of chores, like stacking the dish washer, loading the washing machine and hanging cloths, then either vegging in front of the telly or if I am not too tired working on some personal software project till I go to bed between 11 and mid-night and waking at 6 am to start the whole process again.
I am currently in the process of trying to find contract work or a permanent position at another company so wish me luck. I would prefer contract work until I understand the UK software development industry better then I should be in a better position to find a company I would be happy at long-term.
Week-ends are better. If we don’t go on a UK adventure (see Andrea’s blog for details) we usually spend the time walking to the park and/or local baker (its safe to walk any where any time here in Lindfield), playing PS2, computer or board games with the kids(its cold and dark early in winter), watching videos or going to the movies, going to the in-door swimming pool, visiting friends or having them round to visit and other such fun things. Once a month I have a poker evening with the boys (about 6 of us) but I only have one drink as drink-driving (not “drunk-driving” – not sure why the present tense is used in the UK) is a serious offence here and results in going to jail where you have to be bailed out and your sentencing (about a year later) usually results in a hefty fine and loss of your drivers license.
Cheers Si
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL PRECIOUS HUSBAND!!!!!
Today Simon turns 39, and I simply can't believe that when I met him he was a youngster of just 21 with his whole life ahead of him and the idea of being almost 40 an unimaginable thought. He had long hair, a number of earrings (and a gorgeous bod) and was a young BSc student when we met, today he is a wise, sincere and loyal man (and still has a pretty good bod) who I can't believe I am lucky enough to be married to.
We have been together 18 years and I believe we have been some of the lucky ones - I can truthfully say that we have grown together rather then apart and the years have only strengthened our deep love and respect for each other.....Simon is my best friend, my confidant, my lover, the father of my beautiful children and my safe place.
So happy birthday to you Si, I know the year hasn't started off as easily as you would have hoped, and I think the prospect of 40 is making you restless and eager to finally do your own thing and realise some more of your dreams, but be patient my love, your time will come and you will find all the happiness, satisfaction and peace you so deserve.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!
We have been together 18 years and I believe we have been some of the lucky ones - I can truthfully say that we have grown together rather then apart and the years have only strengthened our deep love and respect for each other.....Simon is my best friend, my confidant, my lover, the father of my beautiful children and my safe place.
So happy birthday to you Si, I know the year hasn't started off as easily as you would have hoped, and I think the prospect of 40 is making you restless and eager to finally do your own thing and realise some more of your dreams, but be patient my love, your time will come and you will find all the happiness, satisfaction and peace you so deserve.
I LOVE YOU!!!!!
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Sunday 25th January 2009
It is 6.45 pm and already I can hear my little bed calling.....oh the thought of an entire nights sleep seems too good to be true....and of course it is, but I figure if I go up about the same time as Megan and Phillip I should get a couple of hours before my littlest needs a feed, and the way I feel tonight those couple of hours will be total bliss!
We have had a very busy weekend and I am in that nice tired state where dosing on the couch in front of the central heating is all that I feel moved to do and even typing this entry is more activity then I am wanting right now.....Saturday involved cleaning house and cooking in preparation for Simon's birthday celebration in the evening and today included mounds and mounds of ironing and an impromptu trip to the village for gifts.
Once again spending time with Rob, Kerry, AJ and Lisel on Saturday night was everything we hoped for and more and I think Si's first birthday in England was a success.....he was relaxed and happy and we spent hours laughing and chatting like much older friends then we actually are.....maybe it is our common "South Africaniss" that has forged such a strong bond so quickly, but like I have said before, I really thank god for sending these wonderful people into our lives.
Today as I trudged through the village high street in the pouring rain looking for my dh's birthday gift (no it wasn't a last thought, I knew what I was going to get all along....just needed to have the opportunity to go and get it) I found myself thinking longingly of "Pavillion"style shopping....somehow the charm of a little English country village high street is diluted when you have to literally charge from shop to shop jumping puddles in an attempt to get out of the rain, and once you have your purchases you have to "waterproof" them in about 6 plastic bags (very uneco friendly) so that you can get them back to the car....in these moments thoughts of piped music and elevators and shops under one roof taunted me.....but hey, shopping in the rain, another FIRST so guess I need to stop complaining.
We have had a very busy weekend and I am in that nice tired state where dosing on the couch in front of the central heating is all that I feel moved to do and even typing this entry is more activity then I am wanting right now.....Saturday involved cleaning house and cooking in preparation for Simon's birthday celebration in the evening and today included mounds and mounds of ironing and an impromptu trip to the village for gifts.
Once again spending time with Rob, Kerry, AJ and Lisel on Saturday night was everything we hoped for and more and I think Si's first birthday in England was a success.....he was relaxed and happy and we spent hours laughing and chatting like much older friends then we actually are.....maybe it is our common "South Africaniss" that has forged such a strong bond so quickly, but like I have said before, I really thank god for sending these wonderful people into our lives.
Today as I trudged through the village high street in the pouring rain looking for my dh's birthday gift (no it wasn't a last thought, I knew what I was going to get all along....just needed to have the opportunity to go and get it) I found myself thinking longingly of "Pavillion"style shopping....somehow the charm of a little English country village high street is diluted when you have to literally charge from shop to shop jumping puddles in an attempt to get out of the rain, and once you have your purchases you have to "waterproof" them in about 6 plastic bags (very uneco friendly) so that you can get them back to the car....in these moments thoughts of piped music and elevators and shops under one roof taunted me.....but hey, shopping in the rain, another FIRST so guess I need to stop complaining.
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Thursday 22nd January 2009
Shew (now there is a "South Africanism" for you) it is lovely to have the whole day at home with only the children's collection at 3pm this afternoon to tempt me out of doors.....the weather has turned "typically" English winter over the last couple of days and although it is warmer (7 degrees) it is wet and windy and GREY....finally the grey skies I have heard so much about - honestly, I do prefer the subzero temps with electric blue skies, but hey you can't have it all so I will hunker down and live with it for a couple more days before I really start moaning.
My plans for today are simple.....to do as little as possible......I finally have Pedal Studio under control and down to the planned 1-2 hours per day which is great and I have no social plans so I am going to cook Nick some food and then do some housework and chill with my baby boy.
I commented to Simon this morning that 3 months ago I was literally gagging to get out the house and would do ANYTHING for SOMETHING to do and now I am quite content, I live a whirl of a social life with some fantastic girls and I am actually looking forward to some time on my own....not too much mind you, but today is perfect.
I also don't think it will do Nick any harm to be home for the day, with London on Monday, walking at Wakehurst on Tuesday, Kindermusiek and tea with Hilary on Wednesday and walking at Sheffield Park tomorrow it has also been a hell of a week for him and some home time is probably not a bad idea.
My plans for today are simple.....to do as little as possible......I finally have Pedal Studio under control and down to the planned 1-2 hours per day which is great and I have no social plans so I am going to cook Nick some food and then do some housework and chill with my baby boy.
I commented to Simon this morning that 3 months ago I was literally gagging to get out the house and would do ANYTHING for SOMETHING to do and now I am quite content, I live a whirl of a social life with some fantastic girls and I am actually looking forward to some time on my own....not too much mind you, but today is perfect.
I also don't think it will do Nick any harm to be home for the day, with London on Monday, walking at Wakehurst on Tuesday, Kindermusiek and tea with Hilary on Wednesday and walking at Sheffield Park tomorrow it has also been a hell of a week for him and some home time is probably not a bad idea.
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Wednesday 21st January 2009
What a CRAZY start to the week, I have LOVED being involved with Pedal Studio and it has kept me out of mischief....in fact last night I literally fell into bed before 7pm - although to be fair that had more to do with this damn sore throat then work, but it feels really good to be mentally working again.
I have just been reading my friend Cheryl Goodenough's blog (Cheryl and her family have recently moved to Australia) and I fell in love with her most recent post so I have copied it to share with you all....as far as I know it isn't original so some of you may have read it before, but it really touched me.
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. (I have been doing plenty of walking, now I just have to remember the smiling)
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day (Oh yes)
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today. (Love this one...works for me)
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation and/or prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured IN plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon (not sure how well that will fit into the budget!), broccoli, almonds, & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. (LOVE LOVE LOVE that one!)
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. (Oh yes)
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or e-mail / skype them to death!) [Or put it on your blog and hope they'll go and read it regularly!]
37. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life, so make the most of it and enjoy the ride. [I LOVE that]
40. Share this with those you care about. I just did. May your troubles be less. May your blessings be more. May nothing but happiness come through your door!
I have just been reading my friend Cheryl Goodenough's blog (Cheryl and her family have recently moved to Australia) and I fell in love with her most recent post so I have copied it to share with you all....as far as I know it isn't original so some of you may have read it before, but it really touched me.
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. (I have been doing plenty of walking, now I just have to remember the smiling)
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day (Oh yes)
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today. (Love this one...works for me)
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation and/or prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured IN plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon (not sure how well that will fit into the budget!), broccoli, almonds, & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk, and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past, negative thoughts, or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. (LOVE LOVE LOVE that one!)
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. (Oh yes)
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful, or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or e-mail / skype them to death!) [Or put it on your blog and hope they'll go and read it regularly!]
37. Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life, so make the most of it and enjoy the ride. [I LOVE that]
40. Share this with those you care about. I just did. May your troubles be less. May your blessings be more. May nothing but happiness come through your door!
Monday, 19 January 2009
Monday 19th January 2009
I am taking my husband to the South African Embassy in London and he will NEVER want to go back again..........to say I had a hell of a day is the understatement of the century and it reminded me of all the things I used to find frustrating with Home Affairs.....no, to be fair, I must change that, our last experience with Home Affairs in South Africa was actually very efficient and I have no complaints.....but the embassy here....now that is something else all together.
Having made my way up to London on the early train I spent a truly lovely couple of hours with my cuz wandering around the Covent Garden, Leister Square, Piccadilly Circus area - we chatted and chatted and as he is very knowledgeable on the history of London it was like having my own personal tour guide at times - I LOVED it as I find the English history one of the greatest advantages of living here.
Andrew took me for coffee in the most divine little coffee shop with edible treats to die for and we snuggled up and enjoyed the aroma of the different coffees and chatted some more while Nicholas worked his magic and charmed all the patrons in the place (all 8 of us and you have to share tables with strangers....wonderful, wish I had taken my camera....sigh). After coffee it was time for the embassy and all I will say is that it was a totally unsuccessful trip and I will have to go back in a couple of weeks to once again try and sort out the documentation.....Enough said!
Lunch to calm my nerves and then back on the train home....a long and at times frustrating day, but spending time with Andrew and seeing his new studio made it all worthwhile. Nicholas was an absolute saint and I am convinced I have been blessed with the most laid back baby in the world!
Having made my way up to London on the early train I spent a truly lovely couple of hours with my cuz wandering around the Covent Garden, Leister Square, Piccadilly Circus area - we chatted and chatted and as he is very knowledgeable on the history of London it was like having my own personal tour guide at times - I LOVED it as I find the English history one of the greatest advantages of living here.
Andrew took me for coffee in the most divine little coffee shop with edible treats to die for and we snuggled up and enjoyed the aroma of the different coffees and chatted some more while Nicholas worked his magic and charmed all the patrons in the place (all 8 of us and you have to share tables with strangers....wonderful, wish I had taken my camera....sigh). After coffee it was time for the embassy and all I will say is that it was a totally unsuccessful trip and I will have to go back in a couple of weeks to once again try and sort out the documentation.....Enough said!
Lunch to calm my nerves and then back on the train home....a long and at times frustrating day, but spending time with Andrew and seeing his new studio made it all worthwhile. Nicholas was an absolute saint and I am convinced I have been blessed with the most laid back baby in the world!
Sunday, 18 January 2009
Sunday 18th January 2009
A post by one of my blog buddy's the other day really hit home, and made me realise that sometimes the thought that you will NEVER return to South Africa is enough to send you into a downwards spiral of homesickness fed by this inevitability. As with anything, if a door is firmly closed in front of you, the picture of what is behind it increases in importance, until we almost obsess about how wonderful it would be to get through that door, we hammer on it and stare at it longingly and everything else around us pales into insignificance.....but open a window next to the door and the fresh air flows through, you can see what is behind the door with clearer eyes and you know that if you are absolutely desperate you can always climb through that window.
So now, in the interests of helping Simon through this rough patch, we have "opened a window" and decided that we will remain in this country for the years necessary for my children to naturalise (due to my British passport) thereby giving them all the opportunities possible as they will be dual citizens and can make up their own minds as they grow up as to where they want to live and study....and at the end of this time, Si and I will reassess our situation and make a decision as to where we want to grow old.
I cannot help but hope that in this time, Simon will find his feet and grow to love the English way of life as I have, or if not, to at least embrace the good parts of it and accept those that he finds difficult at the moment.....I am hoping that now that he no longer feels obligated to remain here he will return to enjoying the experience or adventure as I have so often called it and in doing this will find some of the peace that the rest of us have.
So now, in the interests of helping Simon through this rough patch, we have "opened a window" and decided that we will remain in this country for the years necessary for my children to naturalise (due to my British passport) thereby giving them all the opportunities possible as they will be dual citizens and can make up their own minds as they grow up as to where they want to live and study....and at the end of this time, Si and I will reassess our situation and make a decision as to where we want to grow old.
I cannot help but hope that in this time, Simon will find his feet and grow to love the English way of life as I have, or if not, to at least embrace the good parts of it and accept those that he finds difficult at the moment.....I am hoping that now that he no longer feels obligated to remain here he will return to enjoying the experience or adventure as I have so often called it and in doing this will find some of the peace that the rest of us have.
Saturday, 17 January 2009
Saturday 17th January 2009
What a CRAZY last couple of days. Apart from taking some time to recover from my pharangytis, I have also been trying to obtain some kind of travel document for my darling Nicholas as the opportunity presented itself for us to return to South Africa for our intended visit in April.....well I have exhausted absolutely every avenue and paid a fortune in phone bills only to determine that we definitely won't be coming back as Nick is in fact not entitled to a British passport and it is going to take up to a year for his South African one to come through....I know I know, sounds insane, but that is "African" time for you, and the fact that he was born in a foreign country seems to complicate things tremendously.
Not all was doom and gloom though, I had a very fortuitous conversation with my cuz on Friday morning and I am now working for him on a part time basis (from home) administering the website for his latest business....Pedalstudio.....Andy has always been a fantastic businessman with great ideas so I am sure that this one is going to fly, and he seems quite chuffed to have me along to take away some of those admin headaches for him. Going up to London (on my own with Nick again) on Monday to check out his studio and then to the SA Embassy to sort out Nicholas's birth registration and passport application.
Spent most of today checking out houses....yes back looking for the perfect one at the perfect rent.....isn't that typical of most of us who don't own our own homes - once again nothing I would even let my dogs live in so we will keep looking and at least every time we get home we realise just how lucky we are.
Off swimming at the Olympus on Sunday which is always fun and then London on Monday and tea and a walk with the NCT girls on Tuesday so lots to look forward to again this week. Si seems to be feeling a little better and is whistling around the house again which is always a good sign.
Not all was doom and gloom though, I had a very fortuitous conversation with my cuz on Friday morning and I am now working for him on a part time basis (from home) administering the website for his latest business....Pedalstudio.....Andy has always been a fantastic businessman with great ideas so I am sure that this one is going to fly, and he seems quite chuffed to have me along to take away some of those admin headaches for him. Going up to London (on my own with Nick again) on Monday to check out his studio and then to the SA Embassy to sort out Nicholas's birth registration and passport application.
Spent most of today checking out houses....yes back looking for the perfect one at the perfect rent.....isn't that typical of most of us who don't own our own homes - once again nothing I would even let my dogs live in so we will keep looking and at least every time we get home we realise just how lucky we are.
Off swimming at the Olympus on Sunday which is always fun and then London on Monday and tea and a walk with the NCT girls on Tuesday so lots to look forward to again this week. Si seems to be feeling a little better and is whistling around the house again which is always a good sign.
Wednesday, 14 January 2009
Wednesday 14th January 2009
I have arrived at the opinion that it is the little things that can derail a successful immigration just as they can derail a marriage......you can only hope to be one of the lucky ones and when one member of the family is struggling and unsettled the rest can balance the boat so to speak until you are once again in "calm" waters.
9 months into his time here my dh is really going through a rough patch, I think it it predominantly due to the fact that he is restless at work and looking for greater challenges. On talking about it last night he mentioned that it is one thing to be frustrated at work when the rest of your life is in a comfort zone but when EVERYTHING you have known your whole life has changed it is all the more unsettling.
Fortunately Si is one of the wisest men I know and he enters into no decision lightly so although he is finding it tough (and I don't think cycling home after a 40 min train ride in the pitch dark at subzero temperatures is helping any) he is by no means considering throwing in the towel at this stage and I am sure that slowly but surely he will find his footing again. He is certainly not desperately unhappy and still finds a tremendous amount of pleasure in our family and the time that we spend together over the weekends. One thing it has however made me realise is that you can never really say "well that is it, we have done it" as things change daily and what is fine today can push you over the edge tomorrow.
I on the other hand am going through a particularly good patch (which helps tremendously with keeping that aforementioned boat steady as it would be dreadful if we were both rocky) and am loving the way my life is going.....I love the time at home with Nicholas and just enjoying being his mom, I now enjoy doing reading and homework with my older two and I enjoy going out to meet new people. Above all I think I am enjoying the freedom to walk and walk and walk......decided to walk to Kindermusiek this morning (roughly 10kms round trip) and have come home feeling restored and rejuvenated (if exhausted lol) and ready to stand by my man!
9 months into his time here my dh is really going through a rough patch, I think it it predominantly due to the fact that he is restless at work and looking for greater challenges. On talking about it last night he mentioned that it is one thing to be frustrated at work when the rest of your life is in a comfort zone but when EVERYTHING you have known your whole life has changed it is all the more unsettling.
Fortunately Si is one of the wisest men I know and he enters into no decision lightly so although he is finding it tough (and I don't think cycling home after a 40 min train ride in the pitch dark at subzero temperatures is helping any) he is by no means considering throwing in the towel at this stage and I am sure that slowly but surely he will find his footing again. He is certainly not desperately unhappy and still finds a tremendous amount of pleasure in our family and the time that we spend together over the weekends. One thing it has however made me realise is that you can never really say "well that is it, we have done it" as things change daily and what is fine today can push you over the edge tomorrow.
I on the other hand am going through a particularly good patch (which helps tremendously with keeping that aforementioned boat steady as it would be dreadful if we were both rocky) and am loving the way my life is going.....I love the time at home with Nicholas and just enjoying being his mom, I now enjoy doing reading and homework with my older two and I enjoy going out to meet new people. Above all I think I am enjoying the freedom to walk and walk and walk......decided to walk to Kindermusiek this morning (roughly 10kms round trip) and have come home feeling restored and rejuvenated (if exhausted lol) and ready to stand by my man!
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