Tuesday 13th July 2010

Earlier today I received a phone call from Phillip at school letting me know that his choir was putting on a performance in 40 minutes and he had forgotten to tell me and could I come.....and I could go, no problems, no stress, no cancelled appointments, just pack a snack for Nick to keep him quiet and off I went. During this packing process it dawned on me that for the first time in my life I am a real stay-at-home-mom.

I have played at it before but it has never been my full focus in the way that it is now. Both Megan and Phillip where at nursery at 10 months and although I did work for myself for much of the time, and was always available to them provided I had notice, I was also always very busy being me and kinda like a stay-at-home-mom who isn't really :0)

That said, I have absolutely no regrets and I think that that is a good thing, we all make mistakes and sometimes we look back on a period of our lives with 20/20 hindsight and think we may have done things differently, but I still don't allow myself to regret the decisions I have made. They have formed me and shaped my life to what it is now, and now for the first time I am able to step back, breath and say "hey, this is okay, this is good" and not feel like I have to prove myself to be the superwoman I really am not.

Being in England I have been able to "reinvent" myself, and choose a different path from the one I was on, and who gets that lucky in life. I was the entrepreneur, the achiever, the ever busy, super efficient go getter and now.......well now I am just "Lady Laid Back" lol, one of my very dear friends said to me the other day (and she is the me of old), "Andrea I wish I could be as chilled and laid back about everything as you are" and I was like WHAT, and then it dawned on me, I am laid back, I spend my days looking after my family and enjoying the privilege of really staying at home and making them my main focus, and for the right now, now that I have given myself permission to, I am LOVING it.

As I have never been able to sit still and do need to be busy and challenged I am also very blessed to have a hobby, or passion which feeds all my needs for creativity and as it is an ever learning, ever growing process it also gets the synapses firing and the brain juices flowing whenever I need it to.

So I have a double bonus, my kids and dh are happier than they have ever been and I am available to them at all times and on a moments notice, and I get to indulge my great love daily, get to take part in fantastic photo challenges with talented ladies all over the world and enter contests where my work is judged by photographers that I can only aspire to emulate.....how lucky am I and how awesome is my life.....thank you to my wonderful family and friends for letting me be just who I am right now :0)