As I stood this morning stacking my dishwasher I was struck but the stark contrast in my life today as opposed to yesterday - yesterday I was a business woman focused on producing a state of the art dynamic website, without children as they were all being taken care of by others, and with work as my primary concern....today I am back to vacuuming carpets, convincing Nicholas he actually wants to sleep, stacking dishwashers, cooking dinner and washing clothes - is it any wonder that my head is all over the place and I sometimes feel like I am going mad. I know that I am not the only woman with this life, but for me it is new and scary and overwhelming and I wonder if I will ever get on top of it.
I so cherished the peace when I first arrive here and yet somehow I have managed to find myself back on the treadmill running like a crazed hamster..... I have NEVER in my life worked as hard as I am now and worn as many hats (I am a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, a friend, an employee and a business owner), and I don't know whether it is because I am just plain stupid or because God is giving me an amazing opportunity to grow as a person and find inner strengths that I never knew existed....So am I crazy?
Maybe but one thing I know for sure is that when I look back on this first year in England in just a few days it will be nothing if not interesting and filled with challenges and I have begun growing into the kind of capable, strong woman I have always admired....I have LIVED this last year and although I may be totally on my knees at the moment and sometimes desperate for the opportunity to just lie on the couch with absolutely NOTHING to do, I don't have a single regret and that is what gets me through the next hour and the next and the next and the next.
8 comments:
YOU ARE A VERY CAPABLE WOMAN - you have been blessed with many talents and gifts that you are using daily - well done for choosing to take on more and more - you are right for stopping to realise that you are doing a lot and that you need to time management BIG TIME and factor in some down time and some couch potatoe treats that you deserve.
Carrying on like you are now can only lead to burn out and sadly the family suffering - cause you canot stay happy and healthy and enjoy it all if you are burning the candle at both ends - so you need to decide which hat are you wearing and for how long then take it off and put another on - but one of the hats must be - CHILL OUT ANDREA RELAX HAT.
love and support
linda
Hiya, having spent a morning on the world's richest diamond mine doing a presentation in my prim little business suit, surrounded by machinery etc, I have to admit to being totally saturated by ugliness and steel. That the mine supplies 80% of the GDP of my beloved host country didn't once factor into the equation of course as I am primarily driven by beauty, not money. It was an such a wonderful surprise to come back to your blog to get a bit of perspective. I must also admit to visiting Beryldene's blog regularly (does that make me a bit of a voyeur?? Hope not coz she's so delightful!). I am enthralled by her sense of humour and often want to comment on her ideas (such as the whole organic growing thing, which we do too)but I can't comment on her blog, it won't let me in. Let me, please, please!! Take care Andy, sometimes we forget to take time for ourselves as we're too busy trying to be everything to everyone.
Enjoy all the different hats - while you can.
Welcome to the club sista. Now where's that little green pill.....Did I mention that I got a stash of St John's wort? Uhu - discounted - half price - bought 6 bottles!
I'm de-lurking, just to tell you how much I enjoy reading your blog. I'm in awe of how well your family has adapted to life in another country. I think the positive approach you have had to life in the UK is brilliant - so many people seem to spend the first couple of years moaning about the weather...
We almost emigrated to the UK, but didn't quite make it (long story!) If we ever had to make the move I think I'd have to ring you up for some pointers on how to do it the right way!
Lin - thanks for support gf, you are my rock and I count on your strength and support every single day....specially when we doing housework together lol
Nita, Bee is the BEST and to know her is to totally LOVE her...not sure why you can't comment on her blog but she will be in here soon and I am sure she will check why...Bee meet Anita, one of my oldest and bestest friends - Anita meet Bee, my PERSON
Gill, welcome...lovely to meet you and thanks for your kind words, glad you are enjoying the blog!
xxx
A
I battle with this inner argument all the time. Like you I want to do it all, be it all & experience it all but it does come at a cost & that is to ourselves. Sometimes I am so worn out I don't know how I carry on - then - once I am rested I am dying to jump back on again!
And's GF - our friend Linnie Loo once introduced us to the idea that most of us could RUN RUSSIA is we wanted to, and I think sometimes we don't realise how close we come to acually achieveing it! GF you are AMAZING -what I love about you is that when you say something, I acually brace myself, beause you go out AND DO IT! You have such zest for life, and you once told me as we sat in your lounge in Stoney Hill Lane, sipping tea out of your special cups (sigh) that you LOVE being busy - I think whilst you've enjoyed your down time on arriving in the UK, you are a new soul GF, like your Phil, with the wisdom of an old soul and you thrive on trying and starting new things,and experiencing eveyrthing life has to offer!.... and the best part about it, is you believe YOU CAN!
Nita - I am absolutely DELIGHTED that you pop you head into my little corner! But more importantly that you find something of value in the words I leave there. Lovely to meet you :-)!! A friend of And's is a friend of mine! Can't understand why you can't comment - will check it out?!?! Hope to see you for a virtual cappuccino soon!
Post a Comment