Weekend 20th - 23rd March

After a very very stressful start to the morning organising the 500 things I needed to do before we could leave for our weekend away we were finally on the road at around 10am. As we had decided to take advantage of the fact that Si had a days leave to search for our new car we started our journey by heading up towards London to have a look at a couple of Renault Scenics.

I have always loved the Scenic and the second one we saw was the charm, so we are now the proud owners of a 1999 Renault Scenic 1.6l. We decided not to go with another people carrier for various reasons, not the least of which is the cost of running them which if you have one you will know is prohibitively expensive. We also decided against a new car at this stage due to insurance costs and monthly repayments and at just over £1000 we were well pleased with the deal.

At this point, I feel I must put in an aside about how I feel I have changed since our move here......2 years ago when our Uno was stolen if Simon had even suggested a slightly beaten up 10 year old car to replace it I would have looked at him like he had totally lost his marbles, and now just 24 short months later I am thrilled to bits with the prospect and eager to take my "new baby" home......have my standards dropped?

I don't think so, I think, that for me, I have realised that EVERYTHING in life is about sacrifice, and in my case I have chosen to ever so slightly lower my standard of living so that I can improve my quality of life. I have really come to understand that in my case it is not what we own that makes me happy or how big our house is or how new and fancy our car is.....for me it is about the freedom to live my life without fear and with first world services, about knowing that I will be taken care of in my old age if I am unable to take care of myself and knowing that my children have access to good medical care and education regardless of my financial situation, about knowing that I am unlikely to wake with strangers in my house and all that it entails......and so it was with great excitement that I proudly drove our little scenic off the lot.

A horrendous number of hours later a very tired Robertson family finally drove into the grounds of Devon Cliffs in the little town of Exmouth on the English South West coast......OMG, I have never seen anything quite like it, it is absolutely HUGE with approximately 1050 mobile homes (caravans) situated on the site and an entertainment complex the size of a small South African hotel. To say the children where hysterical with excitement at the prospect is the understatement of the century but after checking in we literally collapsed into bed eager to rest and recover for the morning.

Saturday morning dawned with perfect weather and after a stunning bacon and egg breakfast in Cayne and Lin's caravan we were off to explore and let the children enjoy some time taking part in the vast number of activities laid on for them. The afternoon was spent swimming in the stunning indoor swimming pool which little Nick just loved and then it was a couple of hours on the beach enjoying the warm afternoon.

A quick look around the new mobile homes for sale, accompanied by much laughter once Lin and I figured out that Si and Cayne were actually working out if they could get away with buying one and putting it on a piece of land somewhere lol....what these men will do. In all seriousness though, they really are fantastic and we would all LOVE to own one as a nice holiday home and maybe somewhere to ultimately retire, I am talking 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms kind of fantastic.....you have to see them to believe them. Another early night after a lovely day filled with fun and friendship.

Sunday, being Mother's Day here, was about family and we spent some very happy hours on the beach in the wonderful sunshine while the Andrew family enjoyed their quality time up near the entertainment complex on the on site putt putt course. The weather was absolutely perfect and I even had to apply not inconsiderable amounts of factor 32 sun block to the children.....so lovely to lie on the hot sand and soak up the heat - Nick was in his absolute element and just sat happily playing in the sand while Si and the older two changed the whole face of the beach digging holes and making dams and organising all the English children to do their bidding lol.

The resort offers a huge number of activities for the children at an additional cost and we all agreed early on that we weren't going to get caught up in spending a fortune when there was so much also on offer for free. The one thing we did agree to however was the Water Walkerz which are basically huge air filled balls which allowed the children to run like little hamsters on the top of the swimming pool for 15 mins on Sunday night. It was some of the best money we spent over the weekend and all four children absolutely ADORED it.....Linnie and I also had great fun getting up to all kinds of mischief with the air hose used to fill the balls and there was much raucous South African laughter in the air......food for the soul I tell you, food for the soul!

Monday arrived all to quickly and after breakfast and a final swim it was time to say goodbye.....very emotional for both Lin and I and more then a few tears were shed before we finally climbed into our cars and went our separate ways. It is so hard being so far away from this family who are as close to us as any can be, what I wouldn't give to have them down the road......even my little Phillip, who in the past would have been far to "macho" to admit missing a girl said how much he missed little Jordan and how awesome it would be if they lived closer.

A wonderful weekend with wonderful friends making wonderful memories......definitely something to be repeated in the not too distant future.

Wednesday 18th March 2009

Awesome day.....definitely a diamond!

After leaving Nick with his day mother (or child minder as they are referred to here) who is also my dear friend Catherine I literally hit the ground running in order to get all my equipment set up for my first OFFICIAL day at Tums2tots....I was completely terrified if the truth be told, but it didn't take me long to hit my stride and I ended up LOVING every minute of it and having and absolute ball with the kiddies I photographed.

I had three sets to work with, two single babies and one baby with her big brother, fortunately I knew all the moms so that made it nice and relaxed and it was a lovely way to start my new business.

Nicholas also coped extremely well and was as happy as Larry asleep in the pram when I arrived to collect him. I count myself very lucky to have found Catherine as a friend first and a child minder second as I am totally at peace with Nick being with her and it actually wasn't hard at all to leave him with her as I know how much she loves him.

After a delicious Mac and Cheese cooked entirely by my clever daughter I spent the evening at a PTA meeting for Lindfield primary....have always found it the best way to make friends and find my feet at a new school and I am once again glad I went as a couple of mom's approached me as "fearless Phillip's" mother (once again my son's reputation proceeds me though this time in a good way) and suggested playdates with their son's from his class. Phil is certainly settling well and seems very happy with the move which is a wonderful thing.

Megs is preparing for SATS at the moment and is carrying a pretty heavy homework load, which she says, is interfering with her hectic social life......secretly I am enjoying it as she is home more ;-). She is still very happy here and looking forward to the upcoming year 6 performance and her trip to France which all kick off into high gear once SATS are over.

Off to Devon with the Andrew family for a long weekend on Friday so very excited, plan to sit and talk and talk and talk and just revel in being with old friends. Also checking out a car on the way so who knows.....hold thumbs for us please.

Monday 16th March 2009

Just come in from a lovely walk to take Phil up to school, the daffodils are now blooming everywhere and it can be quite breath taking to come round a corner and have your senses bombarded by the perfect yellow of their petals.

The weather is certainly warming up and has been averaging between 13 and 17 degrees for the last couple of days....I know by SA standards that is freezing, but here it is actually a LOT warmer then is sounds and yesterday Simon and Nick were actually sitting in the sun without their shirts on and the temp was around 15 degrees.

Spent a wonderful afternoon with Rob, Kerry, Phillip, Lisa and various assorted children yesterday as a late birthday celebration and as soon as we arrived Simon's and my noses lifted into the air in the appreciative smell of the first braai of the season. Stunning food, awesome company and beautiful weather helped to calm us after a very hectic and at times stressful week and my dh was asleep on the couch a little after 9pm last night......so lovely to see him relaxed and happy - amazing what a little sunshine and good old fashioned Afrikaans hospitality can do.

A slow day for me today, still prepping for the first official day of Tums2Tots on Wednesday and I am quite sure that by bedtime little Nick is never going to want to see a camera again as he is having to be my model in every shot. Once again so blessed to be able to spend another day doing what I love!

A little bit of fun

I have completed a couple of these "blog questionairs" over time and I quite like the information they will leave behind about me for future generations.

Give us a general overview of your daily schedule

Wake up at a reasonable hour (around 7am) to have kids ready for school by 8.30am (so civilised). Either housework away the day (my average Monday) or spend time with other mums of young children generally enjoying the outdoors.....I try to walk about 30kms a week now and I can really feel it when something gets in the way like miz weather or an overly hectic schedule. Collect the big kids at 3pm most days and do the homework routine then dinner and blogging before bed.

Tell us about 3 things you think are advantages to living in the UK, as opposed to Africa, & why

Walking - I think circumstances, distance and social conditioning force us to use our cars far far to much in South Africa and it is only since being here that I have really got into walking. It is an incredible way to exercise and the weight has fallen off me since I have started. It is of course also totally safe to walk day and night on your own (or at least where I live it is, would be more careful in the bigger cities) so it gives you the freedom to use your feet instead of your car far more often.

The Choices - I find there is such a huge variety of everything here and the choices as far as food is concerned is simply AMAZING....I have eaten and experienced things here I didn't know existed and I find the quality is generally far superior to what you find in SA stores - I buy Woolies quality from my local "Pick 'n Pay" type store and it is the norm not the expensive exception. I also LOVE all the choices we have for entertainment, and although it is not all cheap there is just so much to do that you could be busy with a different activity every single day of every single weekend for a year and still have left overs.

The education system......I am sure there are those that disagree, and I do think it has a lot to do with where you live and what catchment you are in, but in my personal experience the system of education in this county is very good and my children are both being challenged to think and be individuals in a way that was never encouraged in South Africa.

Name 3 things you prefer about Africa compared to the UK & justify your answers.

The Weather - probably a totally predictable answer. Although I am coping with the winter, I do long for crisp sun tried sheets as opposed to lanky ones dried over central heating and I miss the sound of a huge thunderstorm which has built up during the day.

The sea - I am a picean and therefore a fish at heart and I really really miss the sea and the sound of the waves CRASHING on the shore, here the swell is like a dam on a windy day and somehow although it can be beautiful in the right light it just isn't the same.

The lack of Health and Safety - I do understand the reason for it, there are 68 000 000 people living on this island which is the space of KZN, but it is totally over the top and sometimes goes from the sublime to the ridiculous.......I mean how dangerous can it be for a child to jump into a swimming pool instead of using the steps, but hey ho got to get used to it I suppose.

Give us 5 tips on improving our basic photography skills

Get a real camera and don't try and take photos with your mobile phone, that is for talking for goodness sake.

If you are buying a camera spend a little extra getting a 10x optical zoom so that you don't have to use the digital zoom on your camera which drastically reduces the quality of your pics - in fact turn the digital zoom off all together and forget it exists. Once you have a camera with a good zoom capacity, get in close....it is quite acceptable today to cut off bits of head etc as long as it is done intentionally and enhances the shot.

Be patient.....the perfect shot will come, but probably not in the first 5 minutes, sometimes you need to take 100's of photos to capture the perfect one and that is the beauty of digital it gives us all that freedom.

Get a good balance between "posed" shots which I do believe are important and those that tell a story.....some of my best photos have come just before or after the pose while everybody is getting themselves ready - I have them all together just where I want them, but it is not necessarily as stiff. If you are "posing" a photo, try and make it interesting and get people at different heights, let children lie on each other or sit back to back to keep things a bit more interesting.

Look behind the person in the photograph and be aware of what is in the background....this is something that you read about all the time, but you can't believe the difference to your photography if you start noticing things like moving cars and drain pipes and dirty shoes etc - if you really can't avoid a busy background try and blow it out with a very shallow depth of field i.e. open up your aperture as much as the camera will allow.

What advice would you give to anyone considering emigrating to the UK? (in a nutshell)

Keep your sense of humour at a maximum and your expectations at a minimum. It is not going to be easy but if you remain positive and remember your "pull" factor you can make it work anywhere.

Saturday 14th March 2009

Woke up extremely early this morning so that I could have a little bit of quiet time to watch a dvd I purchased recently on studio lighting. It was stunning to be curled up on the couch in a quiet house totally submerged in something I love.......it is so exciting that I am again going into a business which is my love and my passion - I am so grateful to have this opportunity and I CAN'T WAIT to get started.

When Si woke up he helped me clear our dining room so that it could become a "test studio" for the day and I have spend some very very happy hours tinkering around with my lights and taking some test shots of Nick.

It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful and supportive my dh is when it comes to my businesses and how he patiently tolerates the way they turn his life upside down and inside out.

I feel so blessed to have married this wonderful man and in just a couple of days time I will have been with him exactly half my life, 18 years.....wow a long long time, and we are still blissfully happy and totally in love which I guess makes me one of the lucky ones!

Quick catch up

What a crazy week......all good I am pleased to say just busy busy busy.

Monday Simon took the very long trip to Weston-Super-Mare to collect our loan car from Cayne and Linda, what a relief when he finally arrived home safe and sound. Catherine and I had lunch together in a gorgeous traditional Red Lion pub in Handcross (about 15 mins drive), Nick was an absolute super star and slept through the entire meal, so we got to enjoy a hot 3 course meal together and a good old fashioned chat.

Tuesday I spent the day at home frantically working on the Pedal Studio newsletter, some marketing ideas for Tums2Tots and looking for cars all in between entertaining my littlest, who although a very undemanding baby is deserving of some attention every now and then :-)

Wednesday was lovely and probably the highlight of the week. Catherine collected me a little after 9am and we went off to a fantastic music class which Nick will be attending when he is with her next week......she thought it would be a nice idea for me to see what he will be doing and meet the class leader and I must say I was very impressed. We then enjoyed another lunch together to celebrate Catherine's birthday this time and I had some of the most delish scampy I have eaten since being here so HOORAY finally a restaurant worth spending money in.

Thursday Nick and I were off to our Kindermusiek catch up class in Burgess Hill which was lovely as always and then through to Kerry for a quick lunch before home to housework. Kerry had a hernia op last week and has been at home resting and recuperating so it was lovely to spend some time together even if it was a bit short and not our normal whole day affair.

Friday was housework, housework, housework (vomit) I am so over this whole thing.....missing Rose more and more by the moment.

Every Cloud has a Silver Lining

Eish as we would say in South Africa, what a weekend!!!!! Now that it is all over and I can sit back and reflect, I have to be totally honest and say that although the events of the day itself were simply horrible, I may just have been given the best birthday present ever as a result......quite simply the gift of love and friendship.

I am simply awed by the kindness we were shown and I am overwhelmed by the concern from friends here.......considering that we have known these people such a short time it is wonderful to know how strong our bonds have grown.

The love and support that I received from my parents goes without saying and although I know it must have been so hard for them to hear me crying down the phone they gave me advice which helped tremendously and the encouragement I needed to just hang in there.

Once again Kerry and Rob were our hero's and I literally dreamt about Rob on his white charger on Saturday night (lol). These two people live their Christianity every single day of their lives and nothing is ever too much trouble, I only pray that one day I will be able to do for them even half of what they have done for us over the last 9 months.

As for Cayne and Linda, well words can't express how they have become family to us and are the people we ultimately turn to in a crisis. Even now, as I type, Si is on the train to Weston-Super-Mare to collect one of their cars to use for at least the next couple of weeks while we get on our feet and decide whether we want another people carrier or a smaller more fuel efficient car.....we may even buy the Vauxhall off them as Cayne is wanting to sell it on anyway, which would definitely kill two birds with one stone.

At this point I also have to mention the kindness of two wonderful people I haven't even met yet......John and Becky in Weston-Super-Mare who have lent Cayne one of their cars so that we can borrow his, I mean the selflessness of this action is incredible and I will forever be grateful to them.

So as I say, the cloud had a silver lining and the bonds of friendship I have received will make this birthday one I will NEVER forget.

I am off to a lovely lunch at a surprise location with Catherine today to celebrate the midpoint between our birthdays and Rob & Kerry have promised me a belated birthday celebration sometime next weekend so I have decided to delete the events of Saturday from my birthday database and make some new memories over the next 7 days.

Saturday 7th March 2009

The day of my 36th birthday, and what a day it has been, but more about that later. For now I want to write about the time leading up to my birthday and get down for the record some of the feelings and emotions that have been running through my life and colouring my days for last week.

It has been a week of more stones then diamonds for me and I have found myself feeling flat and frustrated, snapping at the children and muttering under my breath at Simon's actions. Realising that this behaviour and indeed the emotions that accompanied it were new and not necessarily something that I wanted to continue, I tried some of Bee's soul searching and that together with looooooong telephone conversations to Linnie finally brought me to the conclusion that it was the eminent arrival of my birthday that had me is such a bad state.

It is funny how I expected the destabilising effect of a big event like Christmas and as it was something that the whole family was going through together I felt I needed to be "strong" in order to help them through it. I was therefore totally unprepared for the effect my birthday would have, and in fact for the most part I didn't even realise it was having an effect, I just knew I felt horrid. I guess the break from routine and the customary dinner with my parents, the roast with bacon cabbage and Afrikaans beans and some delish pud to follow had me reeling, and it was only after I recognised this fact and made the conscious decision to pull myself together did my week start to improve.

Times like this just reemphasise for me the impact immigration truly has on ones life and you can be happy for months and months and months on end when suddenly something takes the wind from your sails and leaves you feeling totally deflated........I do believe however that each and every one of us has it within to stop, take a breath and move forward and that successful immigration is a decision, it is not something that just happens.

I have also learned a tremendous amount about myself through this process and have grown to like and respect the woman that I am. This comment is in no way meant to sound conceited, but this peace with myself has been a hard won prize and I thank God every single day of my life that we started on this journey for no matter where it ends, here or back in South Africa, we have all learned so much about ourselves and that is why I believe our immigration has been a success....it is because we have grown as people and has nothing to do with the amount of time that we have been away from home.

So it was with a happy and replenished heart that I awoke this morning to the sounds of my children and dh singing happy birthday and the smell of freshly cooked bacon and brewing coffee.....breakfast in bed was the order of the morning and then after a call from my parents we were off to Thorpe Park to recapture my youth and find the inner child again.

Or so I thought..........God and Aunty Madge (aka the bus) clearly had different ideas and about 10 minutes from our destination (75kms from home) Aunty Madge started to splutter and we only just managed to steer her off the M25 before she stalled completely which is never a good sign, but particularly in a fully automatic car.

As luck would have it I had received so many text messages from friends for my birthday that my mobile phone battery had gone flat and the dead screen meant we had absolutely no access to the contact details of the people who would be most likely to help......the Viljoens!

However, God was on our side and for some bazaar reason my Megan had included my friend Catherine's phone number in her mobile and it was with great relief that I reached Catherine and started the ball rolling as far as getting Kerry and Rob's number was concerned. I have to also put in at this stage that Catherine is fast becoming one of my friends I call in a crisis and I count myself very lucky the day she stopped me to tell me my brake lights weren't working.

It goes without saying that before long Rob was on his way to rescue us (again), but he was a full 90mins away so my little family set up camp on the side of the road (you aren't allowed to stay in your stationary car on the motorways here) and prepared to sit it out. The wind was blowing quite heavily and it was cold (fortunately I had taken advice from Lin ages ago to always keep two blanket in our car in the winter so at least we had those), but apart from that discomfort I must say we felt very safe and it didn't cross our minds for even a minute that we were in any kind of danger.

Before long we received a call from the Road Agency responsible for that section of road to find out where exactly we were and to our surprise they turned up not long after to check that we had a safe position to wait and gave us a space blanket to keep the children warm and offered to return with food and water for the children in two hours if Rob hadn't arrived. To say we were totally amazed is an understatement....def a first world experience.

Finally Rob arrived and we hooked the cars together to begin the long tow home, unfortunately about 15 mins in the weight ratio between the cars proved too much and the tow ring pulled out of the back of Rob's car leaving my dh without breaks on a hill....fortunately he didn't panic and just used the handbrake, but it gave me such a fright I think I turned 86 in that instant.

To cut a very very long, sad and exhausting story short we finally made it home and organised a tow company to fetch the car, when Si returned to meet them the police were there with a fine as our MOT had expired, unbeknown to us and without MOT the towers won't tow so as I type my poor husband is on the side of the road waiting for a flat bed to come and fetch the car and God alone knows what that is going to cost......so all in all my birthday has been shocking and I will gladly close my eyes on it tonight - maybe there was a reason I had such a bad feeling about it all week.

Wonderful News

On collecting Megan and Shannon from school today Megan's head teacher asked me if she could have a quick word......of course my heart started pounding (I really gotta start trusting my kids).......well there was no need for adrenalin, it was simply to let me know that Megan has had her reading retested and has improved so dramatically that she will no longer need extra time in her exams. She is still entitled to a reader if she wants one but at least all her time and hard work is paying off.

Monday 2nd March 2009

Such a stunning weekend! Tanya had a hell of a trip getting too us, there was a "jumper" on her line and the driver was unable to continue due to shock.....while I am thinking about that and at the risk of sounding completely insensitive, why if you decide you can no longer live with life do you need to throw yourself in front of a train? Not only do you end your life but you effect literally 100's of passengers in the process and forever change the life of the poor driver that hits you....surely it just optimises the selfishness of it all......sorry, did say I may sound insensitive, but I find it very thoughtless.

Moving on, after about 7 hours of travel Tanya finally arrived on my doorstep and as Si was out at poker for the evening, we were able to sit and chat and enjoy dinner, wine and a wonderful box of quality street all the while talking and talking and talking. Saturday morning was a nice lazy start with a wander into the village to show Tanya the sights and pick up some lovely lunch from the bakery. Tanya and Nick also got the chance to start getting to know each other properly......he is totally entranced with her and loved all the new songs she sang to him.

After lunch we jumped on the train to Brighton and spent the entire afternoon shopping and eating and talking and talking and talking........it was so lovely to be together again and the years literally fell away, we were back to laughing in the change rooms and telling each other which clothes suited and which didn't, just like we used to at school and I came home with a stunning new pair of jeans and lovely top and Tanya's suitcase was also a little bit fuller on the way home I think. After 5 hours and many miles walked we arrived home triumphant having finally found Phillip a much longed for Diabolo, and settled down for more wine and a lovely roast chicken for dinner. Early night as we were both exhausted from all our exercise.

Sunday we enjoyed a sleep in as Si looked after all my kids for us and we both surfaced around 9am for pancakes and then yet another walk, first into the village and then into the woods behind our home. Again we simply talked and talked and talked and all too soon our time was up and I was driving home from dropping her at the station with a big lump in my throat. I can't describe how I loved having her with me, she has always know me and as I said on Friday, probably knows more about me then anyone in the world.......we are going up to spend a weekend with her family in May and I just know the weeks won't be able to go by quickly enough.