We are off to an art exhibition at the children's school tonight which should be lovely , but the weather is icy again so not delighted to have to be taking Nicholas out....but what can we do, that is life now I guess.
Tuesday, 30 September 2008
Tuesday 30th September 2008
It is amazing how quickly life settles back to normal and today has been a perfect example, I am back into my routine of cleaning and ironing and have even managed to prepare dinner before 2pm, okay admittedly it is with the help of my new best friends....my slow cooker and Schwartz sauces, but they truly are amazing and I couldn't cook the meal from scratch for the price or taste of Schwartz, they are so good mom even went home armed with about 20 of them.
Monday, 29 September 2008
Monday 29th September 2008
The first morning without mom and as I have said before, a huge hole in the house where she should be. The children have stayed at home today as we arrived back from London so late last night and they were so exhaused that Si and I decided they deserved a pj day to recover. My new friend Catherine (a mom at the children's school) arrived at 10h45 armed with chocolate cake to check in on me and we had a lovely visit which provided a much needed diversion. Floors have been vacumed and clothes have been washed and I am about to start the ironing, so I guess as they (who ever the hell they are) say, life goes on.
Am feeling much better than this morning having spoken to mom and found out that she is home safe and sound and feeling good, also had a long chat with Beryldene and that is always enough to brighten my day, so the soul is restored and I am back in business!!!!!
Sunday 28th September 2008
Wow, that was much harder than anticipated......after a fairly laid back start to the morning, we caught the overland train up to Clapham Junction where we were met by Andrew and went back to his flat for lunch (7 of us in a 5 seater was something to behold lol, but we survived). Lunch was followed by a leisurely stroll up the river and the children played in Wandsworth Park while the grownups continued the walk to work off the gorgeous meal (even more gorgeous considering it was put on by a confirmed bachelor).
So lovely to be able to leave the children playing for an hour and know that they would be okay.....I know, I know, you are probably sick of hearing how safe it is here, but it is still a pleasant surprise to us, so please bare with me for a little longer!
The afternoon soon ran away with us and it was time to start the trek to Heathrow, and I am not to proud to admit that this is where the problems started and it was directly my fault....a bit of history.....we have spent many an hour in London traffic (as you will remember from past posts) and I thought that it would be so much easier and less stressful for all concerned to simply catch the train up to the airport and then make our way back again by the same method - I thought it would be much easier all round and a bit of a final adventure for mom, sadly I hadn't taken into account the underground!
While overland trains are very civilised and a lovely, comfortable way to travel, the tubes are another thing all together - there are no lifts on most of the stations and Simon and I were lugging prams and suitcases up and down flights of stairs, the carriages are all extremely full and tragedy was only just averted when the door closed on Nicholas's pram because another passenger just stepped onto the train and stopped.....no consideration at all, well I am sure that he will be feeling the bruise on his foot that I gave him when Si finally managed to pry the doors off us and I shoved the pram onto the train (lesson learned, Nicholas only boards trains on my person from now on and never ever again in a pram....absolutely terrifying and enough to reduce my poor mother to tears). After two tube changes we finally arrived at Heathrow and a rather more stressed and rather less composed mother went through check in and then after a very rushed goodbye (planned with no tears to help all concerned) she was through security and on her way home.
Having seen her off, we then had to make our way back to Victoria Station to catch the overland train back to Haywards Heath - what a nightmare, we proceeded to catch the first tube back to Green Park where the plan was to then connect onto the Victoria Line to tube into Victoria, only to discover on arrival that the Victoria Line was closed for maintenance, so we then worked out if we caught the Bakerloo line to Embankment and then connected to the Circle Line we would finally arrive at Victoria - my children were absolutely wonderful and managed along even though they were by this time so tired they could barely stay awake, Nicholas was breastfed on trains and walking through the station and he also managed unbelievably well.
Amongst all this however, I have to mention a moment of kindness which gave us all the strength to keep going and stay cheerful.....on the trip from Bakerloo to Embankment there were two young Spanish men sitting opposite Phillip, Nicholas and I, and I can only imagine that from the strained exhausted looks on our faces they felt sorry for us, because before I knew it, they were handing us all packets of crisps with smiling faces and although not a word passed between us it was a very uplifting moment of incredible kindness, and restored my faith in humanity!
Well we finally made Victoria Station and found our rather more comfortable train home, and it was only at this point that my world fell apart and it fully hit home that my mom has gone and that she will only get to see and hold Nicholas again when he is a little toddler of approximately 13 - 15 months old...it was totally devastating and I spent the trip home and most of the remainder of the evening in tears......it is not that I want to go back to South Africa, I realised again last night when we finally arrived back in Lindfield that it is home and I LOVE it here, I just wish my folks were up the road like they used to be, and while I understand that is a totally illogical choice, it doesn't make me want it any less. The hole in the house where mom used to be is huge at the moment, but I guess we were really lucky to have her for as long as we did and I am eternally grateful for that.
All in all a very hard day!
So lovely to be able to leave the children playing for an hour and know that they would be okay.....I know, I know, you are probably sick of hearing how safe it is here, but it is still a pleasant surprise to us, so please bare with me for a little longer!
The afternoon soon ran away with us and it was time to start the trek to Heathrow, and I am not to proud to admit that this is where the problems started and it was directly my fault....a bit of history.....we have spent many an hour in London traffic (as you will remember from past posts) and I thought that it would be so much easier and less stressful for all concerned to simply catch the train up to the airport and then make our way back again by the same method - I thought it would be much easier all round and a bit of a final adventure for mom, sadly I hadn't taken into account the underground!
While overland trains are very civilised and a lovely, comfortable way to travel, the tubes are another thing all together - there are no lifts on most of the stations and Simon and I were lugging prams and suitcases up and down flights of stairs, the carriages are all extremely full and tragedy was only just averted when the door closed on Nicholas's pram because another passenger just stepped onto the train and stopped.....no consideration at all, well I am sure that he will be feeling the bruise on his foot that I gave him when Si finally managed to pry the doors off us and I shoved the pram onto the train (lesson learned, Nicholas only boards trains on my person from now on and never ever again in a pram....absolutely terrifying and enough to reduce my poor mother to tears). After two tube changes we finally arrived at Heathrow and a rather more stressed and rather less composed mother went through check in and then after a very rushed goodbye (planned with no tears to help all concerned) she was through security and on her way home.
Having seen her off, we then had to make our way back to Victoria Station to catch the overland train back to Haywards Heath - what a nightmare, we proceeded to catch the first tube back to Green Park where the plan was to then connect onto the Victoria Line to tube into Victoria, only to discover on arrival that the Victoria Line was closed for maintenance, so we then worked out if we caught the Bakerloo line to Embankment and then connected to the Circle Line we would finally arrive at Victoria - my children were absolutely wonderful and managed along even though they were by this time so tired they could barely stay awake, Nicholas was breastfed on trains and walking through the station and he also managed unbelievably well.
Amongst all this however, I have to mention a moment of kindness which gave us all the strength to keep going and stay cheerful.....on the trip from Bakerloo to Embankment there were two young Spanish men sitting opposite Phillip, Nicholas and I, and I can only imagine that from the strained exhausted looks on our faces they felt sorry for us, because before I knew it, they were handing us all packets of crisps with smiling faces and although not a word passed between us it was a very uplifting moment of incredible kindness, and restored my faith in humanity!
Well we finally made Victoria Station and found our rather more comfortable train home, and it was only at this point that my world fell apart and it fully hit home that my mom has gone and that she will only get to see and hold Nicholas again when he is a little toddler of approximately 13 - 15 months old...it was totally devastating and I spent the trip home and most of the remainder of the evening in tears......it is not that I want to go back to South Africa, I realised again last night when we finally arrived back in Lindfield that it is home and I LOVE it here, I just wish my folks were up the road like they used to be, and while I understand that is a totally illogical choice, it doesn't make me want it any less. The hole in the house where mom used to be is huge at the moment, but I guess we were really lucky to have her for as long as we did and I am eternally grateful for that.
All in all a very hard day!
Saturday 27th September 2008
Final packing day for mom and a day spent at home enjoying the lovely weather. Spent the evening with Robert, Kerry and the kids - had a lovely roast chicken on the webber with all the trimming and much much laughter, a simply stunning way for mom to spend her last night with us, and hopefully a memory she will carry with her.
Friday, 26 September 2008
Friday 26th September 2008
This week has been about mom and I spending some last minute quality time together....isn't it funny that she has been here for 2 months yet there is still so much that we want to do and say before she goes home. Nicholas has finally finished all his medical checkups and appointments and has been given a total all clear and declared "in perfect health", so now Mom can go home without stress and worry having stayed long enough to do exactly what she came here to do and see me through the birth and establishing of a routine.
I must be honest that having literally had my mom move in for the first two months has given me a much greater understanding, and in deed appreciation, for the Indian culture of having your family live with you in the early stages after childbirth, as western women, we are so determined to be independent and do it on our own that we are inclined to isolate ourselves and instead of asking for help we struggle on, often fighting post natal depression, and quite frankly we loose out on some of the experience.
What better than being able to focus on loving and nurturing your baby while someone near and dear to you takes care of you. I have really loved it all this time and it is in no small measure to my mom's presence and support....and of course the unsung hero in all of this has to be my dad - dad has been on his own in South Africa for the last 2 months and has literally given up my mom for mine and Nicholas's benefit, no small feat, and something I will forever be grateful for, to have been able to so enjoy this experience has been the greatest gift of all.
I must be honest that having literally had my mom move in for the first two months has given me a much greater understanding, and in deed appreciation, for the Indian culture of having your family live with you in the early stages after childbirth, as western women, we are so determined to be independent and do it on our own that we are inclined to isolate ourselves and instead of asking for help we struggle on, often fighting post natal depression, and quite frankly we loose out on some of the experience.
What better than being able to focus on loving and nurturing your baby while someone near and dear to you takes care of you. I have really loved it all this time and it is in no small measure to my mom's presence and support....and of course the unsung hero in all of this has to be my dad - dad has been on his own in South Africa for the last 2 months and has literally given up my mom for mine and Nicholas's benefit, no small feat, and something I will forever be grateful for, to have been able to so enjoy this experience has been the greatest gift of all.
Tuesday, 23 September 2008
Nick Pics
Caught these this morning while Nick was enjoying some bonding time with his gran......finally a smile, a little out of focus, but beggars can't be choosers!!!!!
Monday, 22 September 2008
Abject Terror
Tonight while I was sitting in my room settling Nicholas, I began thinking about my mom's eminent departure, and the thought fills me with terror....how on earth am I going to cook, wash, iron, dust, clean, raise my two older children, handle homework and keep my husband happy all while meeting the ever increasing demands of my littlest, with Megan and Phillip I had Rose to handle the house and I only had to handle the family - I know that millions of women all over England are doing it, I just don't know how!
For the two months that my mom has been with us she has been the wind in our sails and the keel keeping our ship going in the right direction, with her help we haven't really felt the demands of our baby and now that she is going I think the true impact is going to hit us like an earthquake, without warning and wrecking absolute havoc, and I am absolutely terrified!
For the two months that my mom has been with us she has been the wind in our sails and the keel keeping our ship going in the right direction, with her help we haven't really felt the demands of our baby and now that she is going I think the true impact is going to hit us like an earthquake, without warning and wrecking absolute havoc, and I am absolutely terrified!
Sunday, 21 September 2008
Sunday 21st September 2008
What a lovely lovely day....the skies were once again blue, and while Phillip went off with Wayne to rugby practise the rest of the family headed out to Southwater for Megan's Cub raft race. What fun, Simon got involved with the building the raft and our girls team made a wonderful effort racing against all the boy teams - they even managed to win one of the relay races and it was wonderful to once again be amongst a group of screaming mothers, all we needed were yellow tshirts and I could have been back at a Hillcrest Primary School sports day.
After the race we collected Phil and headed out to Piltdown to a lovely homely pub which has a great kiddies area and nice wholesome home cooked food for a pub lunch - I drank my first 500mls of cider much to mom and Si's amusement and it was stunning to just sit and relax in the sunshine.
Tonight on the news we have heard that Thabo Mbeki has been forced to resign as president of South Africa, and I confess to feeling a deep concern that things are going to get bad there before they stabilise and I admit to more then a little worry for family and friends.....we are now so removed from the problems in SA and so caught up with the crumbling economy here that we don't give much thought to the politics on the other side of the world and tonight was a stark reminder that not all our loved ones are as safe as we perhaps are, something which leaves me feeling very sad when I think just how beautiful the country is and how much it has to offer.
After the race we collected Phil and headed out to Piltdown to a lovely homely pub which has a great kiddies area and nice wholesome home cooked food for a pub lunch - I drank my first 500mls of cider much to mom and Si's amusement and it was stunning to just sit and relax in the sunshine.
Tonight on the news we have heard that Thabo Mbeki has been forced to resign as president of South Africa, and I confess to feeling a deep concern that things are going to get bad there before they stabilise and I admit to more then a little worry for family and friends.....we are now so removed from the problems in SA and so caught up with the crumbling economy here that we don't give much thought to the politics on the other side of the world and tonight was a stark reminder that not all our loved ones are as safe as we perhaps are, something which leaves me feeling very sad when I think just how beautiful the country is and how much it has to offer.
Saturday, 20 September 2008
Saturday 20th September 2008
What magnificent weather today, the English have been predicting an Indian summer and they may be right, the last week has been truly lovely and it is so nice to be warm during the day and able to get our washing dry out on the new washing line that our neighbours Mark and Stephanie have given us.....oh how things have changed, if you had told me a year ago that getting a new washing line would give me such joy I would have laughed.
Mom woke up feeling a bit grim this morning, so while she spent some time in bed, Megan and I headed off to meet her new extra English teacher and Simon and Phillip headed into Haywards Heath to buy a new pair of football/rugby boots. Worked out very well and Phil came home as pleased as punch with his new shoes and Megan loves Sarah who will be working with her for the next 6 - 10 weeks in an attempt to finally sort out her reading and spelling issues for once and for all.
After returning home I had a little sleep on the couch with Nick and woke up craving simba chips (and no I am not pregnant again lol), so Mom and I decided to head for Uckfield to explore the little South African shop that we have been told is there. Uckfield is about 17kms from us and is a really really beautiful little town, we had great fun driving around the area and have decided to return next week to have a better look as it has definite settling possibilities for us if we find that the schools are worth while....anyway, enjoyed the SA shop and so much closer than the one in Newhaven, came home armed with yet another jar of Cross and Blackwell Mayo, some lovely peppermint crisp and chocolate logs, biltong, dry wors, niknaks and Sparberry juice....so the taste of home, and this time even Mom admitted to having missed those flavours as she has been here so long.
Tomorrow Phil is off to rugby training and Megs has a raft race with her cub troop so providing the weather holds it should be a lovely day outdoors for the whole family.
Mom woke up feeling a bit grim this morning, so while she spent some time in bed, Megan and I headed off to meet her new extra English teacher and Simon and Phillip headed into Haywards Heath to buy a new pair of football/rugby boots. Worked out very well and Phil came home as pleased as punch with his new shoes and Megan loves Sarah who will be working with her for the next 6 - 10 weeks in an attempt to finally sort out her reading and spelling issues for once and for all.
After returning home I had a little sleep on the couch with Nick and woke up craving simba chips (and no I am not pregnant again lol), so Mom and I decided to head for Uckfield to explore the little South African shop that we have been told is there. Uckfield is about 17kms from us and is a really really beautiful little town, we had great fun driving around the area and have decided to return next week to have a better look as it has definite settling possibilities for us if we find that the schools are worth while....anyway, enjoyed the SA shop and so much closer than the one in Newhaven, came home armed with yet another jar of Cross and Blackwell Mayo, some lovely peppermint crisp and chocolate logs, biltong, dry wors, niknaks and Sparberry juice....so the taste of home, and this time even Mom admitted to having missed those flavours as she has been here so long.
Tomorrow Phil is off to rugby training and Megs has a raft race with her cub troop so providing the weather holds it should be a lovely day outdoors for the whole family.
Nicholas Update 19th September 2008
Our precious baby boy is growing like a little weed and today was the first of his developmental checkups with our lovely gp Dr. Lawrence, and to use his words, Nicholas is doing brilliantly.
At the moment there don't seem to be any lags due to his prematurity and although he is a little slow to smile (only a handful a day and normally at Granny) that is more due to his serious nature then his development. His muscle tone is good and he is weight baring nicely on his little legs, his startle reflex is well established and he is able to track an item over his mid line, so all in all he is at present a normal 7 week old as opposed to a 3 week old as expected.
His weight is still climbing steadily and he is now 4.78kgs which is a gain of another 460 grams this week and puts him onto the 91st centile for boys - we have had to put the first set of new born clothes away and will be buying Huggies number 2 on the next shop as his little thighs are getting too big for the Huggies number 1. He has also grown in length quite considerably and now measures 54cm with a head circumference of 39.5cm. In fact today I had to take his new born insert out of his car seat as he is getting too tall for it and as he is really starting to gain good control over his head it is now time - quite an emotional moment I have to say, hard to believe that in little over a week he will already be two months old.
At the moment there don't seem to be any lags due to his prematurity and although he is a little slow to smile (only a handful a day and normally at Granny) that is more due to his serious nature then his development. His muscle tone is good and he is weight baring nicely on his little legs, his startle reflex is well established and he is able to track an item over his mid line, so all in all he is at present a normal 7 week old as opposed to a 3 week old as expected.
His weight is still climbing steadily and he is now 4.78kgs which is a gain of another 460 grams this week and puts him onto the 91st centile for boys - we have had to put the first set of new born clothes away and will be buying Huggies number 2 on the next shop as his little thighs are getting too big for the Huggies number 1. He has also grown in length quite considerably and now measures 54cm with a head circumference of 39.5cm. In fact today I had to take his new born insert out of his car seat as he is getting too tall for it and as he is really starting to gain good control over his head it is now time - quite an emotional moment I have to say, hard to believe that in little over a week he will already be two months old.
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